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Evie 4d
I

my friend
how has fear consumed my lungs
how i dare not open mouth
for i choke years worth of screams
how a body
became so moldable
so willing to feel hands
it just stopped
being
i was created on saturn's ring
my body constricted
my mind an obsession
breathing
living
meat
quickly rising
quickly falling

II

friend dare i say i miss you quite a bit
even though you called me a freak quite a lot
words that are like fists
become set in stone
your mind a raging ocean
and me a human
barely with my head above it.

III

i was once travelling
and on the bus a man was sleeping
and i started looking at man
and oh friend i was fascinated
how when he woke up
he rubbed his eyes
he drank some water
and i started crying
because how human of him
to be thirsty
and to rub the sleep of
and to sleep
i envied him
i wish i could sleep
for quite a while
maybe even forever
maybe... maybe i shoul..
wait where is it
i can't find my body
maybe i left it on that bus
or maybe it's in his house
or maybe it's still in school
maybe even with you friend
i shouldn't be so calm
i shouldn't panic
i hear your smile
''you truly don't care about anything''
where is my body
whereismybodywhereismybodywhereismybodywhereismybody
i hear your smile
''that's what happens when you design things too much''
friend please
stop
help me find it
find me

IV

i saw you in a dream
and you laughed like you were manic
and i naturally i laughed along
i noticed
you had fists for hands
knuckles white squeezing
i couldn't breathe suddenly
laughing turned to sobbing
your hands were red
blood so much blood
covering you
a hole in my shirt
my favorite shirt
heart was gone
you were gone too
screaming didn't help
waking up is not an option
i mean my heart i have to
i need to find it
what are they gonna say when they see the hole
so i run and i run and i see you
in different cheekbones
or brows
mostly eyes and noses
but it is never you
kidnappers are hard to find after the initial hours
and how long was it since i last felt a heartbeat
hours?
has it been months?
or even..years
i'm losing hope
there are still parts to be found
my body
my sick breathing clay
my body
i think it's finally time to

WAKE UP

V

let me look for you one last time.
if someone actually reads this whole thing i love you
Autmn T 6d
Friendship is a playground. Monkey bars and Slides. Swings and See-Saws. Slung arms around necks and giggles echoing throughout plastic tunnels. Climbing up, up, up- only to hurt yourself falling down. Sometimes there will be the same slung arm around your neck to carry you to help. Sometimes you lay on the ground for minutes that feel like hours and wonder if no one saw you fall, or maybe everyone else just decided to go home instead. Sometimes you look at an empty playground and see an abandoned circus with joy that use to be there only to be lost, nothing but a memory to the metal toys that once held everyone I have loved. Every piece still in its place but frozen in its child-like wonder.
Leah 6d
I think im suffering from intimacy on both sides of the line
With a man...
With a friend
Since I've moved here I feel so...
Empty?
Idk the right word to use,
When you feel like your insides are drowing,
Constantly surrounded my family and people on the street
I look around to check to see if anyone is looking at me.
No one.
Loneliness is one hell of a drug
Once you start feeling that,
It gets the better of you
Riddling your thoughts of foolery,
Tricking you into thinking no one is there
But is anyone here.
I see faces but no eyes.
child, please be silent
you know not of what you speak
your words are untrue
your verses are unholy
imagine you without me
Jaxey 6d
If love is a two way street
I'm the person on the sidewalk
the third wheel
gracie 7d
i hope that time isnt linear
so i can stop wondering if we could just go back.

i would keep moving forward,
keep moving on,
and eventually,
she would bring me back to you.
"im happy for them" i say
"im happy for us too"
i.b.
Amaris 7d
The blonde girl in my first class
Shares the same planner habits as me
Invited me to a party, my first
I watched a clock tick away
In tandem to music six blocks down
The girl, my “name twin”
In geology lab, playing with rocks
We traded phone numbers
She has her own group of friends
I sit by myself three rows up
The girl sitting across from me
Effortlessly thin, stark tattoos
We think and feel so similarly
She just made a friend, so
I only ask what they did for fun
A coworker, moving states away
I thought she was a cool Cali girl
Brunette ice princess
She hugged me on her last day
Now I smile at her 3AM Instagram selfies
At opportunities, I tried to jump
Misjudged the distance and fell instead
I scraped up my hands, leaving scars
I’ll remember you, years later
You who could have been a friend
Anna 7d
And then I was alone
A single daisy
In a field of thorns

Standing on my own
Waiting for a saviour
My future unknown

Waiting for the rain
To make me grow
Or wash me away
nobody tells you
about how deserts
are the most painful place
you will ever go
about how the nothingness
will ravage you  
and lick your bones.
about how your eyes bleed
after the tears disappear.
they don’t tell you.
that the desert
is the real danger
that sneaks in
after the storm.
it steals your hope
and grinds your soul
to dust,
to dust.
to join the other grains
and blow through
the never ending nothing
of your own hollow soul.
this goes out to everyone who says they don’t have depression because they “aren’t sad”. honey, you’ve been sad so long all your tears are gone and that is just as valid.
They say you can't fight fire with fire

but when the fire is the only thing

warming a cold heart,

is it okay that I don't mind the flames?
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