I've never been homesick.
I've been “home-sick”--
carrying that hunk of lead in the pit of your stomach
as your time away comes to an end.
Back to routine,
back to routine.
Not to be mean
but I want to take my roots
and plant them elsewhere
time, after time, after time.
Because you have to come back to your roots.
But this plant is rotting from the bottom up,
reaching for the sun with a weak foundation
and I don't want to fall.

I've never been homesick.
But I've been so sick of the droll,
the toll,
the tax I didn't know I had to pay
for the sake of community.
But where's the common unity
if the clockwork pieces
move farther apart
with every passing hour?
Our time is coming,
but I don't know what will transpire.

I've never been homesick.
I've been sick-
sick of wanting to be sick
so I can stick to faulty sympathy--
faulty because I need to grow.
Faulty because I need to know
I can go it alone
without these training wheels
I can't detach
because guess who can't afford
half the tools she needs
since she spent it all on comfort?
It's how I was raised:
substitute praise
with a trifle,
a trinket,
a treat.
We only eat
to fill the holes we dig for each other
while father, sister, mother
spiral down-- farther, farther,
until we forget what we’re burying.

I've never been homesick.
I don't have a home to miss
(not yet) because I've never been
I've never seen
where I'm meant to reside
for the rest of my life.
My home is farther than I can reach
so I strive for heavenly speech
to mimic the local dialect.
Maybe someone will detect
that I'm lost
I can't get there just yet
but I'm homeward bound.