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chasing rain Dec 2017
supposedly,
“love is”

it was supposed to be
an arrow through my chest.

instead it’s
an asteroid destroying a planet,
merciless,
demolishing all foundations.

i’m sick of it.


“pining for attention,”

wishing for
invisibility.
i don’t want your attention.
i won’t look at you,
so don’t look at me.

i’m sick of it.


“feverish faces,”

you talk to me
and i’m burning.
liquid fire pumps
through my veins,
and it’s unbearable.

i’m sick of it.


“and drumming hearts.”

screaming,
racing pulse,
left breathless,
drowning in a salty ocean,
lungs filling with liquid.

i’m sick of it.

this world was
fine.

boxed in a bedroom,
listening to stories
of other people,
but you’ve brought
unfamiliarity into this
dull world of mine.

the sun was never yellow,
the trees were never green,
pink was never a feeling.

this world was
grey,
black,
and white.

put everything
back to normal.

because i’m sick
of being
lovesick.
—love is a disease i'm not ready to experience alone
luis Dec 2017
THE TITLE OF THIS POEM IS AT THE END.

I feel a fever coming on
Intense heat from my forehead
I'm sweating even though
it's 20 degrees outside
My hands are clammy
My skin is pricked
by a million needles
I want to throw up
I can barely stand
My stomach hurts,
and I feel cold and hot
I'm shaking, trembling
all over.
I can barely move
my lips to speak.
I'm dizzy.
Every bone in my body
aches with the pain
of a million paper cuts.
My heart beats irregularly
slow, fast, slow, fast
I think I might faint.


I went to the doctor.

Turns out,
there's no medicine
for lovesickness.
peace to all of you who go through the fire and the flames and still carry on (if you got that reference you deserve a high five)
Lydia Nov 2017
I am physically ill from the abuse that my heart has taken from breaking

my muscles ache from shaking
due to the constant chill of being hollow

fuzzy thoughts like nothingness run through my head

an eternal longing for this something
something
I don't even know what

this poem, these words, these thoughts are all nothing

just black text on a web page

maybe they are my need to be heard
my need to be loved
at the same time this ache to be hated

the same way I hate myself

I have decided that forever is going to feel like this

just me, walking around day to day
on the outside looking okay
but secretly dealing with this constant twist in my guts and a gaping hole in my heart

maybe it's my soul digging it's way out of my shell

desperately trying to get out to find another body to dive into

one much more deserving than myself
who can love this girl who everyone finds beautiful
except she doesn't even see that
Grace Spellman Nov 2017
so i think it might be best
if i try to
separate myself for awhile
ive been opened up so far
but honestly its quite exhausting
all the reaching out and wondering who cares
who cares enough to reach back
so i think it might be best
if i close my doors for awhile
because i am so tired
i just need to sleep for a little
and recharge
maybe i can try this thing again a little later

*but im just so tired.
Anxiety and depression are the only friends i know.
Elyciren Oct 2017
I claw the skin off my hands
Leaving just blood, bone, and flesh.
Panic starts to rise, tears start falling
My cries soft and my bones rattle
Pick me apart take the darkness out
Paint me in yellow and drink away my sadness.
I feel so sad and depersonalized
Alexander Oct 2017
My heart has been sunk.
And I have drowned.
In this broken world,
Love is no longer a privilege,
It is a chore...
Spooky Babe Oct 2017
He loves me, he loves me not
These dark thoughts seize my mind
I spend my time watching the clock
Attempting to relax but I can't unwind

I held onto the idea of "we"
I'm such a delusional, and stupid ****
When there was always "you"and "me"
I should've known with my bad luck

I refuse to believe this is the end
But aren't I just hurting myself more?
Maybe we were meant to be just friends?
Or you're delusional and I'm s'posed to be yours

The only way we'll know is from time
And I pray to God it's on my side
Are we star crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet?
Or ride or die like Bonnie and Clyde?
Always for him
3:18pm
Venny Oct 2017
You seep into me, like a black ink stain. Controlling my urges, and feeding my pain. Your fingers twist into the depths of my chest, pulling at veins. A burrowing pest.

Your rotting confection sticks to my itching teeth. A liquorice taste, leaving me bittersweet.

I get lost in my darkness, and cling to your light. But it guides me to nowhere, as you steal my sight. A zombie for your heavy pets, and your soft wet kiss.  Your eyes were my windows, but you've pasted over them with bricks.

I search for you in galaxies, and worlds lost upon me. I run to you in nightmares, and pray for you in dreams. The empty air that fills my lungs, and staggers all my thoughts. The skeleton left in my closet, plotting to leave me to rot.

I have no plans of letting go, or willing this to end. I'll hang on every word you say until the very end.

I'll kneel at the alter of your lacking religion. I'll weep for your aching parts, and all you're missing.

I'll worship you like you're a God, and lick your wounds like a dog licks his scars. My Eros who longs to take over me, my Poseidon who can't find the sea. Come to me when your body is worn, and your heart is weak, and your mind war torn.

Take my heart, my soul is your host. I'm in love, but only know your ghost.
Toodleloolove Sep 2017
Boom Boom
How many beats did you request

Boom Boom
How long have I loved you

Boom Boom
Lived for you

your touch
your smell
your laugh

Boom Boom
How long have I belonged to you

Boom Boom
How many beats will be yours

For you
I would give you the world
My whole heart
Whole heartedly
again and again and again

Have I been here before
have we danced to this music
did you speak to the dj
you knew it was my favorite

would you take my hand
give them a show
would you?
you would

again and again and again
HIM
He came to my life in adagio
He was very minor,
As minor as the D minor chord
All thoughts on death
He was depressed
But his passion for music kept him alive

Despite having a depressed life,
He perfected my life
He made me a song
He always listens to me
He knew I loved poetry
And so he tried to be interested in one
He's very romantic
While I'm very anti-romantic
I could only give him this poem as a gratitude
Not quite a poem
Rather, a confession
I wanted to hug him so bad,
But distance was separating us

The first time he said 'hi' to me
I already knew he likes me
He chased me
But he didn’t know that I’ve loved him before
He didn’t know that we’ve met before
He won’t know me
But I knew him
And I don’t want him to know that we’ve met before
But I will never forget the face I saw two years ago

I hope I could be your depression remedy
I hope we could meet (again)
I hope you will always be happy
I knew you'll come to Istanbul for me
Thank you
Thank you.
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