Dear anger, frustration, denial, and fear,
I don't want you near.
You weighed me down like a lead balloon,
So I'm letting you go to find a new home far away, like the moon.

What's with this fixation on isolation
During the coronavirus outbreak
Is isolation such a bad thing?
I think it's a great thing
Maybe it's because I'm introverted
Maybe it's because I'm gifted
My house is locked and loaded
Want food? I'll gift it to you
Not just you
But your friends too!
Because that's just me
Giving to those in need
Anything for humanity
I ain't letting some Chinese virus
Take away the good in me
Do I look like some Winnie-the-pooh looking fool
Who kills those who speak the truth?

Nah, my names Anthony
You may have never heard of me
But let me tell you how  I'm feeling
About China's president
I'm frustrated
I'm devastated
I wish I could help those in tragedy
You know, the ones who are forcefully locked away
By those that be
He sent people to **** those who spoke out
"There's no virus!"
But people kept speaking out
No more hiding
Now it's all over the world
All because of Xi Jinping's silence
During the first couple of weeks
And for that
He must pay

Such an awful president
How many deaths are on your hands?
How many people suffered?
It's all your fault Xi Jinping
Should be charged
For crimes against humanity.

Midnight skies above
It's beautiful
It's wonderful
It lets me forget
About yesterdays struggles  

I forget about feeling numb
Forget about my soul being poisoned
Perhaps that isn't true
Perhaps my vision is blinded
By the light
The light those wicked
Or maybe both
I don't know

I wish I was out there in the stars
Exploring many different possibilities
But here I lay on Earth
Stuck with a bunch of zombies
Who never chased their dreams
Their mind brainwashed by screens
Spending all day on their i-phone
Until its too late
When their family gathers around, crying
Right next to their gravestone

Gone are all possibles
As well as dreams
Just like that.
How tragic.

Yeah, this poem is ironic coming from me
But it is what it is
And that's how it's gonna  be

From me to you, the one who sees
In the dark, In the light
And everywhere
In-between.

when all I am
Is a man with a thousand faces
Do I take the ****
And just end it?
Or do I continue
And commit more sins?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
And the ones you love
Little the roadside
I've seen it all, I've done it all
And yet
I still have more questions
All of which will never be answered
Not with my current existence

My mind has been all over the place lately
And it's driving me crazy
I think it's because I'm meat-rotting at home
Been doing nothing but writing
It's bringing me nowhere
But I can't stop writing
Even though I want to
Because I want to go somewhere - anywhere
But here

Guess I'll just have to deal with it
Like I always have
I am infinite after all
Sure, the state of my soul
Is a bit complicated
And I might be a bit corrupted
But I still won't let my light fade

I'll keep it burning because of a promise
A promise I made before coming into existence
Its what I must bear
And I hope it'll bring me somewhere - anywhere
But here.

Angels crying
Reality fading
Just little old me
Trying for perfection
It's hard enough as it is
I don't even want to do this anymore
But I have to
So I can impede my possession

A dark connection was made years ago
Its eyes were filled with darkness and corruption
I see that every day in my reflection
Once upon a time, it was bliss
But now
Now I must get out of this mess

I've been doing really good
But they tell me there's no escape
So what is the point
If that part of me cannot be destroyed
My hands are tied and I'm really annoyed
Forget those times where I was overjoyed
Guess I should just deal with it like I always have
God, I'm such a *******
But I'm sure I'll have the last laugh.

Don't wanna be like the rest
don't wanna listen to the lies
can you see the skies?
we're all gonna die!

Welcome to the hellhole
a world filled with *******
just pull the trigger and disappear
it's the best thing to do
when you're here.

Somewhere, you have a home.
Somewhere, someone will miss you.
Somewhere, somewhere, somewhere-
Well I'm sick of it!

I'll never have a home,
And I don't want people waiting for me!

I want people to accept my actions.
I want people to leave me be...
I want them to continue on like normal when I'm gone.

Or maybe that's just because it's all I've ever known.

I dont like confrontation.
In fact I will do almost anything to avoid it if I can
Thats probably what makes me a good manager-- because I'm able to diffuse a situation before it becomes one
That's also probably why I let the trash pile up on the patio for weeks until we recieved an eviction notice
Because I'm scared of confrontation

I'm scared to tell you it hurts me that I've done the dishes the last 3 times because you wont put in a maintenance request to fix the dishwasher but I can't because you want to be here when someone comes.
I'm scared to tell you I hate that I'm the only one who takes out the trash because you ***** and gag if you touch a trash bag
Well I'm gagging too, but it has to be done because we're adults.
I'm always so happy when I come home and find the trash to be gone only to open the pantry and find the bags there. Only to open the balcony door and find the trash there.
Now that I think about it, you always complain that you'll throw up if you do it and I think that's a form of gaslighting.
I'm scared to tell you that instead of buying supplies to make cobbler when we had no food in the house, you should have bought basic materials to eat or god forbid a plunger because your toilets been clogged for 3 weeks and you have to use mine.

I'm scared to tell you I hate your rabbit and the fact that it chewed up 4 of my phone chargers, my echo plug, my laptop cord, vaccum, and is now tearing up my carpet. Oh also the fact that it's YOUR rabbit and I had to buy you hay when you were running low, but you could buy another fish tank we dont have room for.

I'm scared to tell you these habits of yours are bothering me because you're no longer lucid and I think you're slightly addicted---but everytime your boyfriend brings that up you complain.

I'm scared of confrontation. So tonight I made 4 trips to the dumpster at 2am filling my car up with garbage bag after garbage bag because I was embarrassed of how much trash we had and I didn't want the neighbors to hear or see.

I told you I was doing it at that time expecting your help, but instead you told our guest you'd waited all day for me to do it and took a trazodone and fell asleep.

Tomorrow I can already tell I'll have to wear my braces and use my cane.

Tomorrow I'll wake with baggy eyes from a sleepless night of anger of frustration of worry of tears from the fear that comes with the confrontation of the text I sent you asking you to please take out the last of the 3 trash bags by the door.

I'm waiting for the excuses.

I've been going through
a long dry spell, an arid
wasteland of the mind.
Writer's block is hell.
It's an empty nest,
a dead baby bird in
the wet grass--ant eaten eyes.
It smells like plastic flowers on
a tombstone.
I'm lost and starving in
the Whiteness.
Why can't I write?
Have I drank my mind
into mush?
The poems don't come like
they used to; the click is gone.
Sometimes, there were
four or five a night.
They swam from the
rivers of my soul.
They were my food and my light,
and my wings.
A good poem is like
smacking the ball out of
the park, or like coming together after
hours of foreplay.
Writer's block is a
limp ****, a miscarriage, an empty gun.
It's like having a stomach ache,
and not being able to *****.

Everywhere I go, I am
surrounded by convicts, and a
maze of walls.
My mind and spirit are
not in prison though.
They fly over the razor wire like
the falcon I saw through the
bars on the window.
It pierced the clouds like a bullet.
I will make the next
poem a feast.
Blood and feathers will
fall from my chin.
Ambrosia will course through
my veins, and I will
sing and soar from
the depths of my cage.