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Max Neumann Dec 2019
true inspiration is hard to
find since inspiration will
find you

don't you sleep ever again; you
could miss something
a DEEP attachment... check out youtube: OFFICIAL Somewhere over the Rainbow - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole
Top notch legal scholar Erin Go Braw
     (less concerned about being fair versus
     abominable, irrevocable, and execrable
     unforgivable oversight most holy "M" & *****)

cabinet of high priests,
     sans spelling chieftains ready to claw
your person to bits,
     and they presage remote clemency

     which decision told, when Jeff Sessions
     decides final punishment to draw
now, (see excerpted lines
     visited with glaring flaw

"Benediction For Lord Apple Macintosh"
     where ...bot sized wetbacks, setbacks,
     and drawbacks, required a secret char),...
     intimates a "hee haw"

and rock'm n sock'm pull no punches
     square at yar triangular jaw
YES, on account misspelling,
     whence Grammarian Jude Law

at the least aims (to topple a prospective
     title of eminence grise), banning access
     to such undeserved
     catbird seat, sans Rhetorical perch

laughing while ja plaintively call for maw
**** Oxford English Dictionary - but naw
can do, and hence paw
mister trumpeting

     "FAKE" wordsmith raw
flesh will turn into....
unreadable print until closing text
that elaborates how holiness felt vexed.

To ye (a freshly minted scalawag),
     these 20/20 eyes bulged agog
while steaming with invective
     at what attempted

     to pass as sacred poetic blog
when thee (Matthew Scott Harris),
     now pronounced, an illiterate,
     immoderate, and inveterate å!@#$%∑

with a severe cerebral clog
(meaning prefrontal lobotomy
     not out of the question),
      you m~r mangy whelp of a she dog
     (my humble apologies to canines),

less deserving than being
     whipped near death's doorstep flog
after henchmen (strongly
     resembling Alaskan BullWorms
     guarding this royal hutch,
     herein Cupertino, California.
Today the Sunday special brief
     iCloud online worship session, I did attend
(via remote support)
     found me feeling pampered,

     when adept technical support
     didst figuratively bend
over backwards, thus aye defend
glorious, righteous,

     and zealous Gurus who did expend
their religious fervor, without proselytizing
and sanctified dedication they proffered
     as if this secular chap hapt tubby

     a long time Facebook friend
diligently persevered amidst
     my woeful yelping alarm
where bot sized wetbacks, setbacks,

     and drawbacks,
     required a secret char
which this netizen vaguely understood
     as unfair be-tidings disallowing

     thyself to purchase additional farm
ming out iCloud storage
     in the deleterious harm
akin to buggy ah mush swarm

comprised documents
     (painstakingly slaved over with zest)
plus sundry data necessitating mooch ***
     legal tender (probably every

     last red cent of mine) to in vest
concerted efforts of
     at least one expert to test
her/his mettle in an attempt

     (dim prospect) performing an in quest
to retrieve valuable data lost amidst a nest
of inaccessible "lost" information
     (bantering with computer

     jargon more so jest
with no intention to "FAKE"
     trumpeting minimal knowledge
     judiciously impressed

upon thine fifty plus
     shades of gray matter, at my be hest
expressing scant cumulative
     disc cussing duff frag

     minted understanding lest,
a personal goal
     to incapsulate in poetic best
not abandoning frustration
     with this Macbook Pro
cuz, positive experience
     wrought with Apostles eye attest,

so rather then vent
     my spleen in vein
hie desisted
     to rage against the machine,
     and tack toward being urbane

thus, rejoicing with a cherry,
     hearty, and mighty byte hooray,
     asper driving,
     exercising, and foisting

     gentle circuitry vis a vis
neurotransmitters and neuromodulators
     nudging pull-ups
     within cerebral terrain.
Kate ***** and Anthony Bourdain
both beloved affluential cognoscenti,
     (took their life via cerebral hypoxia)
     neither death can one explain

left family and friends to speculate
     without lapsing into speculation
     impossible knot
     to veer off toward inane,

where fame nor fortune no immunity
     against unbeknownst
     deathly accursed mental illness
     impact their adherents

     plus affect large swath
     of population in the main
cuz, (strictly my opinion)
     the tightly woven

     world wide web doth plain
lee meld humanity linkedin
     by avast societal reign
forcing the global community to train

energies toward heightened
     awareness (yes in vain)
for those who tightened noose around neck
     as grief doth wax and wane

no doubt less prominant persons
     amidst every walk
of life give admittance
     to grim reaper, who doth stalk

every mortal being tempting surrender soul
     for eternal peace, where soul asylum
     sacrifice forsaken to black hawk
swooping down soundlessly

