"Xanax for the pain inside my brain,
temporarily easing off of the full throttle gas petal that drives me insane.
Almost silencing all of the screams ,
and repetitive voices of my own self conscious, blaming self for all of my
regrets and broken dreams.
The calming of my ugly inner demons,
abusing me with the ways of their
constant torture..

I am still my own worst enemy,
and always will be,
evermore.."

Are you staying,
Or are you going?
And if you’re going,
How do I make you stay?
Would it make a difference if
I told you how I felt about you,
Told you that I’ve loved you
From the moment I met you?
If I told you how much
I miss you when you’re gone,
How you’re the last thing
On my mind at night,
And the first thing I think of when I wake?
If I told you how when I see you in a dream,
And begin to tell you how much
I care about you, the dream fades,
And I’m left with tear stains on my pillow?
Because if you stay,
I will love you with everything I have,
If you stay,
I will always be there for you,
If you stay,
I will have everything my heart has ever wanted,
But all of this will only happen,
If you stay.

Do you remember

that last night?

Before things got ****** up,

and everything was normal.

We sat in your car,

driving through the sleeping city;

unbeknownst to the future,

and how bad everything would end.

If only I had known

how little time we had.

I would have said something,

instead of sitting in silence.

I've been badly broken

Beaten down so far I don't even recognize myself

All I have left are bits and pieces of what I once was

Shardes of my life

Thats all I have left to give

Just the rubble of what once was

I hope its enough for you

Silence speaks louder than words
You’re silence is screaming
Echoing inside my brain
“Your not good enough”

You can stop talking
I understand
I hear your silence
Loud and clear

I held the sun in my left hand.
The pen in my right.
Placed the sun above and squeezed.
As my blood began to boil
My skin began to peel,
My right hand shook,
But I couldn't let go.
What laid on the paper
Was the yellow flame from the sun, full of red blood
and black ink: The witches brew.
I growled, at the top of my voice!
"What more can you take?!?!
My life?? Take it, it's yours!
My poetry? It was written,
long before I was born!
My hand? I have no need for it anymore!"
Soon enough,
The sun was floating,
Above my wrist, where I dared to hold on.
It took what it wanted,
And left me a present,
Above the now cauterized flesh.