I haven't looked back after letting go of your hand.
It was a promise that you made me do.
I've kept that promise in every step away from you.
I've kept that promise in every tear I cried for you.
I've kept that promise in every moment I was missing you.
I've kept that promise hoping it would lead me back to you.

I hope you wouldn't feel the same way like I do.

I hope no one will leave you in the mid air while you are falling endlessly on the little things she did for you. I hope you will not doubt all the signals she sent to you. I hope you will not sleep at night overthinking the what ifs that could possibly happen. I hope your dreams will be pure dreams and that fear of losing her in reality won't come hunting you there. I hope you will not take risk if she doesn't have any plans to be in danger, because most likely, you will end up being alone in that danger. I hope her past won't make you feel any envious because you can give her love and all the past just gave her a different bunches of anger and madness and bitterness. Remember, you can give her love more than any other man could.

And while the butterflies in your stomach make creepy sounds while she stares at you, I hope you will not remember my eyes the first time you fell in love with me.

And while you heart flutters  because you make her laugh at the jokes you used to tell me, I hope you will not remember the smile I plastered on my face and how my dimpled cheeks becomes more rounded when you did all the little things to make me fall in love with you.

I hope she will choose you over and over again--the thing that you never did to me.

But if she won't, I hope you wouldn't feel the same way like I do.

Every moment serves
A fresh breath to present with
Leave the past alone

you would wound me
and inflict cuts so deep
i didn’t know if they’d ever heal
your words, lacerating.
but you would transfer heat through meetings of our mouths
and exchange sweat and flames
in return for skin on skin.
and you would start fires
that sparked from my fevered anger
and, lust.
but your attempt to cauterize my wounds didn’t work
because they became infected,
and i let you go.

I was holding onto you
And I didn't want to let go
But you were holding onto someone else
And I know you didnt want to let go
So I let go of my hands
So that you could be free
With the one you wish to be with

No matter how hard I try to fix what we had.
It's already too late
The damage has been done
You can't fix what's broken



Feelings fade
And he doesn't want me back.

If he knows you love him
But needs time to think about it
Let him go
If he's unable to let go of his ex
You shouldn't wait on him
Because regardless of what happens
You will only be a second option to him
So let him go
Before you let yourself go

scene one
i look up at him
an expectant look in his eyes
only one word needs to be said
but i can convey it in many ways
so i lean up
and let his lips connect with mine
just as i’ve imagined so many times before
as i tell him through the sweet kiss
yes
a thousand times yes

scene two
a park
a playground
children running with no care in the world
walking hand in hand with him
the one i care about most
tears form in my eyes as i think of when i was young
i loved living and now i dont
i look over to see him watching me
and in those eyes i realize
i love life again

scene five
a fight
throwing hateful words at each other
none of us means it
but at the same time we do
i thought i loved him
i do
but if i do then why am i crying
crying over him
he sees my tears and rushes to me
holds me
promises me nothing will happen like that
ever again

ending scene
he meets me in the hallway
the four dreaded words
we need to talk
i know what is coming and i look down at my shoes
the ones that he bought me
everything reminds me of him
he lifts my chin and looks into my eyes
don’t worry, he says
you deserve someone better than me
i love you
i always will
but you’re better off without me

epilogue
was he right?
i’ll never know
but one thing is for sure
my heart no longer aches everytime i see something we did together
maybe i didn’t deserve him
the one who made me love living again
but he taught me to love
and it’s time to love again.