im wrapping these lights around the balustrade? of my stairs and i thought they looked beautiful but now that
im stepping off my chair they
don't look that nice um
they look sloppy and tacky
like the ones off the side of a Mexican restaurant
i wonder how natalie portman decorates her christmas lights.
they must be nice.
i used tape
she probably gets someone else to stick it up anyways but
the tape is pretty when the light hits it and the
colors blend and stutter like it's trying to short circuit the tape but
the tape is swimming in it even though there
is only light in glass in light
i stick the tape on the wall.
there is something psychedelic about holding a handful of rainbow lights alone on a chair until they start spilling over and you tilt your neck to see where they go but
there is only the ground there is only the ground there is no where to fall into but
the light is moving again because
you are the tape
and you are standing on the chair where the glass blooms with filaments that you
touch and suddenly you are
swimming in colors that don't seem sloppy and tacky anymore.
you pull the plug.
the house is bright again.

I was left hanging
in your garden heart
yet I was only a ****
who never got your
attention.

I want to be this
wet white dress
hanging alone on the line,
on such a gentle
Sunday morning.

Why do I want to be this dress
so badly?
Every time I glance it’s way
I’m surprised with the jealousy I feel.
I must be jealous of its peace,
I suppose.

It has no need to do anything
all day long,
except hang there
and sweetly dry
in its own time.

So many thing there are
I would like to do
To accomplish
So much that I don't know
Which should be done first
My head is overloaded
Soon to collapse
I might end up completely
Wornout without
Fulfilling anything
None at all
I am on the edge now
Of a cliff
I wonder if I choose
To just fall
Than continue
Hanging by a thread
It is better to end
All of these
Afterall

Treat me with your best,
best i've never once had.
Say it to their rest,
I am no longer sad.

still they lack me not,
not as if i was there.
enough they really thought,
i am no longer here.

So I look on more,
more love my rude goodbyes,
the pain, so much sore.
I am well stuck so high.

I finally sit,
Sit on my beaten stool.
Maybe they can fit.
I am well with such cruel.

I breathe once again,
Again I take my life back.
make no mistake, there is but no win.
I am well with all, still none, a hanging track.