Your first love's that person on the prologue of your love story
Your true love's the minor character at the start but the epilogue of your glory
Your first love's the one who leaves tears where there was laughter
Your true one wipes those tears and lives with you happily ever after
Your first love's the one you trust at first sight and doubt at last
Your true love's the one you doubt but ultimately fall and wholly trust
Your first love's the one you think you'll never forget in your lifetime
Your true love's the one not worth remembering but you never forget
Your first love's either the
first person whose heart you break
or the one who breaks your heart
Your true love's either the person
whose shattered heart you heal
or who heals & steals your hurt
I know sometimes first love can be true but
Your first love's most times the fantasy that drowns the sailor
And chains but true love's the reality you finally settle for,your "bailor"

Where evil lives, goodness thrives
If there’s no dead, there’s none alive
Angels come because demons ****
Peace exists because blood was spilled
If there’s no hate, then there’s no love
If there’s no hell, there’s no heaven above
The same pattern seen repeated here
Do you get it yet? It’s all so clear
That if there’s no you, then there’s no me
So stay, don’t go, for this I plea
Take one step, and I’ll be no more –
Don’t come back, you were so sure
And don’t regret, cause you chose this
You’re not someone I’m going to miss
Oh, that’s a lie, but I don’t care
It was just a silly love affair
But if there’s no pain, then there’s no gain
I’ve walked all year through the pouring rain
Finally now, I see the sun
Back then I lost, but now I’ve won

i struggle to dam an ocean but it presses up against the walls until they crack
and salt erodes my twisted face
the room blinks faster but the water won't stop rushing down
flooding this closed off space that doesn't belong to me
i block off my mouth against the tide of the sound that will
inevitably shake its way loose from my anchored chest
but i can't block off my mind against the tide of thought that will inevitably shake its way loose from my anchored head

water boils faster when salt is added
i struggle to dam an ocean but it presses up against the walls until they crack
and fog rolls into my eyes from the darkened shore
the scorching sunlight rises in my cracking chest
i open my mouth and the gulls cry
unintelligibly
they circle and they circle
their screams ringing, echoing, fading unnoticed

i reach out for something, anything to keep from being dragged away by the tide but find only sand slipping between my fingers and under my nails and salt in my eyes
and in my mouth
and in my throat
and in my lungs
and then there is only night

Trying
Is the purgatory
In the juxtaposition
Of doing
And not

Oh wind,
You are a fickle thing,
You bring tidings of a chill
That can be resolution, absolution
Or anything in between.

Oh wind,
You are a gracious host,
Whose cruelty is unmatched
In your gift of mirth and hope.
Your wildest gusts are mild
To the coldest misanthrope.

Maybe my writing
Will improve
When strewn over
Blue lined graph paper,
Tiny boxes,
Coaxing out order,
Perhaps even
Clarifying boundaries
Between crazed truth,
And detrimental lies.

The grid putting
Poem in context,
Poem like graph,
Displaying
Levels of THC
Depression
Number of Kisses
Tears Cried
Outliers of secrets uttered.
Box and whisker plot
Displaying anxiety,
Skewed data toward extremes.

No.
Linear writing would
Reveal the chaos inside.
I can't fit the poems
To the squares.
A graph can't really cry
The way a person can.
There's a losing feeling
Etched in pen
On a harshly graded
Parcel of mathematical quizzing
That a poem has no place to
Instill in me.

And no one would
Be able to read my work
The way they tell you to show it.
My poems have no color coding.
Definition between data
Becomes hazy as
Layers of black are added
In empty,
All encompassing anger.
And I smoke while I write tonight,
Haze growing,
Lines wobbled,
And I may have put a poem
On a piece of graph paper
But it's nothing like the math homework
That stays in my backpack.

Flowers glowed-
Juxtaposed behind
Glowing end of cigarette.
They glowed with vibrance,
The cigarette looked dead.
The holder looked
Somewhere in between.
Bland slated eyes
Livened with churning nicotine,
Heart speeding
In context of
Present company.
He held the cigarette
Delicately,
A union
With lips
Leaving chills
To smolder up from her feet and
Out from spine.
The air was cold
But she looked at the smoke
Knowing the heat
In his body was close
Enough
To fable heat in her own body
And test morals.
She was watching his lips too much
And broke her gaze away,
Directing eyes
To watch the flowers.
They angered in red,
Disappointed they hadn't
Held her eyes completely.
But she massaged their petals,
Scrutiny turning up satisfied
As it danced along the lines.
His smoke hazed the lines and she couldn't help but look back
At his eyes,
His mouth,
And listened still
As he murmured words
That hardly glowed at all.