as the stars trickle down from the sky
they take the form of raindrops
every time they splatter down on me
i feel every shattered aspiration
in those little splashes of starbursts
i feel them stab into me demanding to be set free

crushing a dream
is like ripping the wings from a butterfly
and then asking it why it can not fly

Well, I mean, do guys who drive hot, fast cars like girls like...me?!  That either remains to be seen, or laughed to scorn.


(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCCXLII)


As if to what? my brother lo, fr'intents
Remembers what "his" name is, like'd avail,
Yes, all on "April Fools," and tells me, frail
Though any use is for that note, cuz sense
By dinner's revelation swears twas thence
Some bad joke I played on myself, sans bail,
Whiles how my brothers rate his car's detail
T'effect:  "fast, hot...stupid." O pretense!
So where I whispered that, "I'll know for sure
Tomorrow morning," sigh.  For was that true?
Go laugh at me, cuz I don't want in poor
'Scuse to lay dreams to rest.  I'm weary, to
Be certain, of this awful game; know fer
All that tis folly, but I want it too.

02Apr19b

My note on this reads:  "shoulda been 01Apr19--begun just after midnight turned"



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCCXLI)


The Cardnal called as twere for me in pale
Dawn's early light--just once--as if for sense.
And lo, that line I'd penned in tribute thence
Comes to the 'fore--"...I've got [in sheer betrayl?]
A scarlet lover--" which I swiftly hail
With prayrs of "O! please give me to from hence
A man, LORD!" and how April Fools is't? dense
Wi' import finds "him" where I cherish...bail?
"Say twas an April Fool's joke--" in a poor
'Scuse for my prayrs and hopes keeps rolling through
My mind, but I dare NOT write THAT down.  You're
Allowed to laugh. Nor Cardnal, sparrows to
Aught purpose cry...until "he's" gone.  I stir
Me to weak smiles, cuz my heart's weary too.

02Apr19a

...and yet I do.



(sonnet #MMMMMMMDCCCXXXVII)


Don't tell me that it's April Fools, the pale
Eye of these region clouds as mockry thence
Upon my first thoughts, passing through, a sense
Of morning's pure hopes on my tongue to scale,
Where I caught sight of, likeas to avail,
Dawn's fragile blushes like a maiden's, whence
I rolled this line across my tongue fr'intents:
"Ere dawn, whenas pink skirts the West--" for bail.
To top it off..."he's" on the job, and fer
All that my heart swears that he likes me too.
Go laugh at me and cite off what day'd stir--
Sich lofty visions; yet please hear me to
Effect, O LORD.  Have mercy on me, poor
Though aught 'scuse, and say that he likes me's...true?

01Apr19a

I was born in California,
but haven't been there since
So...have I ever really been?

When I was little, I took a trip to Mexico
But I don't remember one bit
So...does that even count?

Three years ago, I wrote down on my bucket list:
One day I want to see a firefly
I want to see it shine
And not just one, but hundreds
I want to see a whole swarm, delicate as fairies
Off on their mission to warn the world,
Nighttime has arrived

Two years ago, my mother found it and said to me:
What are you talking about,
Fireflies?
Why you and your brothers used to fly with them all the time
You would get a jar, probably one we called Mason even if it wasn't
And you would lock them up inside, prisoners
A type of Stockholm syndrome, where the captors are captivated by the captees

At that moment, I could have erased seeing fireflies from my bucket list and my dreams,
But I didn't
Because that little girl with the jar has lost herself,
and to find herself again... she MUST see a firefly

Stubborn little pile of snow
Doesn't want to melt, you know?
But she is barefoot anyway
Skipping gently,with a sway
Towards pretty daffodils,
Crocuses and violet fields

First day of spring is here,
You should smile and have no fear
Just believe in new beginnings,
Join her now in joyful spinnings,
She will let the sun caress you
She will make your hopes anew!

I remember,
The colour of your eyes,
How your smile forms
Or even how your cheeks turn red.

I know,
The sound of your laugh,
The rythm of your breathing
And the music your heart plays.

I know and still remember,
Your dreams and hopes
Scariest nightmares
And craziest thoughts.

How can i not call you home?