     to ****** priceless human life
     subsequently, whence
     benumbed onlookers gawk
aware how precarious, riotous, and tenuous
     the psyche offers no resistance,
     nor doth balk

at absent awareness,
     how collective adoration wears
a funereally ghostly, horribly immensely
     joylessly knitted veil

eludes measurement, though nonetheless
     unanimity that far reaching sadness
     weighs heavy on tear filled side of scale
witnessed by grievous next of kin,

     who struggle to accept severe de rail
ment of unsuspecting hidden agony im pail
ling corporeal flesh gouging body electric
     on par with a nine inch nail

jaggedly renting asunder (an unseen male
strum) pitching one incognito,
     no matter she/he appears hearty and hale
leaving a wake of inconsolable paroxysms
     causing thee human league to ail!
no emotionally ecstatic experience compares
   to the seminal instance
   whence spermatozoa
   (from profuse *******) beget

the miraculous propensity
   to procreate despite the steep odds
   female fertility fosters potential impregnation
   fusing the hereditary debt

of feral, fiery, fomenting friskiness
   fueling fancy free footloose fornication
   prior to seminal fertilization union
   sans ova doth induce fret
full ness in tandem with

   diametrically opposed exultant sensations
   (biologically, embryonically, microscopically,
   et cetera) seismic shocks inject  
when deliberate intent arises to disregard

   applying prophylactics choice
   plying reproductive roulette let
which analogous fruitful uterine plain
   bastes the "cooking" egg omelette  

which impregnation upends cessation of "self"
   first and foremost asper desire to breed
wrenching role of "me" as operative
   of webbed world de jure upon
   consummating that most miraculous deed

necessitating yet for the fecund female relief
   from messy menstrual cycle
   she becomes temporarily freed
that perhaps a novitiate (or even a gal practiced
   in the euphoric family, she instinctually
   abides prenatal signals that heed

without feeling debased, harangued, lectured
   pedagogical, polemical, puritanical, et cetera blast
assessing copulation enjoyed gloriously,
   ineluctably, kinesthetically
   lectured by elder, especially cast

in thee reel life drama, that nine months
   til offspring utters initial whimper
   elapses exceptionally fast
emitting a radiant golden halo wishing

   to bottle confluence of hormonal secretions last
ideally fully awake to the birthing process,
   when juiced the first stage of maternity past
cuz every moment thee inconsolably

   (perhaps colicky infant)
   gets first dibs to suckle,
   which round the clock nursing
   consumes moments many vast.
women that tip weigh ling needle to spin vicious circle
     akin to puppy chasing her/his tail
     or require digital scale,
at the extreme alt right registering heavy loads  
     whether young or old ought to appreciated

     as waifer thin self starved as a rail,
instead they suffer unfair injustice
     like a trapped quivering quail
thus this fatalistic, generic,
     and holistic landlubber
     wanted to point head lee
     hammer home one secure
     heterosexual ******* stronger than

     omnipotent Marcy's Playground
     weather beaten pail
     Trent Reznor's sixty 9 inch rust free steel nail
into the coffin of bias
     against bevy of beautiful babes
     within the mind of this male,
who inherited genetic predisposition
     for being average, hearty and hale

yet feel compassion for those engaged
     in an ongoing with battle of the bulge,
     hmm... perhaps hiding ample *****
     akin to milky sopping wet grail

or accepted unequivocally themselves
     without envy of lithesome women,
     who seem to possess flair with nary a flail
     yet possess much love to avail,

and tis wise to love oneself unconditionally
     despite premium aesthetics considered svelte
which mass media accentuates de facto spelt
definition of femininity aka runway models
     donned in faux animal pelt
whose deliberate self exhibition
     prompts madding crowd of man

     to waggle tongue with slack jaws
     as if ready to melt
or at instantaneous signal telepathically felt
drop drawers upon removing blackbelt.
many a december twenty forth gone by,
   whence wisp of carolers ghosts hauntingly adorn
remembrance of sum...
   er things passed along tummy
   from ma late ma alm

   compunction eruption viz:
fruition, gumption interruption
   sans redemption how became re: born
whereby this pop -
   bleary eye lids ready to droop

   with his tired bones snapping
   and popping like jimmy crack corn
an immediate need to succumb to sleep
   found me transfixed how blessings did a dorn
mine attention riveted at shrouded foghorn
echoing...choing...hoing

   never knowing hands of time didst flap
matthew scott harris,
   who yawned avast cingular gap
countless decades swallowed un hap
pulley lost soul within early
   twenty something years

   devoid of inner GPS to help map
and guide this stricken n fore lorn future pap
though the hour
   (at time this got written) nsync kin rap
pa head lee well nigh

   closing in on six in the morn
   way before synapses snap
crackle and pop,
   whereby the sage within mine psyche

   waving a finger - tsk tsk - with mild scorn
for forgoing to bed, yet...
   a powerful tsunami like force arose up
   when viewing the account of how tara - blank -
   became rent asunder and torn
from an terrible accident of fate -
   though a miraculous recovery now worn.

