In vacant masks
We hide the veins
Where the sickly blood
Flows within us
Like a raging, hidden
Flame divided
Beneath a blanket
Of expectations
Of lacerations
Of blocked
Shocked
Methods of filth

Where we can act
As though we are better
When someone leaves
Or mistreats
Or walks away
Or makes them pay
We sit with our hands
Together like some morbid
Altar boy drunk on
Some misconceived
Notion that we are
Better.

the huge lightning sounded
in that instant well that
in that gloomy and dark sad
in that where the water on the walls creeps
in that where the groves and alleys are round

the lightning came
the royal fell into pieces
what is now where now and how
this is where the lians grow in the bathroom
where the cucumbers lie next to the window

18.08.18

stars are not eternal
they will go out
everything will become oblivion
all will swallow up the fog and gloom
and even our bright sky
and bright sun and rays
everything will go into darkness
everything will swallow up the fog

your eyes are blue
bright words bright words
beauty is all before us
everything swallowed up the fog
all the darkness will take with them

every ray of the sun
every ray of the moon
every ray of love
every ray of our love
everything will go down in the fog
everything will go into darkness
everything will sink into oblivion
everything will burn in the dark

16.07.18

The voices in my head, brought me to this place
A gloomy surrounding, everything looking lifeless and sad
I question myself, “Why am I here?”
But as I look ahead, I see a beautiful mountain; covered in fluffy snow,
Almost looking like the clouds.
Now, I am yearning to see the mountain up close,
But how do I get to see the best view?
With no one around, not even animals
Who do I go for, for advice?

I continue to look and walk around,
Still clueless, not sure what has drawn me to go on this journey
“It’s only a mountain,”
I tell myself.
Trying to figure out where the voices in my head came from
My mind is blocked
Can’t think straight or
See clearly
Everything is a blur.

Could this possibly be a dream?
I continue on with this journey
Trying my best to find a way to get to the snowy mountains
Tired and lifeless,
I pass out in the middle of nowhere
Flashbacks start to come
You were the voice in my head
Your harsh words,
Harsh words that brought me into this dark place
Left me feeling helpless and burdened
I get up and try to find a way out

Here I am standing, standing where I began
Looking at the mountain,
From where I’m standing, I question myself:
“Which way do I go?”
There’s the stream
A stream that’s aligned with the mountain
And the mountains with a path cleared out
Directing me to the snowy mountain.

The voices in my head
Preventing me from moving forward,
Drowning me with sadness.
The longer I’m here,
The more it overwhelms me
I’ve got to get out of here.

The snooze button
My morning companion
Why wake early
When you can delay ennui
For just a moment longer
Ten minute dreams
That seem to last
A lifetime until
It's too late

Hurry to work
The chair you hate
Hurry to work
The screen that stares
Hurry to work
Where no one cares
Hurry to work
The sooner to despair

Surrounded by walls that blind
The morning star
Surrounded by people who
Worship cupidity
Maybe I do too
That's why I am here

Life. A metaphor for pain. Solemnly I watch as the skyline fades away. The horizon calls my name. Tempting my departure from this forsaken place. Whispering the words I so dearly need to hear. Alas, no shelter from the rain. Suffering forever. This twisted, endless, game.