Mosquito bitten bumps rise and falls
My finger tips pressuring soft cells
Hating how it feels as I take pleasure in killing
These wing foes
To them I am the terrorist with weapons of mass destruction
Not a terrorist of guns but one with pity and power to abuse
My feeling shift hotly from victim to symbolic hero
Everyone needs a bone toss in their direction
From the crude skeleton hiding within the dusty Shallows
Closet the feeling you gift to loved ones
Hush the happy times placed on the back logs of memory
Take note of polite strangers with words not your own
As I use them to speak a language taught to me years ago
When was my first word and did I speak it roughly as sandpaper
Or was it sweet to the ears with a buttery finish  
Am I too personal with my speech as this is all new to me?
Like a mouse with dreamy eyes watching the gleam off claws above
Silence is the key
Surrounded by much braver beast who riot into the night
I want to be heard

It's the kind of pain that just won't fade,
the kind of pain that feels like heartbreak.
Choke me
**** me
Just make it stop.

I just can't take this anymore
give me a break
why won't you break me?
I gave up, I lost myself over this,
so get up and stop saving me!

It feels like ******* heartbreak,
why does it feel like heartbreak?
God, it hurts so much,
why does it hurt so much?

Cheer all you want,
but what's lost is lost!
Fight me, cause you can't **** me anymore, something broke and I went too crazy to be calmed.

Pain makes you strong they say,
but honey I can tell you all it does
is break you in pieces and numb your sorry soul,
for there is no strength and suffering.

I write this on paper
Because words are too hard
Thy bring back the memories
That I wish were gone

I write this on paper
"Coping", I guess
My go-to source
For feeling my best

I write this on paper
Maybe one day you'll see
That I write this on paper
Because its killing me

One more day is fading away
as we ride this bus to the city
The storm is coming nearer now
And your bliss will turn to tears

We've almost reached our destination
Countless parachutes in the sky
These mosquitoes are swarming
before your eyes,
Just a moment's time til someone dies

The skies are getting darker now
Not a shard of light in this room
You'd better make good choices now
Or meet your impending doom

I hear your steps from the other room
And I'm already locked and loaded
You'd better get on running now
Or I'll destroy what's left of you

I walk upstairs to higher ground
and hear your cowardly whines,
I look in the eyes of my colleague
And said don't move, this **** is mine

I've made my way to my snipers' nest
and my eyes are set to ****
I've got my sights on your head right now
To pull the trigger, you know I will

White world and white - black
White in my mind and eyes
White killing a white
Black killing a black'


World becoming a white
World becoming a black
World becoming a light
World becoming a dark


I'm going on the black
In going of the white
I'm going on the red
In going on the gray

World becoming a white
World becoming a black
World becoming a light
World becoming a dark

23.11.17

When we going
We look a sky
a sun
and sometimes
sea too
When we going
to home
Going - sad
Going - trouble and
Depression
Depression
Why

Oh! Love - killing everything
Oh love - killing me
Killing your friend
Killing your darlings
Oh love - killing all

Hope - trap
Hope - blood
Happines like a web
And love - spider

Oh Love - killing everything
Oh love - killing me
Killing your friend
Killing your darlings
Oh love killing all

2017