now fast forward to recent past
receding extremely fast
as if powered by remnant cosmic blast
resulting in avast

blurred montage flickr ring
   exercise regimen of running plus lifting weights -
   perhaps so many reps of a curl
finds me applauding, huzzahing,
   and praising daughter's efforts...so you go girl

with all inner strength pell mell into fitness:
   disciplining molding, sculpting- yar body hurl
   testing your limits to the max
   whether across busy urban streets or...
   where landscape offers open space with pearl
jam skies - in outlying less populated tracts -
   giving freedom to dance n twirl.

ye r so lucky tubby alive
cuz immediate family, friends, relatives
   and now...this strange papa gives u high five
without asking anything in return -
   since inspiration courses thru me

   inducing thyself to strive
and/ or if when fate decrees,
   thee will make an awesome counterpart
   who this older papa bloke would envy
   as ye possess inxs of strength to re:vive.
----------------------------------
blessing for sound health

upon waking every morning I offer
silent benediction for the ability
to revel with full faculty of this aging body
still going strong where ability sans,

enjoying the simple pleasures
available thru ****** senses
plus cavorting, flirting,
identifying simple pleasures
in my nonsensical mien "inner child"

Woolworth more than money can buy
yet of course if I did happen
to be a lucky lottery winner
could definitely relief anxiety and allow
me to breathe easy yet,
never do justice pitted against robust
body, mind and spirit triage.
an average of 2,830 cubic meters

per second of rich silt

forms an alluvial plain

spreads outward in a fan shape


from sedimentary deposit whereby

ancient Egyptian civilizations got built

adorning arid topography invaluable

like aorta pumping blood at the nape

of the neck, yet analogous context


engendered engineering feats without guilt

whereby artisans, craftsmen,

early geographers illustrated in frieze and drape

frozen timeless statuary exhibiting

phenomenal abilities to the hilt


associated from mainspring within

fertile crescent swollen like a plump grape

which longest river often overflows

banks whereby coveted materiel gets spilt


feeding the rift valley and allowing,

enabling and providing peoples to dominate

flooding the history of mankind

with accomplishments that marvel even today

epitomized by innovations -


alphabets, wheelwrights, pyramids, etc lives did create

baffling historians how each mortise and tenon

snug as a bug in a rug mortise and tenon block

construed edifices persons did intricately lay


perfect with near geometric exactitude

ranks as wonder of webbed wide world great

faint hints of daily trials and tribulations

recorded for posterity in clay

or shards of broken pottery pieced together

coupling revelations a mosaic plate

which functional artifacts

provided dietary staples

to pagan spirits populace did pray.
Dune not be bashful, grumpy, leery
   or any other contemporary dwarf man
even countless less well known dwarves
   (that never got a chance
   to play a bit part) such as wham

bam
thank you ma'am
linkedin with emergence
   of Internet and poetry slam
opportunities availed by Uncle Sam

which characters (albeit fiction)
   nonetheless, helped spawn a quiet yet free
   global, radically riotous,
   totally tubular transformation

   affecting a societal and human specie
but not credited contributing
   to paradigm seismic shift that garnered tree
mend us plenti fully birthed,
   impacted and transformed how wii

(more particularly many gifted minds)
   bridged geographical distance
(encompassing all four corners
   of the Earth) to enhance

what came to be called the world wide web,
   digital strong armed lance
information super high,  "Cyber Revolution",
   etc allowing  one to prance

and essentially transcend reality to brook
   commanding, commingling, communicating, hook
   line and sinker, et cetera
   with an excellent access and out look
reaching the most distant cranny and nook.

This (bit a bing chitty bang)
   manifestation toward
exponentially faster processing capacities
   more powerful than pen or sword
(based on principles of Moore’s Law), reward
electronically solidifying
   binary unification swiftly tail lord

engenders greater dependence and reliance
   figuratively shrinking the drinking gourd
allowing far flung aliens, family,
   friends, et cetera to ford

great distances via sophisticated electronics
   courtesy of super smart mother board
enabling ever more complex
   electronic contrivances
   the generic **** Sapien gibbon could afford.

