For a moment we’re in perfect harmony.
There is no fear. No worry.
Finding purpose in each other.
Whether the shadows creep through the night.
Or the sun lives out loud during the day.
There is but a moment
Followed by an embrace, then a click.


Unlocking parts of you that I only anticipate.
Though circumstances may vary.
This moment I relive, even away from you.
The way that you sigh, the way that you
Twist and the way that you turn.
No matter where I’ve been.
You tumble then you click for all to hear.


A sigh released into forever.
Echoing down its hallway.
No matter how tight you squeeze.
I am here.
No matter how stubborn you may become.
I am here.
Until the day I no longer exist.


No matter how many hands I may pass through.
I can never replace the way that you hold me.

I can be a wretched fake, in private, intimate performance.

I’m an actress capable of imitating spontaneous pleasure -
by tricks of hesitation, convulsive vocal play and postures.

A mimicry undetectable to an immediate spectator.

"Aww, thank you", I’ll sigh, as if leaving a good party.

“I’ve got a lot of homework to do,” I’ll add, a minute later.

To clear the stage.

an accidental intimacy is committed
between the right-now me
and the me-a-few-minutes-ago
as i slip onto my body,
(made cold by the air of the room,)
the warmest shirt i have ever felt,
soft and hot with the heat of
my own body
that i had already forgotten.

two me's converge, here.
i wrap my arms around myself.

i forgive my old self for all he has done to me
yesterday
because look what he would do for me
today,
he would keep himself warm
so that one day he would be cold
so that one day i could pick this hot shirt up
and wear it.

we waltz, we dance,
until the heat calms under the fan,
and then we are just one man
and i catch myself missing him.

Intimacy is not physicality.
Intimacy takes heartfuls of risky honesty.
Its essence is vulnerability -
an ability to offer the key to deep dignity
and entrust it by degree or in its entirety.

And listen carefully:
It's not limited to matrimony.
It's a delicacy available to anybody
and without it friendship is hollow
and fully half empty.

Falling sound asleep
Your fingers tickle me
I look at you with glassy eyes
You look at me with fire

Soft murmurs carry me
Up into the clouds
And so myself starts to wonder—
Could this really be love?

I see you
in the steam
I know
you’re not waiting
for me
And it breaks
my heart
And I don’t
understand

I feel you
getting close
I wish I could
trustingly know
what you see
when you stare
head on
Are you thinking
of me?
Or would it break
my heart?
I just don’t
understand

I hear you-
all the lies
you’ve said
to me
hang on
to your every
word
until it breaks
my heart
Do you
understand?

You touched my soul
The intimate of all intimates
And burned away all the sorrow
As well as the pain and misery.
All emotions that ate away my delight of life
Were replaced with the foundation of you
It was like seeing in colour for the first time
And feeling the wind run its fingers through my whole body
It invaded my whole self
As you enlightened all that I was.

in his limbs i find penance

when he pins me down
                                                     its my mothers hands around my throat
begging
                 for sounds i won’t make
                                                                 praying
                                                                ­                     to be allowed silence  
when we join i know
                                         i hate him  
after we part
                                                              i hate myself

                            solace in the steamed bathroom mirror
                                    hiding the sin from the sinner  
the
        salt
                   of
                          his
                                   pleasure
the
        salt
                   of
                          my
                                   pain
                                                                      washed off together as though
equal

                                                        but

her limbs are absolution  
                                                    ­                                 seek and ye shall find
i am forgiven between her thighs
                                                                               on earth as it is in heaven
the prayer on my tongue meets god
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                her gasp Amen