You lost that look that
Kept me by your door waiting
To see where we'd go

For the girl who stays
Up thinking too much,
Clear your tears and
Kick your worries to the curb.

For once
Exhale the heaviness you carry, the
Emptiness you try to fill with
Little things that don’t matter.
Instead, wear that bumble bee hat, with
No cares about who likes it or who
Gives a **.
Simply let go and live.

remind me how to fly,
deep into the void sky,
without looking for the darkness.

Tempting to think that
soliloquies of the morning
on the garden bench radio
drifting in and out of earshot
seagull on the patience wall
tilting heads in confusion
to understand such chaos
well-wishing together to say
stumbling along blind desire
into ignorance forming timely
manner please don’t shout
when you could speak softly
it’s not enough to want
but always better to kneel
to protect your loved ones
elevating the ghosts yesterday
whispering their magic ballads

I like the sound of his voice when he says a warm hearted synonym
I like when my room smells like cloves and cinnamon
I open up my sternum and I show him what’s inside
He will take advantage of this fragile heart of mine
I ask my mama not to worry
I tell her I don’t feel as bad as I look
I’m giving a half assed apology
Worth is not defined by that holy book
Shes vindictive so she doesn’t understand
When I tell her it’s not about getting even
It’s about the loss of a good man
He knows how to make me cry
He knows how to take the sun out of my sky
This phone does not work it is phony
Tell them in person that I am feeling lonely
The next time I decide to open up this sternum of mine
I will be prepared to see nothing inside
You can have the rest of me
I guess this is how it’s meant to be
I carry the weight of my heart and my head
I think of how great it must feel to be dead
I think of him and fill with dread
I think of when we would listen to jpeg together in his bed
This rooms empty without the sound of the static on his face time
He may not have said much but his company was divine
I will never fill this hole
I feel so alone
It hurts to reminisce
Letting go is pure bliss

I really really wanted it to be you, I wanted you to be the one that could love me the way I deserve because oh boy how much I liked you. I asked you if there was anything else we could do, but you couldn't think of anything... you couldn't say anything to make me stay because I knew I had to go. It was hard because you weren't doing anything wrong, but neither doing anything right. And it was ******* hard because the part of me that died for you was having trouble accepting the fact that you and I are not gonna happen. I cannot think of you without smiling and crying at the same time, at least for now.
You were what could've been but wasn't, you were the one I hoped one day we'd do roadtrips with your sister and her family, you were the one I hoped would send me flowers, and surprise me with a kiss, and take me to places, and share memories and moments. You were the one I thought I would take with my family on vacation. You were the ******* one I thought we could go swim and walk and talk and fall madly in love. I close my eyes and I see us holding each other so tight and so infinite... I want to remember us in the rooftop watching the sunset, but more than that, I want YOU to remember it. I have to let you go, but please... don't forget me.