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Sienna Duff Mar 2018
I met the love of my life at a needle tip, I fell for her as soon as I discovered her exquisite beauty that ran skin-deep, leaving shivers down my spine when I first felt her warmth, coursing through my veins.

I met the love of my life in a dark alley-way, where most folk around these ends dare not go, through forgotten pathways abandoned by the men in uniform with shiny badges but no stranger to other men who were on the run and just wanted to make a quick buck at every twist and turn.

Even the darkest corners of this dull city appeared to be animated and took my breath away with her wrapped around my arm and by my side, she was my anchor and kept me warm on those cold, lonesome nights.

She became everything to me and more, she was the heaven that I went to hell for, dominating our relationship and yet I loved her unconditionally, too much of a fool to see what she was doing to me from the side-line.

She no longer came to visit or show up at their door because my family and friends hated her, they kept telling me that she was no good for me with clenched fists and tears filling their eyes but her voice drowned out the sound of theirs, soft, warm and loving just like how she made me feel, until I put her above them.

The concept of time dissolved when I met the love of my life, my vice.
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I am feeling less than human
No longer worthy of love
Each day i live out
What nightmares are made of

I am contemplating silence
The kind that doesn't end
That way I will never have to
Find out what lies around the bend

I am afraid of what I've become
I should leave while I still can
To split before I hurt someone
I think is the smartest plan

I should have known from the beginning
I would end up spiraling down
I thought i could avoid my fate
Now in addiction I drown

I'm only happy when I'm high
It is a temporary reprieve
from the pain so I cover up
marks on my arm with my sleeve

I have never felt like such a failure
Nor felt so frail and so weak
I've lost all my appetite
I can't find the will to speak

I wish I could beat the ache
Rise up and take my life back
If I were stronger then
I could get my life on track

Instead I hide my suffering
Hold the hurt I feel inside
Now everything that once was good
In me withered away and died

A flower in December
Once beautiful and innocent
My soul is no longer blooming
My petals are all bent

Is it too late to save myself
from the path I have chosen to walk on?
Can I rekindle the fire
Within or am I too far gone?

I want to believe there is still a chance
To change the person I am
I wish I was not this girl
Who would do anything for a gram

My life has been like this too long
To be exact: almost a year
I cannot remember when things went wrong
I do not know how I ended up here

I should have thought things through then
Before I took my first hit
Honestly I had no idea
How hard it would be to quit

First stage of change: acceptance
What is the second? I don't know
That is the problem, I'm ready
But have no clue where to go

I need to move an inch forward
Because my life is at stake
I want to feel how I used to
Before I made that fatal mistake
I have come so far since then and I am so proud of myself! Today is the two month mark for me being clean from ****** and I have been off suboxone for a week now I feel ****** but I know it can only get better from here on out. Some days are hard but ultimately nothing is worth the pain that comes with drug abuse. To everyone out there in recovery: STAY STRONG!
Kris Fireheart Feb 2018
Shiny shards of slowly death
Rush,  cough,  and take a breath..
Its all they can to re inject
Another night on Tina's breast.

I watch them from afar, disgusted
My two best friends went homeless,
Got busted.

See,  I might do some coke or smoke ***** all day,
But i can't understand this game they all play.

Always crystal or ***** or ****** or yay,
One more way to make my fiery heart fade.

But i told them i wasn't going back to those days,
I'll stick with my greenery, downers and stay...

Alive.
this is a drug poem. Everyone i know does ****, and I hate the changes i see in them.
I've grown up and out of hard drug use,  looking towards my future.  So many i know have not...
Kris Fireheart Feb 2018
She had everything she
needed,
To make most men fall.
Mindless zombies,
Men like me,  so oblivious
To it all.

Smelled her cooking,
So sick and
so sweet
A poison that's all her own.
****** swept her off
Her feet,
Now Holly
Wants to be alone.

She slithers down my street
At night,
A needle in her hand.
One more shot and ****** Holly
Fades to neverland...

In her eyes,  I see
Her past.
It's all so dark and sad.

Under her bruises,  I
Can see her light.
The only hope she
Has...
about a girl i used to know.  Sad story.
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
I never knew what pain was
Until I felt the sting of withdrawal
That's the kind of hurt that can cause
The strongest toughest man to fall

That's why I would do anything
Just to taste another hit
That is the biggest reason why
It's impossible to quit

I know that it's pure evil
It's poison but it brings me peace
Causes so many problems
But **** I love that sweet release

I spend all the money I have
On a vice that I despise
This love-hate relationship
Will surely be my demise

Too broke to go to rehab
Or support this habit
If I knew what would help
I would reach out and grab it

I become lost and hopeless
I want so badly to heal
But I'm always trapped by
This sickness that I feel

I used to look into mirrors
And see a smile there
Hating my reflection has
Replaced my smile with a glare

Is there any way to change?
Or is it already too late?
The worst part of this gutter?
I created my own fate

If I could go back in time
And do things right instead of wrong
I would never let this
Awful drug string me along

******, you've got me
Im addicted, bound to your high
But I swear I am trying with
all my strength to say goodbye
This was written 1/14/17 over a year ago but reading it takes me back to the way I felt when I wrote it. I remember exactly how trapped and powerless I felt, not even recognizing the person staring back from the mirror, not caring about myself enough to look after my body, whether I lived or died didn't matter at all, I was just going through each day barely hanging on to the few threads of goodness I had left in my life. I am so much happier now and reading this makes me even more confident in my decision to never touch that disgusting poison again. This is my motivation. I don't ever want to be that girl again, I was a hollow empty shell of the real person I have now become and I have so many things that are fulfilling in ways that drugs will never be!
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
The saddest part is
You can't even tell yourself
Apart from the drugs
After so many years ****** has taken over a portion of you thst you will never get back. I hate that evil drug. I wish I hated you too.
Joshua Michael Feb 2018
I can hear them again,
I can hear the voice.
They are calling me out,
To make the choice.

They want me to start,
To use again.
They telling me to end,
End all the pain.

I know this numbing high,
The brown slop.
I know they are right,
It makes it stop.

They are screaming listen,
Listen.
The voices are back, the demons the ones who tell me to do things.
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
Love is addictive.
Yours is even harder to
Quit than ******.
Love is the most dangerous drug of all
Azuraine Feb 2018
I know the exact moments that you break through, and you are with me . I always love you for that.
I feel you totally at times and am overwhelmed in so many wonderful ways.I  really love you for that.
Pain wasn’t something you dealt . You were a love dealer ...I completely loved you for that .
I hate that you are gone still but I know you needed to go to be free .
I just don’t want to be free of you .
I still love you... even with that.
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