I repent the way
You make me feel
Not a word you say,
My heart skips a beat.

You're this ghost
Invisible, yet, imaginable
You hold my hand,
You hug me tight
It's only a dream
It'll all be right.

Like swift winds
You swivel and fly
Up in the clouds
Of my dreamy mind.

You come and go
And provoke me to think
A thousand unimaginable situations
A thousand unimaginable things.

I wish this was a lucid dream
I wish I could control your emotions
But you don't feel what I see
You don't see what I feel.

I am joker faking a smile
An ear looking into your eyes
Laughing at your silly jokes
Loving it when you make fun of me.

I am the one standing here
Under the rain I drench and adhere
You in my thoughts
You in my mind
Yes, I am that shadow
In the curtains behind.

Yes, I am that girl
Your eyes never find.

Every second is stretched like country roads - empty and silent, long and endless.
Every heartbeat is strong enough to destroy walls, loud enough to drown thunderstorms.
Every question is written in indecipherable codes like long forgotten  ancient languages.
Every answer is buried in a world more complex and fearsome than Homer's imagination.

Every spoken word is an arrow shot in the darkness that I often want to take back.
Every waking moment is spent dreaming about the sound of your laughter and the  sparkle of your eyes.

Ace is a waterfall
And I should never let you go first
Two is you
And you always pick me
Three is me
And I always drink up
Four, floor
And you're always last
Five, guys
And I smile as you drink
Six, chicks
And you laugh
Seven, heaven
And I'm never as close as you
Eight, date
And you're always mine
Nine, rhyme
And I take your favorites
Ten, categories
And you pick cars
Jack is Never Have I Ever
And I know how to get you
Queen, questions
And you know I always lose
King makes the rules
And on my numb lips
I only taste stale Natty
Instead of sweet words
To make you love me forever
But then
If it was a rule
It wouldn't be real
Just forced
Like my laughter
At your friends' jokes
So I finish my beer
Crush the can in my hand
Like you with my heart
And continue to play
The game

Squeeze, squirt and smear
A pimple,
Keep it disgusting,
But keep it simple.
Like lance a boil
To release its ****,
Describe it well,
Make a fuss
Over the putrid sore,
Use poetic words
To enhance the gore.
Drive your finger
Up your nose,
Spit green lugers
Like gargoyles.
Present yourself
Like a loser.
Pick morning goo
From you eyes,
And wipe it on
Your naked thighs.
Don't clean the dirt
Beneath your nails,
Au natural seldom fails.
Don't brush your teeth
Til afternoon,
This should make
Your lover swoon.
When you pass
The silent bomb,
Take the blame
With aplomb,
Smile as though
You've done no wrong.
Clean the wax
From both your ears,
Use something white
Your love holds dear,
Be ruthless,
Don't show a care.

Use some or all
Of the above,
I guarantee,
A cure for love.

Ur my moon my stars..
My moments my thoughts...
My happiness my charm..
My Love my world..

She'd slept bad.

Thoughts of John
invaded her head
as she lay in bed.

She'd hugged her
Teddy close; kissed
him pretending.

Stroked Teddy's
head, his arms,
kissed him repeatedly.

Her sister snored.

Her sister talked
in her sleep.

Elaine wished
for morning.

Wished for dawn's
light and birdsong;
wanted John there
in her bed;
in her head.

Breakfast was a chore;
she didn't want to eat;
her mother said
she had to: none of
that slimming nonsense.

She ate feeling full,
feeling ill.

Lovesick her
father said jokingly.

Her mother
was not amused,
said just a slimming thing.

Elaine ate and mused dully.

Wondered if John
would kiss her again.

Did she want him to?
She didn't know;
half yes, half no.

The kiss made her
feel out of her
comfort zone;
made her feel
unknown feelings;
buzzes in her *****.

She sipped the lukewarm tea:
sugary sweet, drowned in milk.

Her sister chatted about boys
and what so and so did.

Her mother said boys
were not for breakfast talk.

Her father said Elaine
-his Frumpy hen-
didn't need to slim,
was OK as she was.

Elaine wanted John;
wanted a kiss;
wanted him to touch;
a little not over much.

you don't just get addicted to drugs
or drinks
or cigarettes or fire or holes or pain or knives
but thoughts and words and people and memories among all of which

memories are the worst.

I just want to let you know
That I am still here for you
I had to let you go
So you could figure out what's true.

You hold my soul within your eyes
I never wanted to love you
You haven't said your goodbyes
And I hope you never do.

Take all the time you need
To figure out what you should do
Ignore my pain as my heart bleeds
I just want what's best for you.

But when you've got it figured out
If you still want me let me know
Please don't give me room to doubt
If I should stay or I should go.