absurd how life's turning into Instagram
flashbacks achieved in heart
overriding from delete
excite to show smiles out
baring painful dms in quite
long-distance short
will for reels of impermanent
everyday searching to deal with a story
and expecting a life of no worry!

i.

i wore ur sweatshirt when i wanted u to hold me; when i wanted to feel safe
i fell asleep with it next to my pillow so your scent could keep the nightmares away every night

my sweatshirt hung in ur closet
i saw you wear it once. one (1) time.

i wish this was one of my twisted metaphors, but it's just a fact.

i should've seen it sooner.
i was never ur safety, never ur comfort.
i couldn't keep ur nightmares away
so i guess it's time for mine to come back


ii.

i need someone to keep me grounded
one thought can ******* into the clouds

i thought you were the answer
but that was my imagination again

you were on the ground
but you had no interest keeping me there

kisses that sent me flying
meant nothing to you

you could let my lips go with an unfazed smile

i saw it on her story
as you rode the ferris wheel

the same one you would give me
the same one you give your mom
even when you're mad at her

who means something to you?
who knows you?
i thought i did
you mom thinks she does

i bet the ******* the ferris wheel thinks so too


iii.

if i knew that would be the last time i kissed u
i would have done it differently
i would've left a sweeter taste in your mouth
and more of me on your tongue
i would've given you a piece of me so tender and secret
that u would regret losing it
every day for the rest of your life.
i would've poisoned you
because i am spiteful and vicious
a storm rages inside of me
full of memories and want and desperation

i don't think you would've changed a think about our last kiss
it was just like u
short and a little sour
with nothing to say except goodbye

I spill my emotions
I express what I feel
I disguise my pains with words
I distill my words to bits
Fit for you Instagram feed
On your tiny glowing screen
And you call me an IG poet

let me understand the clouds
their moods and patterns that

they display in the sky

a single cloud crosses the sky,
from the ground, we can watch it go by

holding my world up there high
in the sky, we look as time passes by

happy clouds, quiet clouds
calm, still clouds

From time immemorial
Its women, who have been supressed,
Its high time
For them to be addressed.

Men are humans too
Its not always a woman’s fault
We need to change this mindset,
Which has been set as default.

From GHUNGATS to SHORTS
Why are girls always blamed?
From RAPES to EVE TEASING
Why are they always put to blame?

From administration till army
Everywhere they are
Still at the night
Safety is a thing very far.

From Sakshi Malik to Chanda Koecher
From Indra Nooyi to Hima Das
Why are women always scepticiced
And not treated as something “KHAAS”? I know just writing poems or giving speeches,
Wont make a difference any day,
But a step ahead is always better than a pause,
In a race towards equality, it may create a new way?

We as women should rise
Not our voices, but intellect,
We as women should fight
Not for short dresses, but for correcting societies defect.

Before any man’s support,
Vow to stand by each other first,
Along with being during the best,
Also promote each other during their worst.

Your “about me” says: ask”, but I don’t know where to start.
Your intent wants to “date but nothing serious” at heart.
But I wanna know more,
my ambition is to learn how very ambitious you are.
The 3 photos attached to your profile inspired me to write this scribe.
Hoping I don’t come off as corny cuz if I do I’ll be dying inside.
But I’ll shoot my shot, slide in ya DM and hope the best of luck.
And I ain’t goin lie, I’m digging ya style, you look **** as hell without your pictures showing too much.
Eloquent features, soft lips, but are your eyez filled with pain?
Cuz the pics don’t depict a smile, please don’t take that the wrong way.
I wanna get high with you spiritually and **** the **** out of your thoughts.
Make your spirit bust as ya soul gets wetter from every idea that was sought.
I wanna kick it, share uncontrollable laughter, go on adventures and get lost.
What’s the cost?
Free thinker, free thinker, are you thinking I’m too soft?
Nah never that, I’m just not afraid to show emotion in which this generation is currently at fault. Their lost.
Doesn’t mean I’m in love with you, doesn’t mean I’m not guarded and ****
Doesn’t mean I’m tryna lock you down like Wayne and mya and have you fallen and ****
But I am interested like whoa, who knows it could be destiny
Even though I wanna see how you put that thing on me, I can’t let you get the best of me
I wanna know everything
from your first love to your last
All just because I’m captivated and your “about me” says “ask”

So I ask.... are you intrigued as well?
Or am I looking  for love in a wrong venue?

in this lifetime
there is you and me
and once we were meant to be
but this is not our universe
and our story is a curse
and so the galaxies conspires
to take away what’s not ours — this love
this love has never been ours.