One for the proactive, that never look back,
On the ticking time bomb that remains in their past.

If you join me on a brisk walk down memory lane,
Be expecting a sprint with hurdles and pain.

Life’s a masala, like a bowl of *** pourri,
Do you have Bernard’s watch, or a cup of tea you can pour me?

The bittersweet taste makes everything better..
Watch me paint my face - the ultimate trendsetter,

While I dance around the truth and shake around the fear,
That’s been shadowing me now for a good 20 years.

It started with a breath and ended with a scream,
As many lives unravelled in silence and bad dreams.

So many scenes forgotten, rejected and deleted,
As my young mind drowned but refused to be defeated.

Defaced and defiled, no attempt to be reconciled,
No retribution resonates with the word *******.

One person to blame, one person Scot free,
One person rewarded immunity.

But would the penultimate moment when intervention intervenes,
Cause combustible chaos awaiting to be seen?

So read my tangle of nonsense words scribbled in scratchy black pen,
As I’ll never be able to colour out of the lines again.

Every ounce of innocence and youth has already been depleted,
Let us mourn a life-post, never to be repeated...

I was not good at Hide and Seek,
So I was always chosen the last in a team.
I could never tell a lie,
So my friends and family never told me their secrets,
They nicknamed me tell tale.
I could never fight my battles,
My siblings and friends were there for me.
Now that I have a broken heart,
Wounded and scarred,
I have learned to hide my pain and tears  behind my veiled eyes,
I have learned to hide my sorrow behind my fake smile,
I have learned to make my silence my strength,
To face my ordeal, heal and move on.
18/2/2019

She hides her feelings behind her soft brown eyes
She hides her ugly truths behind the beautiful lies
She hides her growing disease behind a meaty exterior
She hides her everything, afterall, what are people for?

Would you like it if I cried?
Would that make it more real to you?
Would you like it if I died?
Would that make my feelings true?

Would you make me go and hide?
Would that finally impress you?
Would you eat up all my pride?
Would that satisfy you?

That's how you'd like it.
That's how you'd like it, isn't it?

That's how I'd like it.

The boy with the light stare
The strawberry blond hair
The innocent blue eyes with a dark past
The liar next door
He wears the same outfit daily
Hiding behind the black
Talking slow as he stumbles to find the right words
Never seeming to catch up with his bright mind
So he pretends
Walking with his head down and his back bent forward
hiding the scars sitting on the protective layer of skin
Because everyone told him he was wrong
And soon enough he started to believe them
They used him up
Until he was nothing
And left him there to rot

I’m hiding the hurt,
I’m hiding the pain.
I’m hiding the tears,
Although they flow like rain.
I’m hiding the fear-

Just let me brood;
I can’t tell you the secrets trapped inside my skull,
Don’t call me rude.

Let me
Protect you.

I’ll tear myself apart
To put you together
I’ll make it worse for me
To make you feel better

It’s all about you
Don’t focus on worthless things like me
These aren’t the colours I should see
Get it right:
You’re priority.

In layers I hide
Behind my mask
Maybe there’s a monster?
To remove it
Should you I dare ask?

I’d loved you while you lasted
I’ll love you through your plastic
I’ll love you when you’re finite
I’ll love you as fantastic

I know it’s not the best
I know it’s not that healthy
In this case especially
Because it is killing me!

But how can I tell you?
How can I deliberately disappoint?
How can I **** all dreams you have for me?
How to tell I need oil in my joints?