Too nimble for sluggards to swat
Flies will gambol when it gets hot.  
Don’t bother to flap.  
You’re too slow to slap
That buzzing, tormenting argonaut.

There once was a fella from France
Who'd dance a libidinous dance:
     He'd focus the eyes
     Of the club on his thighs,
Then dance himself out of his pants.

There once was a gal from Zumbrota
(A city in Minnemesota)
     Who drank in a bar
     And then got in her car
And crashed it while smoking some mota.

There once was a gal named Alvina,
A registered nurse at a gyne-
     cological practice
     Who brought in a cactus
That jumped on a naked ******.

There once was a **** head named Seth
Who smoked a whole kilo of ****
     And proceeded to beat off
     And beat all his meat off
And methed himself finally to death.

There once was a man from Green Bay
Who made it a habit each day
     To ****** an udder
     And churn his own butter,
Then go for a nap in the hay.

There once was a man from Pawtucket
Who'd eat a whole 18-piece bucket
     Of KFC chicken
     (His fingers a-lickin')
And as for the soda, he'd **** it.

There once was a sneezer named Rose
Who'd sneeze to the tips of her toes.
    She once sneezed so heinous
    She puked out her ****
And blew out her brains through her nose.

When judging the tree by its fruits
The bamboo proponent imputes
             That this grass’s great power
             Lies not with its flower
But deep in its rhizomes and roots