Hiding isn’t hard,
It’s exhausting
Try to not make a sound,
Or they’ll find you

I get lost in my thoughts
I look for a way out
they say it gets better
but I can only doubt
I keep it inside not wanting to mention
the bad thoughts and feelings
they say it's all for attention
The late nights and long days
the endless pain
An emotionless face
silently watching the rain
My words screaming as they yearn to be free
wanting to speak and tell the world my story
And yet the only thing stopping them is me
I took the only thing they yearn for and built a wall around it
I know I'm the problem it's all because of me
I run and I hide hoping for it to end
but I've learned a life lesson
nothing changes until you learn to bend...

Person 1:
So how was your long weekend?
Me:
Uhmmm great

Person 2:
Did you have a great holiday?
Me:
Yeah of course

Me:
Why do I lie to everyone?
Me:
It’s what we do so they don’t know we’re miserable just like everyone else is

*sigh

In the dark, I am no longer taken,
No more pursued by those judging gazes.
Absent from this world I stay, forsaken,
But existing - hiding from dead faces.

In the dark I am suspended, frozen
Forever in this world which feigns to care;
Time has been lost, the days and weeks broken.
I stand still, decaying into nowhere.

In the dark, I waken to the calling
Of one too many thoughts pulling me down.
This place of solitude - it means nothing,
Not when tomorrow's the day I will drown.

In the dark, I can hide for no longer,
Those dark thoughts grow forever stronger.

I feel most myself when I am loving you
strawberry seeds on the top of your tongue and I’ve never tasted anyone so sweet
we are made of the same skin
and I don’t worry that in another life I may not have found you, for our hiding places are the same

Within the  peace  that comes

  from a very,  Loved place;
there is an un-settling..

And, into what once felt secure
there enters a disturbance..
(a dark,  unholy-meddling)

((Yet, the painful growth that chaos
brings,  pierces the form of security
this fear-filled world is peddling.))

Feeling betrayed,  she now wants to run
    but  instead,  believes..


                      ..And,  against all odds:
         she draws from the love of God
               in order  to help protect her

                from the very love,  of God.