Analogous to Medieval Age
this quiet ***** riot creation
   vis a vis Internet did un cage
actual overcoming physical barriers
   ushered Hall mark gauge
marked by Computer/Digital Age odyssey),

   especially sharing pixillated page
at light speed, where the ordinary individual
   could keep in contact )
   albeit with every now and again
   a bit torrent rage

and in some instances tapping
   smarts of a preschooler considered a sage
which kindergarten lad/lass
   commandeered a handsome wage

whereat the parental figure did cajole, wheedle or beg
their wealthy progeny promising
   son/ daughter of a healthy nest egg
stored money in Swiss bank accounts or hollow leg
perhaps christened jpeg
or if an avid weekly reader of Moby **** Queequeg

who felt incorporeal storied power
   of Herman Melville as zen unseen aid
instructing hypothetic rich kid to drop out of school
   before his/her first grade
coz of all the money he/she made

which affected modus operandi rendered obsolete
   child worker laws
   and no sweat of brow getting paid
people used bitcoin (or other online currency)
   additionally making purchases
   with scant keystrokes to complete a trade.

As with any major dramatically novel scheme
light bulb idea scribbled on napkin
   scrap of paper
   via cheesy or whipped cream
originating as a flash in the pan
   aha eureka moment, or dream

as rough blue print subsequently
   underwent beta testing,
   before declaring pc innovation supreme
whereby outstanding persons in the tech industry
   clamored to join Kidde team.

Whether seventh day add vent
   hissed or other religious creed
powerful binary processing
   impacted near
   earth shaking incarnation indeed
and ramifications in all walks
   and talks of life sought expert need.

Coven chanting children murmured Luddites be ******!

Thus spake Zarathustra (cue the opening scene
from Planet of the Apes)
   upon witnessing as if king or queen
(in reality father or mother)
   didst get immediately

   dethroned thus, increasing mean
average positive
   effects on society, especially lean
microchip i.e. integrated circuitry

   miniaturization "green"
technology (and eventual
   attendant affordable price)
   viz said trappings

   unleashed upon global market
   invited absolute zero dust, a must clean
as a whistle work space,
   and manufacturers laboratory be microbe free
   hermetically sealed vacuumed "clean".

Countless portable machines
   unbeknownst soon epithet florid hack
   coining impromptu called cyber crime
especially as majority proportion of population
   didst purchase these dime,

a doze in countless "end users"
   snapped up these smart machines
   excitedly keyed away indifferent to gunk
on unwashed hands
   plus bits of food particles

   eventually caking hardware with grime
(eventually necessitating technician
   charging gobs of moolah
   sans to unstitch in time.

Gooey glop getting suctioned out
   technicians venting expletives
   emphasized obvious
   NO FOOD OR DRINK rule to abide
cuz suctioning tower

   or laptop presented vulnerability
   plus unforeseen downfall against fried
food and greasy hands ended up hide
ding in hardest to reach locale
   on circuit board no matter how expert pried

yelling out gratitude
   to geek squad member helping
   before he/she went out side door
eagerly awaiting

   remotely controlled self driving vehicle
   transporting techie guru home
   to an obscure gated destination,
   an uninterrupted distant, yet pleasant ride.

eventually amateurs encouraged
   to tinker like an apprenticed tailor
   akin as raw troubleshooting recruit
   oft playfully feigned to be soldier spy

pretending to repair bowel of computer
   when in truth visiting supposed shadowing dark side
   which lined illegal benefits of labor saving devices),
the sound of silence
(written on the subway walls)

though heretics opposing
   latest technology and felt sinister chill
(just ask Punxsutawney Phil),
the Internet ranks as greatest dog sent rill

lee where wiz kids ranked
   chatting killer apps with grateful dead
   information superhighway as heavenly manna
   with artificial intelligence street cred
since introduction of white bread
and powdered milk biscuits baked by Ahmed.
Life as a high school wallflower served me
without any budding female friendships
until lo…
a gent tulle mandate from my late mother uprooted me
from mine kempf familiar bedrock level road terrain
which venue offered a groundswell
to blossom forth into golden sterling resplendent rod

of natural equipoise (this an unbiased opinion) and balance
with freestyle improvisational swinging motions
unchained from the moors of formality
and lit figurative saint elmo’s sesame street fiery dance

allowing, enabling and providing this shy awkward self
during his young adulthood
to cast away four ever
thy self embroidered handsome

straight as an arrow
naturally high as a kite young guy
buzzing like a yellow jacket
thus liberating spontaneity that je nais sais quoi joie vivre

clamoring headlong toward venus
from healthy pistil packing overflowing bin
laden well nigh testosterone erupting *****
toward opposite gender

whereby bravado donned as key
to *** field of whet dreams
fostering initial albeit late blooming
roll in the hay hormonally rooted rutting squeal!
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