jealousy is the root of evil,
once felt, there is no retrieval.

step up
your *******
game.

i can see
through the
jealousy
that you
hide inside
of your heart.

don't you dare
get mad
at me,
for your envy
is as ugly
as your
egoistic bruise.

i won't
hesitate to
switch things up,
you underground,
with me
up above.

I put up curtains
So the sun couldn’t seep in
To hide the fact
That my pain was slowly leakin
Bleeding out
Felt like I had nothin to believe in
Opened up
And got kicked in the teeth when
I only had love
But soon jealousy would sneak in
We tried to front
But our hearts were only seekin
Custody of love in its entirety
And not just on the weekends  

And though we had it
It was laced with irony
Because love will slowly morph
Into a monster that tries to swallow me
And it’s not under the bed
Like they say in the movies
This **** lives in my head
And tries to control me
Like a puppet to its master
I feel strings at my throat
Because my emotions are always faster
Than I can cut the ropes

I’m a hopeless romantic too
In this wicked wild game
Which makes it hard for me to part ways with you
Because I feel this overwhelming shame

Because I’m mostly hopeless
When it comes to love affairs
Let the romantic slip my grip
When I feel like you don’t care

All I want is to know you love me
And to always prove I love you too
Because if you’re my reckless decision
I’ll always continue to choose you

Like a drug
You’re my strange addiction
I’m in constant need of you
A prisoner to loves conviction
Too blind to see the truth
That I’m not that wise
I’m infected by my youth
But I have to survive
And what else can I do?
But fight to stay high
And keep acting aloof

Here’s the proof

I once said ignorance is bliss
Until I learned the hardest lesson
That There’s love in every kiss
You can save the vague confessions
And there it is again
It’s slowly creepin in
The jealousy that takes my words
And slides out from my pen

I suppose thats my fatal flaw
Which adds development to the character
So I should be real evolved
Because I’m full of flaws and failure

Yet I try to give my all
In everything I do
But I always hit a wall
Wandering Far into the blue  
Lost Looking at the stars
To tell me what to do

It’s the only place that ever feels  like home
I Can look up at the sky at night
And not feel so alone
So i wonder if the constellations
Can give me a consolidation
On the humiliation,
of my constant reconciliation
With my own temptation
Think I love living in damnation

I’m never patient

Remember I said emotions rule my world
twisting and turning my thoughts
Watch them twirl
Might give em a whirl
While they swirl
Out of my brain
In the form of rambling words
Maniac is the strain
Roll it up and lick the wrap
Spark it up and smoke that


Expand and deflate
My lungs are irate
Might choke up on the sentiment
And start to suffocate
Cause thoughts can be killers
They’ll cut the brakes too
When your mind is going 100
And there’s nothing you can do
Heading straight into traffic
Your heart will start to race
And you quickly start to panic
Now it’s terror on your face

Hear the glass around you shatter
Feel it digging deep within
Now the thoughts that never mattered
Are carved into your skin

Tear drops turn to Whiskey
They fall so fast these days
Please tell me that you miss me
To help and ease the pain

What’s this feeling?
The pressure upon my chest, pushing me down
Its
s    u    f     f    o    c    a    t   i    n   g
And I don’t know why.
Is it because of them?
Whom I to point the finger to this time?
I feel a boiling in my stomach at these
thoughts.
Why did it ache so much?
There must be something awry in my brain.
This sense of dread
This lingering loneliness.
But what is this feeling..?
It aches through my bones
through my pours and through my
f   l   e   s   h
Like a thousand knives ripping through my
entire being.
This sickness rising in my chest,
burning in my ribcage and setting my soul ablaze.
But for what reason?
What else could selfish me possibly wish to bargain for?
Please just tell me, dear friend
What is this feeling?

You're a monster

Grotesque and ravenous
clawing your way through my guts and into my stomach
ripping up my throat and out my mouth as gritted teeth and pointed curses

You're disgusting

Plaguing my flesh like a disease
rotting my skin slowly
decaying inside me before leaking out my eyes

Why are you even here?

To add insult to injury?

I've met you once before
two years ago oh so sweetly you came to me bearing fruits of lace and jewel
creeping up on me as death does to the meek

You're a sickness

Painful and dreary
get away from me and stay away I beg
but somehow you always come back like a hungry dog
again to shred away at my well being

Why are you here?

Back again so soon, Jealousy?

what ***** is
the overwhelming feelings
that i cannot seem to control

chemical imbalance
i cannot seem to get a grasp on this

seeing those
the better ones
always hurts
because I’ll never see in myself
what i can in others

on occasion i may see a glimpse of careless being
never truly believing what i think

i rather show you the pain i feel
as i tear away at your veins
hollowing out your psyche
to wear your face

i can finally be beautiful
just like you