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Henry 2h
Someone once told me;
"Writing is a lonely experience"
It really is
No one sees you toiling away at night
Fighting the demon of anti life
as he tries to make you end it all
No one sees how much thought you put into one word
As you alight your tired mind trying to predict how this will impact your story
No one sees your many hours of work tearing away at research while fighting the demon of madness
No one sees your dreams and aspiration to be the best
And when they do you become a golden rag
Used to clean the fat cats dark mouth
No one sees your endless night trying to organise your ideas into fantastic world and when they do they link it to something unrelated
No one sees how you slowly lose yourself to the unrhythmic assonance associated with the unrelated
No one sees just what you're trying to portray as they have to interpret their own meaning
No one hears the click-clack of the keyboard that slowly hypnotize you into oblivion
And if you finally finish you hate it
I can't look at the stars                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
and not think of you                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
   I wonder where you are                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
and if you lonely too                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I can't look at the sea                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                        
or it's waves of blue                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
without remembering me                                                               ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
being there with you                                                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I can't gaze at the sun                                                              ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                              
when it's shining outside                                                          ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                              
only you light can me up inside                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I hate being out at night                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
if the sky is too clear                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                
knowing the moonlight                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
is reflecting off your hair                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­       
 If I were to go blind                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                   
and I couldn't ever see                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
I' d see you in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
you haunt my memories                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I can't live without you,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
how can you be without me?                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
Don't you miss me
too?                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
Aren't you ever lonely?
Zywa 4d
The wind is humming

low in the deep cave, it sings --


itself less lonely.
Composition "Boete", part 3: "Stoek" ("Penance", part 3: "Trac", 2023, Jan-Bas Bollen), for HyperTheremin and two organs, performed by Jan-Bas Bollen in the Organpark on March 22nd, 2025

Collection "org anp ARK" #105
jewel 4d
dissolving;
the shadows of a faint memory
are left behind by palms of a stranger,
grasping ahold of the glassy walls of my heart;
but your eyes drift away as if to tell me
i never held a moment in your eyes,
as if i was just a muse,
the briefest study
in your work in artistry;
so please
meet me back in five
if i matter

to you
copyrighted, poemsbyjewel (2025).
the loneliness glides over my skin
burrows deeps
and settles into my bones
no matter what I do
it never leaves
I could talk all day to everybody
I could have a million friends
but I would still feel the same
lonely
soul chilling loneliness
never ceasing
Direct and concise
Without mention
                  From father to daughter
To she who pounded his chest
To she who whispered don’t go
To she who wept across the county

Business like
                      Wills
Black and white
                      Bound in ribbons
                      Attached to the heart

With strings binding in knots
With words at hourly rates
With clauses omitting
                                                 I loved you x
Ren 7d
You touch me like a whisper meant for no one,
Soft, fleeting, fading when the world looks away.
I reach, not to hold, but to be held,
In the quiet ache where your silences stay.

Would you notice if I disappeared in parts?
If I cracked my ribs just to make you look back?
Would you still see me in bruised silhouettes,
Or am I just the echo you never unpacked?

My mother taught me how to be still for others,
How to swallow storms and call it peace.
But I am not a pond, love. I am the sea,
And you sail me blindfolded, begging for ease.

You cried at the lake, and I broke with you.
Every bone in me folded like paper in rain.
I said the wrong thing. God, I always do,
But I’d drown a thousand times to lift your pain.

At night, there's a voice, not mine, not yours,
Singing about dancers and distance and fate.
It tells me I’m a line without a hook,
A verse unfinished, a heart too late.

You say I’m sweet, you say I’m kind.
But only when no one hears.
And I let you, every time,
Because rejection is better than disappearing.

So if you ever return, soaked and shaking,
Know that I am still standing where the tide breaks,
Not waiting, not hoping, just aching
In the place where your love never wakes.
wrote it based on one of my fav songs, line without a hook
Ren Apr 18
I know I shouldn’t ache like this, I do,
You were never mine, not in word or vow.
Yet watching you with him, some part withdrew,
Like losing something sacred, even now.

I saw the signs, you turned your gaze away,
Laughed softer, answered slower, broke the thread.
But still I stitched my hope into each day,
Pretending you were paused—not gone, not led.

You never lied. You never called it love.
I wrote those dreams in ink you never touched.
You said “we’re friends,” and I said “close enough,”
While shaking hands betrayed I cared too much.

Now he walks with you where I once would dare,
My silence roars, and still I call it fair.
probably the last poem to the series of my other heartfelt romantic poems
Aaamour Apr 18
She stands there laughing with her friends,
While I fantasise about her, as I read my books

I tracked the way to the station she gets off at,
I couldn't track a way to her heart

I thought love was like the colourful trees, the tall buildings.
That the metro passes through,
I forgot the slums and the tunnels.

Fate made us stand together once, time paused, the worry about my meetings lost,
I just stood there, in awe, looking at her, lost in her eyes.

Eventually, I learned that the girl in the metro had a guy,
And now comes my station forcing me to step out of the metro.
This is my heart broken in two,                                                             ­                                                                      ­                                                      
it can't heal; it still loves you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Th­ese are my eyes tearing & blue                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
They can't dry; I still miss you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
These are my hands, shaking so bad                                                              ­                                                  
              ­                                                                 ­                                 
They just let go of the best I've had                                                            
                                                                ­                                                 
 These are my lips cracked & dry                                                          
                                                                ­                                              
Missing your kiss, asking why?                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
 ­ These are my feet unable to move                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
I can't live here without you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
This is my life without you in it                                                                     ­                                        
 Missing a piece that only you fit
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