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Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2021
I do not know what is wrong with me
But I have a problem clear to see
When attempting to smile my muscles won't move
Like sorrow is a splinter I cannot remove
Sadness an infestation sprouting from seeds
Spreading throughout soul with greater speed than that of weeds
Roots reaching furthest depths of my ragged reality so dark
Squeezing skull so tightly it leaves a permanent mark
Scars nothing new to me
Wear them with pride
Whether on surface or invisible inside
I am aware of imperfections
Count them one by one
Internal self-critique is a cycle that is never done
There are always mistakes to look back on and regret
Unrealistic expectations too high to ever be met
At night lie awake
Unable to find sleep
Haunted by promises failed to keep
The sight of photographs on my bedside table
Makes atoms in my flesh excited and unstable
Igniting flames
Stoking intense yearning
Enticing while simultaneously burning
Pleasures forever lost echo in my head
Beyond my grasp are words you once said
Clutching pieces of past so tightly my hands start bleeding
It's the shattered fragments and broken bits I'm needing
Your presence rendered life beautiful on our hardest days
Can't help but wince when I hear the word "always"
Time after time you have shown your love to be only lies
Only have myself to blame for being taken by surprise
I was an easy target
In line of fire
Lured me where you wanted with powerful desire
I was a pawn for you to manipulate
Took advantage of fact for you I could never feel hate
Regardless of how bad you hurt me to your embrace I'll always return
Victim to games countless occasions because I never learn
I suppose had it coming after all that we've been through
Traveled all the way to hell for you and back again too
I've tried everything could think of to make mistakes right
Still threw them in my face each and every night
I ponder if our relationship meant anything to you at all
If the years we spent together to you were insignificant and small
It's difficult to accept you are happier without me there
Try to chart a new course but each direction leads nowhere
Perhaps I should teach myself how to survive alone
Have it as MY choice not answering the telephone
When it comes to you it's not possible to win because I'm weak
I don't stand a chance against the silky smooth words you speak
I watch you through a screen wishing that I was where you are
Sigh because distance separating us is way too far
You moved on and left me reeling struggling to understand why
I'll get by without your touch
Missing you silently until I die
I got more issues than a magazine rack!
Robert Guerrero Mar 2021
I'm so passed overthinking
My overthinking over thinks
The thinking I'm overthinking
To the point I'm thinking over
What's over thought and I thought
I was over this
Just didn't think it over enough
dilemma dilemma
yeap
Hold on we're in for a bumpy ride
Airwaves collide
I'm pretty sure we've been here before
I'm confused
What was the thought
Somewhere amongst this chaos
I forgot the original thought
Now I'm overthinking
A thought that can't be found
Wait wait
Oh yes I remember now
The thought was simply
Peanut butter or jelly
On the last piece of toast
So both
Or one
But which
Rock
Paper
Scissors
How do I answer this
It's an impossible equation
1+1 is good
1+the other is good
1+2 makes 1
But I wanted to share it with you
So now there's not enough
Either way
So what do you prefer
Before my brain cells implode
Giving up on the hope
I'll ever make a decision
That will justify the reason
Why I'm overthinking
What to feed you for breakfast in bed
Maybe just coffee...
Wait which brand?
How strong?
More or less sugar?
Too much creamer!
**** it I'm going to work
Everything *****
When over-thought thoughts
Become thoughts we've been over
Overthinking themselves
Into non-existence
And I forget how
I started this conversation with myself
Or what it no longer pertains to
What was I talking about again?
Oh yeah do I have everything
What did I forget
Wallet
Keys
Phone
Socks
Shoes
Pants
Shirt
Necklace
Hat
30 minutes later it'll remind me
I woke up hungry
Couldn't decide what to feed myself
It's too late, I'm late for work
My daily life as an overthinker.
Blank Mar 2021
Remember when I told you I wanted to marry someone just like you?

How young and naive I was then

You were my idol and someone whom I trusted so deeply

Everything that was cruel and unkind stared me straight in the eyes but still I couldn't see it

I was blinded by trust and the hope that the person I loved would be there tomorrow even if he wasn't here today

I adopted your philosophies and your interests in a desperate attempt to be seen and favored

Your word and your opinion had all the power in the world to shape who I was and how I would think

But I'm not your favorite anymore, am I?
No one is

I'm no longer useful now that I have gained the ability to think for myself

My interests were never something you cared about as long as they didn't benefit you

The only thing that matters to you is drowning your shame until the person I love is unrecognizable

Marry someone like you?
I don't even want to be like you.
It's sad boi hours.
Em Mar 2021
Down the street the old man cried,

“let me sleep! i’ve got nothing to hide!”

but the thieves and the mold care not for such things

as they burned and they burned

and they burned



Wrinkled ladies in oversized rings

yelled out their price for the prisoner’s things

“settle down, settle down, there’s more where this came from.”

as they smiled and they smiled

and they smiled



The youth shiver below, crude laughter in the sky

fear overdosing on their tongues like a chalky vice

cold hands, cold heads, staining memories, red ink on shoes

as they crumbled and they crumbled

and they crumbled



The marching of shadows shambled in the light

“roll up, roll up! lucky winner hold tight!”

