17 | 31 Poems for August 2016

I understand the fact that I am not always easy to understand.
Loving me is complicated and maybe that’s the beauty of it all.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So I always thought that someone would be able to show me how.
“You’re not easy to love” are words I’ve heard too many times before.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but how long will you keep on looking?
I know that my smile is flawed and crooked but it’s worth the picture still.
Let me write my wrongs until I’m right within but where should I begin?
Walking through a graveyard littered with my ideas and thoughts.
Littered with my endeavours of trying to be someone worthy of your love.
You don’t believe in me so who am I to tell the world about our story?
Just another spoken-word poet from Pretoria trying to attain his glory.
These words are written with great effort but you never pay attention anyway.
You know that I’ve got hyperhidrosis but I try not to sweat the small stuff.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So I always thought that someone would be able to show me how.
“You’re not easy to love” are words I’ve heard too many times before.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but how long will people keep on looking?
I know that my smile is flawed and crooked but it’s worth the picture still.

Hi!
I’m pretty
Imperfect
I’m the chipped teacup
The blemishes on your face that never truly disappear
I’m the Breakup
You always remember  
You see
I’m the darkness right before a storm
On that cold, cold December
I’m the broken window during the month of March
The cold air that still creeps under your skin
Even though you’ve hugged yourself with layers of clothes
I’m the pain you feel within
I’m the gap in your teeth
The one you swear ruins your smile
And that’s why you never smile, you see
Because you swear it gives you anxiety once in awhile
I’m imperfect, you see
I’m like the earth
Damaged and full of holes, and hills that go up and down
But you see
I can change myself
I can be anything you want me to be
I can wear different clothes
I can change the style of my hair
I know I have an imperfect nose
Five thousand dollars is a small price to pay
For your definition of beauty
If only it’ll make you stay
That’s everything I hope I never say
As I steal glances of myself in mirrors
As I see all the imperfections in my face
You’ve called out every since you learned the word hate
Hi!
I’m a ****
At least that’s what you’ve heard
It makes me wonder if you have a brain in there
Or just a peanut
Because you allow other people to define me
Unfortunately for you
I’ve been raised ever since birth
That I should never apologize for being myself
And nobody can redefine my worth
You see
I refuse to hate myself
Just because you find it impossible to love yourself
I will always reach for more
Never for less
You see
We were not born to hate each other
And surely you must agree
And in case you haven’t noticed
It’s a lot less work to love
Than to hate
Because while you’re busy finding imperfections
To mock and to make fun of
I will forever love myself
Even in moments of weakness
Because your hatred will never determine my fate
Hi!
I’m human
I make countless mistakes
In this messed up thing we call life
I procrastinate on important things
And hope to someday be a wife
I want the American dream
I’m reaching for it as far as I can
Because each day I daydream
About waking up to the love of my life in a cozy home of my own
And I’m not a Monday person on a Friday
I’m happy and energetic
As if it’s my birthday
I’m forgiving and kind to those who deserve it
And I know this might sound cliche
But I’m the person you can call at 4 a.m
To talk you out of doing something you’ll regret
You see
I’m a friend to all who respect me
You see
I’m a dreamer, a sister, a student, a daughter, a cousin, and a friend
I’m even a liar
I’m a hop-er
Because I always hope for perfect endings
Even in inevitable situations
Because it’s a lot easier to hope for the best
Than to expect the worst
I’m writing this
Simply because there’s something stuck in me
That refuses to be quiet
And no, it cannot be dismissed
Hi!
I’m me
And I will never apologize for being just that

Sometimes when I stare into mirrors,
I see an array of illusions.
I have a hard time knowing if they're truths,
Or if they are delusions.

For example, sometimes I look and see gross skin,
But then someone will tell me I'm glowing.
I'll look into the glass and see nothing worthwhile,
Because my fat neck is showing.

Other times I will feel attractive,
As I stare into my own brown eyes,
Which I convince myself smolder,
Mocha orbs that are wise.

But then someone will point out a pimple,
And tell me I don't look that great.
I am starting to think illusions
Are all that make up my face.

In this world full of imperfections, you're my perfection.
In this world full of lies, you're my truth.
In this world full of betrayal, you're my loyalty.
In this world full of sadness, you're my happiness.
In this world full of enemies, you're my friend.
In this world full of hate, you're my love.

I let my guard down
and showed him my skin
full of freckles
I let him connect the dots
creating constellations
each with a story
that he narrated

I let my guard down
and showed him my flaws
galactic bruises
thanks to my clumsiness
and let him float in each one
marveling at the purple and blue

I let my guard down
and showed him my bashfulness
as it colored my pale cheeks red
and imprinted goosebumps
everywhere...

I let my guard down
and showed him the ways
I like to sin..
having my fuzz stand in salutation

I let my guard down
and showed him the other side of me
the one basks in the nature of things
naked, bursting with energy of the sun
emitting sultry rays that
brighten his eyes in astonishment

I let my guard down
and showed him
myself
full fledged
imperfection
put together in a beautiful way

I let my guard down
and showed him how my piercing eyes
move waves of emotions
in his gut

I let my guard down
and waited to see
how he will
enjoy such
a mystery
feeding
my kind of
curiosity

your lips
weren't as soft as a flower's petal

your eyes
weren't the color of the sky

your fingertips
were hills of rocks & dry skin patches

but still
flowers bloom at each step you took

i love you so much,
i don't know what to do

Your scars mean nothing to me
Your scars are in your head
Your scars are what consume you
Darling don't let them consume you
for there are greater things to worry about
than your imperfections
For your imperfections are the reason
I picked you
Your perfections are amongst the imperfections
even though you can't see past the imperfections
we can
The world can
I can
The head is a dangerous place
Don't let it hate you
For you are the stars, the constellations in my sky
You are the beauty I see every day
You are the sun rising every morning
and the moon ascending at night
You are the reason I smile
The reason I laugh
You are the universe in my little world
You are everything
that your imperfections are not.