When I was younger,
I thought that my love life as a teenager would be fleeting.

I imagined it to be like the wind;
Something that could be felt,
but not seen.
And something that never stayed for too long.

I thought that I would date
Boys with tattoos and piercings
Boys in bands
Boys with skateboards
Boys who smoked
Boys who drank
Boys who partied

Boys who would probably treat me like ****
but it wouldn't matter because they would make me feel alive.

I never thought that my teenage love would be something like this;
Something real
Something permanent
Something deep
Something personal
Something attached
Something loving
Something scary

I never wanted to put myself in a situation in which I could get hurt.
But I did anyway.

When I met him
I decided that it was worth it
I decided that he was all I wanted
I decided that it would be useless to waste time with someone else
I decided that he was my person
I decided that I could trust him
I decided that I should go against all I wanted in a teenage relationship
Because being with him was worth any pain that it caused me.

I decided that he was mine and I was his.
Forever.

And I realized that I didn't want anything else.

5 years from now
None of this will matter,
For stories treading halls
Seemingly endless will
Evaporate and soak
Into walls, all the
Broken hearts and
Superstar athletes,
All the pretty faces
And "lasting" friendships
That never endured the
Winters of summer separation.
All the rumors and
Lies and achievements
And stories washing over
Every blank corner
We wade through today
Will turn to mist in
The air of tomorrow,
And none of this
Will even matter.

It was the summer of missed promises
And I tried so hard to make it up to you that year
But everything was different.
We couldn’t get back in the same rhythm
Because I’d hate to force it.

It was the summer of forgotten love letters
Because we never knew how to sign off.
They always ended up in empty desk drawers with “for sale” signs on them
Because we wanted them to be anonymous.

It was the summer of bonfires
And nostalgia
For a time when the only thing that made sense was your laugh and your hand in mine;
For a time when I had no idea what I really wanted,
Because all anybody’s given me was a broken heart.

It was the summer I dared to look in my high school yearbook;
Crisscrossed with scribbled writing
In everybody’s haste attempt to sum up the four years I hated most.
I read them with tears in my eyes
And I’m sorry for that-
I’m usually not like that; regretting everything that didn’t happen between us

It was summer of drunken nights
In small attempts to erase you from my mind
It was the summer I realized
I may never see you again.

There was a girl.
And this girl wore her heart on her sleeve
Everyone saw this and everyone cared.

There was a guy.
And this guy wore his scars on his skin
Everyone saw this but no one cared.

Why would they?
She was beautiful, had a voice that made waking up worth while
He was beautiful too but you couldn't see that through his denials

The girl finally noticed the guy.
He was the only one who never said hi

She asked why he never cared
He answered "I'm sorry your majesty"

This went back and forth for a couple weeks
Until one day he didn't come to school

There was a guy.
And this guy hung a crown around his neck
No one saw this but everyone cared

The girl finally noticed the guy.
He was the only one who never said bye

i hear my heartbeat
in my ears
that's when i know
that the tears come near

i find it hard to admit
that i am completely
and utterly infatuated with you

and i hate it
why? you ask
because we're almost like best friends
and that's the only way you'll ever see me

some girls are meant to be a girl friend
some girls are meant to be a best friend

& unfortunately
i'm the latter

HP's "best" writers  .  .  .
Banal sheep in wolves clothing,
  .  .  .  Only make lambs bleat.

I cannot be seen with a pear.

Not in this environment.
Where opinions torment
And my affections lay dormant.

My view of you is tainted
What was once reasonable restraint
Is now repulsion and complaint.

I am sorry, dear friend.
But I cannot stand the sight of you.
I wince at the thought of what we used to do.

No more Frank. No more Dean
I want my memory wiped clean.
I cringed when I remember the times you touched me.

The smack of lips is the worst.
From my mouth profanities burst.
It is a shame to think that of my first.

It was pleasant at the time.
But I have to draw a line.
Now I bare the burden of these visions in my mind.

Your smell still lingers.
That stupid ring on your finger.
No wonder we were terrible swingers.

I can bare to text.
but I refuse to sit next to you.

I am sorry to say
Away from me you must stay.
I don't want to see you anyway.

I could never be seen with a pear.
Because I'm superficial and I care
About what people think.

No, it's not fair.