sheep at night, (1 a.m.)
(but i always thought that sheep were not the best farm animal to represent insomnia.). eventually sheep turns to old memories, choke down like hard candies. hurts to swallow. or maybe that's just the tears.

(2 a.m.)or bottles of beer on a wall, except i'm
numbering the ones on your floor, shattered. drinking never made you better but it never stopped you from opening another. and another.

(3 a.m.) numbers of leaves on clovers. i picked so many and i found one four-leaf one. i lost it and never found another. is it possible to lose luck as it is to gain it? if that's the case, it explains where you went.

i counted. i have.

i count but i've lost track.

The one whom I never loved at first
one that I never had an idea of
one outstanding in beauty
And her knowledge spoke.

The disappointment that caused you a smile
The coin paid to save my poverty
And the pain that took away my joy
one I have to bare at times
An achievement never dreamt of

I have tried looking for it in the Church
But just lost it at the touch of the latch
Thought It's fish, by the hook I'd have a catch
Turns out It's an Eagle far from about to perch
I once found It's precious unclear trail
Which trail led me specifically nowhere
One moment it was, the other it wasn't here
I went out clubbing hoping to find my luck
And that proved love isn't a walk in the park
I scratched my mind hoping to get a reply
But in such affairs even the mind can't tell a lie
I thought with tomorrows come a new dawn
Each that came by did but leave me on my own
I searched in every path, every road,every village and town
Wandering, everyone took me for a clown
I explored the young and the old, the real and the tales told
But sunk deep in despair with nothing concrete to hold
I searched in the cracks through the broken walls
Trust me I did stretch my courage, had the *****
I tried to find it, like they said its easier using wallets
I hunted it down, with spears and mallets, guns and bullets
I looked everywhere, paying attention to the different faces
It was neither on my mind nor the streets I tore apart
Even prayer couldn’t bring it on miracle wings
I tried all options there are for we the beings
I didn't know the search starts within the Heart
That's why I was searching for love in the wrong places

April of 1972*

All that spring,
the choppers fell
like fat, black flies,
swatted by rockets,
their crews tumbling
in abrupt terror,
but I soared on
like Icarus, only warier
of the burning sky
and made it home
  ~mce

We all play the game each day.
And that's all it is, a game.
Our lives dependant on a dice roll.
Or is it predetermined?
Will we ever know?
Luck or fate?

I hate him
But I do not take away his strengths
Instead I give him mine
The kindness transforms
Adds luck and flows
For more return
But treasures scorn
The truth would be
Love died at sea

Scavenging for that once in a lifetime
Four leaf clover
Heads down
Eyes searching the earth
For one small piece of luck
That may never be found
These chins need to rise
People need to see the world
Stop looking for this luck
And realize how lucky they are
To be alive
To live in this beautiful world.

Contradictory feelings...
The buzz is insane.
Squealing with excitement,
Although I feel ill.
You are extraordinary...
I want a closer look
I wish for better luck.
Come here, darling.
You don't have to
Hold your tongue...
I can busy it otherwise,
If you'd prefer.
I know I would.
We are so close
In distance,
But not quite there yet
Emotionally.
If I reached out to you,
Would you take my hand?
Take my hand,
Until you understand...