The room spins
And my head feels
Disconnected.
I’m falling to the ground,
Through the ground.
My world shatters around me
And I watch
As the pieces of me
Drift too close to the sun
And burn.
Like Icarus with his wings,
They melt away into nothing
And I’m left falling.
I have nothing to hold onto
And no ground to keep me steady.
All I can do is fall.
Fall into nothingness
And be swallowed whole
By the void.

You are forever mine
Your hair, your hands, your eyes
I’m dying in your arms
But your weeps are futile

For in your arms I find
Another man’s delights
Another man will soon
Take up your love and care

I dare to come again
Knowing the curse of love
I step into your room
And find you there alone

Excited to return
I stride to you, in vain
Your head to me you turn
And I can’t hide the pain

The pain to realize
That in your arms again
I’ll find myself today
And yet the pain will surface
When I will leave, and after me
Another man will enter
And you will turn yourself to yet another face

I want to see her. She wants to die.
When she feels sad, then I'll take my life. Take my life and place it right next to hers, so I can make her happy and give her what she deserves. I want to comfort and she wants to run to another guys house where I'm afraid they'll have fun in a way that makes me jealous as hell. If that happens then I'll say, "Oh well". I guess I'm just sad and I should get over it. I'm happy and lucky in this relationship. I'm stuck, because she needs a place to go, but her stupid-*** mom won't let her up and grow into the beautiful woman that she is and ought to be. So now all she wants to do is up and leave. But she can't come here or her parents will call the police. She's not a little kid and I don't come in peace. I want to yell at her mom and break her knees so she'll stay and listen to my stupid-*** plea. I want my girl in every day of my life. I want to love her and remove her strife so she'll never feel sad ever again. These are my feelings and this is the end.

You deserve someone
Who’ll bring down the stars for you

Sometimes
Intelligence is just another
Set of instincts
Don’t ignore your intelligence

You’re better than you think
You’ll be better than now

Trust your eyes

You made mistakes
You learnt
That means you were successful

Step to step

If you feel
Like you’re slipping
Maybe you just need to slip a bit

Pause
Take your time
It’s your world

Anger
Is a form of
Hurt

There are problems
You won’t be able to-
(allowed to)
-solve
And that’s okay
It’s not your fault

It’s okay to close the doors
Let’s find some peace and quiet

Does it feel hopeless?

Sometimes you can’t help but feel helpless
It’s okay
You can’t be confident all the time

Sometimes we achieve
Unexpected things

I CONTINUE TO TRY TO CLIMB FROM THIS PIT OF DESPAIR, WHILE REALIZING THAT THE MORE I CLIMB TO THE LIGHT THE FURTHER AWAY IT MOVES FROM ME.
MY HEART BEING SHATTERED PIECE BY PIECE, SO THAT I MAY FEEL EVERY NICK OF PAIN.
THOSE I HOLD DEAR, THAT HURT ME THE CLOSER I PULL THEM TOWARD, BUT THE PAIN OF PUSHING THEM AWAY WOULD FEEL UNBEARABLE.
IVE BEEN TEMPTED, AND HAVE FELL TO THAT TEMPTATION, TO MAKE THE ONES I LOVE MOST HAPPY, EVENTHOUGH I KNOW THAT AT THE END,
THEY WILL ULTIMATELY BE THE REASON I SELF DESTRUCT.
My deepest sorrows have been caused by those whom I could never picture myself being without.
Though at the end, I know I will be left even more scattered than before, those same people feel perfectly in place.
I yearn the attention and adoration from those who could care less about my happiness, yet I feel loved.
Eventhough they have made my life a living nightmare, I just wanna be the reason they sleep well at night.
WHY DID I EVEN THINK I WAS WORTHY OF THEIR ALL? THERE HAS TO BE A REASON I ADORE THEM SO HEAVILY. WHY WOULD THEY EVEN WASTE TIME ON SOMEONE LIKE ME WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERS WHO CAN DO MORE FOR THEM THAN I EVER COULD.
TO BE WORTHY ENOUGH FOR EVEN THEIR LEAST, MAKES ME FEEL THAT I AM SPECIAL TO AT LEAST SOMEONE, THOUGH IT BE SHORT LIVED.
Eventhough you are the reason these tears are forming in my eyes, and my vision is getting blurry, even being that you are the reason I’m lower than I thought I could ever be, I still just wanna be the reason you smile.
I wanna bring warmth to your heart in this cold world. My heart beats to bring you joy, because just you being happy, is the reason I can wake up and say that I have a purpose.
MY BODY, HEART, MIND, AND SOUL ARE IN AGONY, BUT IF THAT MEANS THAT YOU ARE JUST A SMALL BIT SATISFIED. IT MAKES ME FEEL THAT IT IS ALL WORTH IT.
AND HONESTLY, AS MY TEARS DROP ONTO THE SCREEN AND IT GETS A LITTLE HARDER TO BREATHE, I WILL DO IT AGAIN, AND WOULDNT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY.

The wind bites through my clothing
Regardless of the amount of layers
I wear.
I feel the chill on my skin
And on my bones.
I feel the chill
On my soul,
Numbing my core
But not enough.
My body might lay stiff
And frozen
But my mind-
My mind runs a marathon
Panting and heaving
Going for gold.
The tears freeze to my ducts
And my screams.
My screams are hollow
And empty.

I know I can sulk,
as much as
I want to
as much as
I can.

So I do.

Nothing changes

It's the same pretty mistake I do,
Intentionally, foolishly.
I might wait a different outcome,
I might not think at all.
Over and over.

So I do.

Nothing changes

I know I can scream,
as helpless as
I want to
as helpless as
I can

as helpless as I am

So I don't.

Nothing changes.

It's always the same outcome
that life serves me with a grin.