My country's split apart.
And here I am, somewhere else
Relaxing from the start.
My country's president is crazy.
She's selfish, rude and lazy
But here I am, worthless and powerless
Can't do anything for my country.
I'd like to go back there
And do something. Anything!
But I'm still young. Like a broken string.
Who can't do anything but sit and draw.
And read and write.

I really do want to go back home. I do.

It's 12:35 and I'm missing you
In a way, I am missing you all the time
But it's worse here because the sky is bleached
And the heavens has no stars that shine.

This thought scares me
For there's nothing that makes me feel nearer to you,
I hope you're up still
looking at the empty sky just like I do

Memories missed through winter winds
Under one sky, below two evenings
Sneak through the night and I'll make graffiti
On unwanted depression and social anxiety
colourful coats on chipped off walls
Let these art speak for me.

I've heard people who are away from each other say-
"at least we're under the same sky"

but we're not,
because it doesn't rain here the way it does back home,
the sun isn't warm enough to tingle my bones.
the sky here bends to meet buildings and towers,
not the hills and mountains and their wonder

So I say-
*"but we're not. the sky here is different."

fly sweety
your eyes were made for wandering
but please stay homesick
for your bed will always be made
just in case you need some warmth
my fridge will hold your favourite fruits
                             I’ll keep them fresh forever
and according to the gravity of your mood
I have red and white wines to ease the night
countless candles and I’d love to make a bonfire
                           if ever you’re in need of light
for your heart  I’ll be a refuge
even if you flew
out of sight

months ago i left my home
because it was a tragedy.
the place where i never felt alone
starts to feel so crowded and heavy.

so i wrote my lines into your palm
and you took me everywhere you go.
walking to the middle of east & north,
unsure of where we would end up but we knew we currently stand
and that what truly matters, right?

there were times when i would miss my childhood bed
but you offered me your chest
and suddenly i refused to lay down somewhere other than you.
there were times when i would miss
them and their memories
but you make each moment of my past before you
unworthy of reminiscing for the lack of euphoria they hold.
and there would nights where i would miss being okay
because we are constantly moving
city to city in a world where i don't wanna stand in
but you, for just being you, make me glad to be alive.

and the stars hide at night
for they would always be set aside
because i will always favor your eyes.

but there were also nights
where you'd forget to hide the cracks of your sin.
and the light that escapes your broken lines
shines through the dark night, keeping me away from sleep.
there goes your light
shining from your interior
it was so bright as can be,
it blinded me from reality.
you were a hypnotic drug
that commands my feet to follow
you wherever you go.
i gave you my nights & rhymes
and all you gave me is toxic fumes.

you had me the moment your secondhand smoke entered my body
and you marked me the moment your
toxic-laced smoke clouded my air.

your heart and my heart
are now located at the ends of a line.
like intersecting lines,
we were once perfect at one point
but for some reason,
we had drifted from each other.
all i could stare it is the starry night
but i don't like stars,
i don't know where we are
and i don't know where to go
though, i'm glad as hell i wasn't where i used to be.
there are nights where you'll suddenly throw rocks at my window.
the moment you'll lay your head on my shoulders,
it will always feel like home.
you were home
and just like my previous one,
you are a tragedy.

Type and type
Until my finger tips bleed
And write and write
Until the blisters sting.

Home isn't a place
Where to lay your head down,
Because places have  a tendency
To much like bridges,
Burn to the ground.

And beat your head against the wall,
Over and over
Because of that nagging feeling
In the back of your head
"Not good enough"
Eats away at the parts of you
You considered dead.

But it's getting later,
And you're not getting younger.
But who the hell cares,
I, being the general "you" I mentioned earlier, would wait an eternity to be by your side.

I'm flying away from my troubles.
From the pain,
From the wounds of my past.
And though I'm by your side,
There are plenty of scars along my skin.

And I hope you don't mind,
But I'm a little strange away from home.

But home isn't a place,
It's where my heart is,
And my heart happens to beat
Alongside yours.

No, I'm afraid home isn't a place,
Rather,
It's a heartbeat.

Before you, I did not notice much. They say that when you fall in love, nothing and no one else matters. but that’s not true. When you fall in love, everything matters just a little more. Songs now make sense, all of the sudden you yearn for a dozen roses and another coat of mascara now makes a difference. When I fell in love with you, I realized that sidewalks are made for two, that two chair tables outside small coffee shops are meant for dates, and that ice cream tastes better when its shared. The sun, the stars, winter, trees, coffee, Chinese takeout, beer, long car rides, pools, walking, TV shows, funny movies, perfect fitting jeans, new makeup, curled hair, new outfits, and everything in-between, mattered so much more when I fell in love with you. Suddenly, home was no longer my mother’s house Sunday mornings with the smell of pancakes, home was anywhere and everywhere as long as I was with you. What I am trying to say here is that now you’re gone and I’m homesick and I don’t know where home is anymore.