slave to the mechanical beating heart of powders and liquids and glittering heat

as they fell and they fell

and they fell



Wriggling corpses build their huts along the naked land

stumbling past crowded bones as they long played their hand

“mercy, mercy, our children starve!”

as they withered and they withered

and they withered



The earth spins off its ruptured axis

flinging it’s occupants in a human crisis

the old moose groans and the silver trees splinter

as they sank and they sank

and they sank



Life seems forever as decay eats decay

as adults never seem to turn tomorrow into today

the only mark of the living left like pressed flowers in a crumbling world

as we wept and we wept

and we wept



People in straight suits say ignorance is bliss

well ignorance made me a ****** kid

i’ll tell you

i’ll let you

in on a little secret

misery is a card you don’t want to play

and death is a dept you don’t want to pay



The 15th, 16th, 17th century

the 21st

the ******* 100th

round and round

over and over

pushing time again and again



Oh the lessons are never learnt

and the punishments are always served

and the only ones left in it all

are corporate businesses who

sweep the ice cubes under the fridge



Oh we’ll suffer

oh we’ll cry

oh we’ll tumble and grumble until we all die



But the world will keep turning

and the mistakes keep churning

until we are left with no more
what a world we live in
Em Mar 2021
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty thought he was clever and all
So bit by bit he stacked his bricks
And built it two hundred feet tall

Swinging his legs
And nodding his head
He looked down from the top
At small puckered wells
And small tuckered hills
Of the villagers all around him

And so time flew by
And his wall grew high
And higher
And higher
And in the heathens
As he touched the heavens
He cried, “Look up, bow to me!”

And so he went

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king’s horses
And all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty
Back together again

But children,
Don’t be sad

But children,
Don’t be sorry

For that night the men swung their picks
And the women scraped off the concrete
And the children stole the bricks
One by little one
Till all that was left to his memory
Was the flat crown of the ground

Besides, the bricks weren’t really his, anyways
Em Mar 2021
Oh, Mother.
Don't you know it's instant gratification?
You're angry, taking it out on one you "love"
Object to it, and the anger is redirected.

Grab it. Force it back.
It's never enough, is it?
I could take more, but I won't.
"You've proven again and again
You're not worthy of my time."
I'm not like you.
I won't take the ******* handed to me.
i have mommy issues
She sits on the cold tile floor
Her life flashes before her eyes
4 am regrets.

The lack of sleep is just getting to her.

The shadows loom over the curtains
The pictures of her past start collapsing on the floor
Her head hits the back of the wooden bed panel

Could you wish for anything more unhanded?

The music from the neighbors flat echoes into the night
The barely visible drawings on the wall sneer at her
Its past her bedtime.

Who are you waiting up for anymore?

The ringing in her ears grow louder
The hours pass by slipping through the cracks of the drain.
Who are you crying to anymore?

There is no one to confess to.

The mirror overshadows the bed like church pews at midnight
She tells her that she never loved her.
She disappeared into the clouds that loom over the moon.

Her watch tells her to sleep.

She sighs and climbs back into bed
She remembers that she never loved her.
She remembers the scars that trail along her back.

Her life cannot help but flash before her eyes.

The ceiling morphs and twists
Her eyes flutter shut as her mind plays its tricks
She caresses the scars that itch at the roots of her hair.

Maybe its better this way for everyone.

She can no longer hear the heart beating slowly in the closet
Her mother told her that she is worthless
She begs for the sleep to take her.
Before her mind starts wandering to that point.

The darkness feels cool against her skin
The crooked mattress settling in its place
She sleeps on her side to avoid the bedroom mirror
The world grows still around her as it walks

on ******* eggshells.

The dawn permeates through the broken window sill
She never was a heavy sleeper.
She went missing out of nowhere
The ringing of her phone echoed in her ears

like Sunday bells.

And there was no more trace of the former shadows that pitifully gazed at her in the corners of her room.

-Kore
yoOOu never loved me moooooooom but i needed you woaAaah
Haze Feb 2021
Sunlight
Voices, speaking
Chit-chat and distant quarreling
My dogs ecstatic
To see and smell me-
I was awake.

Scattered and overwhelming thoughts
I usually never have time for them;
I allow a thought for a minute or two
Breathing in slowly,
Bathing in them deeply
Bittersweet, in confrontation and in fear.

A pass of split-second; and
I let it go
Absent any resolve,
Awake.

I make myself a glass of water
Neither warm nor cold
My blank canvas for the day
A longing for its neutral calmness
It is only in that first glass that I taste the pure
Calm.

When my soul's just half awake
The colors at its brightest
The wind at its lightest
My heart at its quietest
It was the only time apart from slumber
That my mind finds genuine rest

I only had a glass.
When we wake up, what happens?

This is the first poem I've ever written; almost a year ago to be exact.
Any feedback will be very much appreciated, thanks!
Void Feb 2021
I don't get why you always hate me
Its driving me insane
The way you always feel the need to berate me
I feel anger I can't contain
So much for friend
So much for family
Those titles to you mean nothing
You're just projecting
And I'm a walking target for you
But I'm used to being treated like ****
I'm tired of this
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