Last night I had a hard time.
I was thinking of you before I fell asleep.

And while I was sleeping,
I was dreaming of you.

And in my dream,
We were together.

I held your hand,
You called me "Babe."

It was amazing.
It was a dream come true.

But then in my dream,
You got on an elevator.

So I followed you in,
And turned around.

And you pressed the bottom floor button,
And quickly ran out.

I was trapped in the elevator,
Plummeting to the bottom.

Just like I feared would happen

So here it goes

When I told you that I loved you,
I meant it... and maybe I still do?
I search for you in every boy I see
And I came to an understanding of what your type could be
Light eyes with a constant smile and a positive air
The kind of guy that could hug with no care
The kind of guy you could talk to with ease
And whose words are warm and soft like breeze
And that’s the trick
The *****-trap on which you trip

Curse you and that type of yours
That blinded me for years

Curse myself and my heart for falling too easy
I should’ve gave up and not be so greedy
Maybe then I would’ve seen the imperfection of your kind
And change the course of my mind

I wish that I could thank you
But it means a conversation and... that takes two

Oh, don’t worry, I know you’re too busy to spend your time on me
A hopeless girl like me can’t talk with you, and I agree

Honestly, I get it
And I’m glad we split
‘Cause you and me... we don’t fit

Although I saw a lot of things we share the same
But maybe it was only in my eyes... ‘cause I had a flame
You were sparkless when all I wanted was to burn
You shut my brain and I thought with that I’d learn

It’s not your fault, it’s all on me
I’m to blame for keeping my dreamless fantasy
You did nothing wrong
I just shouldn’t’ve kept pushing aimlesslly this long

I guess, maybe I scared you with being too honest
Maybe I’m the reason that you broke your promise

I’m sorry I tried to hold ‘nd tie you up
I’m sorry I followed you when you wanted to break up

So, can I let go of you now?
Because s-o-m-e-h-o-w
You’re still caught up in my heart
And I keep wishing my memories could restart
So that I can pretend
That it never started, that it began with an end

So, can I forget the numbers of your phone?
Can I, please, forget that time we spent alone?
I wish I could forget your name
I wish I could forget the person I became
I wish you and I... were never friends
Because,
            why let it start, when you know it ends?

I understand that we’ve lost... whatever it was that we once had
We were, as it goes, ‘slowly but surely’, falling apart

So here it goes

Everyday is, the same old fight
Wandering mind, won't alight
Befuddled emotions, I cannot indite
Find myself, in a sorry plight
Lay deadbeat, as my demons smite
Rest in bleak ashes of blight
Broken, fallen, abjected outright

It's the first time I'm not running away from love
Except it's running from me
But you're not even running in the shoes I helped you pick out
Those were thrown out as soon as the texts stopped coming
We used to talk about listening to records
But now every time I put the needle down all I hear is the echo of your voice saying I never meant anything to you
Maybe you loved me so much you left so you couldn't hurt me anymore
When I look at you all I see is what I lost
And when I look at her I see every reason why you left
You have one hand on my neck and the other pulling her on top of you and I can't tell which one hurts more
I was hoping you would tell me you love me the last time I saw you
But the only thing that came was the burn of alcohol down my throat and the sting of her climbing into bed with you
Sometimes I see you look at me the way you used to
And it takes everything in the world for me to not run back to you in an instant
I lost my best friend and myself
And I still haven't found either
But now I'm only looking for one of them

Stop telling me I need a savior.
I stopped believing a long time ago.
Stop telling me someone will deliver me,
I been waiting for my hell to end
Stop telling me I am loved
If he did love me, I would not know abuse
Stop telling me that prayer is the answer
I have prayed my life away
Stop telling me this life is planned
why would god plan for me to feel so inhuman?
Stop telling me it is in God's hands
If so, his hands are full of sin
Please, for the love of god
stop
trying to make it okay by using *God

Maybe when I'm
Drunk and vulnerable
I'll confess it all.

Like how I love you
And the way you smile
When you tell me about
A good day you've had.

Or how I could never
Tell you I'm in love  
With you sober

Because I know you don't
Feel the same and I
Can't bare to take the pain.