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I lived
No survived
For love
The hope that i could have teenage love
Then i could die in peace
But im getting closer to that edge
And as much as i love my first girlfriend
The urge to jump is too high
The one thing i lived for is slipping away
And soon i will have nothing left to live for
I wanted to experience love before i died
Now i want to die before my death

I have a girlfriend

I have a girlfriend so why do i still wish for my breath to be stolen
I have a girlfriend so why do i wish to have my whispers be a memory to those who forget my shadow,
So why do i wish to die

I have girlfriend so why do i still wish to not exist,
Why do i still want the blood to slip down my arms like truth is spilling from my veins
Why do i wish for the blood to crystalise in my heart till it suffocates and gets blackened

I have a girlfriend
So why do i still feel empty-

It seems like everytime I look at her
My thoughts start to blur
My face heats up like a oven
And I don’t know the reason

I confided in my friends and they said I have a crush
I tried to deny and they told me to shush
They told me that they could tell I was queer
And that me not realizing was torture

The months pass and I start to see
How the world looks in disgust at our intimacy
I stare back and challenge their glare
Their hate and ignorance I dare

My love holds strong
Though people tell me it’s wrong
We promise stay together through pain and doubt
As we both know that one day we’ll make it out.

I’m proud to say, I’m queer.

He told me he liked me
while walking in gym
I knew that he did
but to shy to say I didn´t like him
there are pins on my bag
bright color in my hair
and I start to wonder
¨how could he be so unaware?¨
I thought I was obvious
I though I was clear
but now he thinks he´s in love with me,
a lesbian queer

Vividly emblazoned in my mind is you the most beautiful body of work. Wanting nothing more than to write the sweetest arias about the depths of your heart.

Fingertips mapped constellations
where words dared not go,
and the night became a river
pulling us deeper, slower,
where time dissolved into touch.

Your kisses speak a language of velvet and fire, rewriting the silence between us, as you taught me the rhythmof surrender and return.

The world slipped away
when your lips met mine,
a hunger, a prayer,
a thousand sparks bursting into endless flames lit up my night like fireworks.

I opened my third eye
and we fell into eternity
As your body pressed against mine,
the rhythm of our shadows
dancing against the moon light.

The vision of you on replay
body to body cheek to cheek
heat pooling between us
like a secret too heavy to keep.
As you buried your secrets deep into me.

A first encounter turned into to soul binding acclimation
Your mouth was claiming the taste was sweet. Like lightning and thunder forming against the night sky.
The deeper you pulled me and I crashed harder into you until the sweetest cries broke from me like a prayer.

The feel of every gasp a confession,
every shiver a vow, every gaze a promise, every kiss a reminder and every taste a claim.

As we reached the peaks of mountains together our bodies sang songs of old and new turning into fire
burning, breaking, booming
two hearts lost and found again
in the oldest language of desire.

I waited in silence.
Cold air whistled,
raised goosebumps on our arms.
Your eyes finally closed—
dark lashes flickered
as you exhaled.
I leaned down to your ear.
The sleeping bag rustled.
“I love you,”
even though you don’t love me.
You mumbled something back.
I didn’t hear.
I never asked what you said.
I just stared up at the tent.
You’d love me,
maybe,
if I wasn’t a girl.
And I’d tell you,
if you weren’t
the one person
I couldn’t afford to lose.

I wanted to be loved.
I didn't want romantic relationships,
but I wanted to feel nurtured,
cared for.

I knew I was a lesbian,
but I still dated men.
I wanted validation.
I wanted to feel small again.
I wanted to feel important.

I hid my true self so more people would like me.
I didn't share my interests in worries of being made fun of,
and I didn't share what I was going through.
I didn't want people to think I was weird.

Now I show my true self.
Not as many people like me,
but that's alright.
I don't like them either.