Hi Dad,
              I don’t know if you can read Facebook posts in heaven. I hope you can. Or can feel this on a spiritual level or something like that. It’s your birthday tomorrow. You are or would be 60. I’m not sure how it works once you’ve passed on. I love you. I know I didn’t say it enough. But I love you so much. And I miss you. Happy birthday. I want to call and leave a voicemail singing to you. Or you pick up and I sing to you. I hope you’re eating something awesome in heaven to celebrate. Like our favorite linguini with clam sauce, or some spicy wings or a juicy cheeseburger, perhaps some authentic Chicago Giordano’s deep dish pizza. I miss you a lot. I miss your dad jokes. I miss when I was little and you would comfort me. I miss when I was sick at school and you would come pick me up and we would walk somewhere and get really good snacks and Twix ice cream bars and go to the park because I wasn’t really sick....I just knew you were off and I wanted to spend time with you. I took everything for granted and I’m so sorry. Happy birthday. If you knew my father you know he was the funniest man in the whole room and his laugh, just like mine, was so contagious. His smile, it lit a place up. I hope you are proud of me. I am trying really hard to be better than I have been. I hope you visit me in my dreams. I hope you’re celebrating. I just hope you don’t feel pain. I love you. Happy birthday dad.

                                            -“Face”

you saturate my darkest nights
with all the colors that lay in your eyes

I wish I could have it all
I could get high and watch it dissolve
Have an adventure in my head
Make the loneliness interesting
I’ve been trying to stop speeding
But I fall down and crash
A trip to the hospital
This time I won’t make it back
I’ve got a list of fears
Greatest being myself
Can’t shake the urge to stop neglecting myself
I don’t value wealth
Too much pressure on my conscious
To remain conscious
The days add up like addition
Couple that with a bad personality
You got addiction
Sharing what’s in my head
Not as good as seeing you in my bed
Swimming doggie paddle
But my muscles are giving out

I don’t know how to say
But I gotta be honest about the other day
Last night I had a hook up,
and I know I’ve been seeing you for a month now
So it’s probably about time you leave
It’s not a lie, it’s not you it’s me
Look I like you, but I got needs
And they hadn’t been getting met recently

Honestly, didn’t mean to be a mickey
Throw it all away cause I’m sickening
Disgust myself I need a new awakening
Cause I’m fake, and lie all the time
It’s the same thing every single night
I **** it all up every single time
Why?

But then again
We are just friends