Oh, glorious and mysterious and wonderful creature

Before I knew of your oh so humbling features

I knew not the reaches of beauty in nature

But now I can see your elegance and mien

Outlined in the glowing stars of Ursa Major

Oh, having seen your dazzling sheen

Your enchanting colors, earthy and green

The wonders of nature are suddenly seen



I hear how the winds howl for you

How the lonely wolves cry not to the moon

Can you hear in their voices? It’s for you that they croon

When the beastly lion was crowned the king

They must’ve not heard how pleasantly you sing

For anyone who heard your siren-like tune

Would certainly crown you before the break of noon



Any creature, shark or flea

Surely admires the allure of he

The toad

The creation so splendid and fair

A sure sign that of nature, we should take good care

jumping jacks
slimy smiles
fantastic froggy

Happily Never After (the Second Curse of the ***** Toad)
by Michael R. Burch

He did not think of love of Her at all
frog-plangent nights, as moons engoldened roads
through crumbling stonewalled provinces, where toads
(nee princes) ruled in chinks and grew so small
at last to be invisible. He smiled
(the fables erred so curiously), and thought
bemusedly of being reconciled
to human flesh, because his heart was not
incapable of love, but, being cursed
a second time, could only love a toad’s . . .
and listened as inflated frogs rehearsed
cheekbulging tales of anguish from green moats . . .
and thought of her soft croak, her skin fine-warted,
his anemic flesh, and how true love was thwarted.

Originally published by Romantics Quarterly. Keywords/Tags: frog, *****, toad, prince, princess, curse, kiss, fable, true, love, magic, spell, croak, kingdom



Happily Never After
by Michael R. Burch

Happily never after, we lived unmerrily
(write it!—like disaster) in Our Kingdom by the See
as the man from Porlock’s laughter drowned out love’s threnody.

We ditched the red wheelbarrow in slovenly Tennessee
and made a picturebook of poems, a postcard for Tse-Tse,
a list of resolutions we knew we couldn’t keep,
and asylum decorations for the King in his dark sleep.

We made it new so often strange newness, wearing old,
peeled off, and something rotten gleamed dull yellow, not like gold:—
like carelessness, or cowardice, and redolent of ***.
We stumbled off, our awkwardness—new Keystone comedy.

Huge cloudy symbols blocked the sun; onlookers strained to see.
We said We were the only One. Our gaseous Melody
had made us Joshuas, and so—the Bible, new-rewrit,
with god removed, replaced by Show and Glyphics and Sanskrit,
seemed marvelous to Us, although King Ezra said, “It’s S—t.”

We spent unhappy hours in Our Kingdom of the Pea,
drunk on such Awesome Power only Emperors can See.
We were Imagists and Vorticists, Projectivists, a Dunce,
Anarchists and Antarcticists and anti-Christs, and once
We’d made the world Our oyster and stowed away the pearl
of Our too-, too-polished wisdom, unanchored of the world,
We sailed away to Lilliput, to Our Kingdom by the See
and piped the rats to join Us, to live unmerrily
hereever and hereafter, in Our Kingdom of the Pea,
in the miniature ship Disaster in a jar in Tennessee.


More Nonsense Verse by Michael R. Burch


There was an old man from Peru
who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in the night
with a terrible fright
to discover his dream had come true.
—Variation on a classic limerick by Michael R. Burch


Although I prefer
onions
to bunions,
begging your pardon sir,
I still primarily defer
to legal ******.
—Michael R. Burch


Anti-Vegan Manifesto
by Michael R. Burch

Let us
avoid lettuce,
sincerely,
and also celery!


Ding **** ...
by Michael R. Burch

for Fliss

An impertinent bit of sunlight
defeated a goddess, NIGHT.
"Hooray!," cried the clover,
"Her reign is over!
But she certainly gave us a fright!"


The Flu Fly Flew
by Michael R. Burch

A fly with the flu foully flew
up my nose—thought I’d die—had to sue!
Was the small villain fined?
An abrupt judge declined
my case, since I’d “failed to achoo!”


The Humpback
by Michael R. Burch

The humpback is a gullet
equipped with snarky fins.
It has a winning smile:
and when it SMILES, it wins
as miles and miles of herring
excite its fearsome grins.
So beware, unwary whalers,
lest you drown, sans feet and shins!


Hell-Bound Hounds
by Michael R. Burch

We have five dogs and every one’s a sinner!
I swear it’s true—they’ll steal each other’s dinner!
They’ll **** before they’re married. That’s unlawful!
They’ll even ***** in public. Eek, so awful!

And when it’s time for treats (don’t gasp!), they’ll beg!
They have no pride! They’ll even **** your leg!
Our oldest Yorkie murdered dear, sweet Olive,
our helpless hamster! None will go to college

or work to pay their room and board, or vets!
When the Devil says, “*** here!” they all yip, “Let’s!”
And yet they’re sweet and loyal, so I doubt
the Lord will dump them in hell’s dark redoubt...

which means there’s hope for you, perhaps for me.
But as for cats? I say, “Best wait and see.”


Menu Venue
by Michael R. Burch

At the passing of the shark
the dolphins cried Hark!;
cute cuttlefish sighed, Gee
there will be a serener sea
to its utmost periphery!;
the dogfish barked,
so joyously!;
pink porpoises piped Whee!
excitedly,
delightedly.
But ...
Will there be as much glee
when there’s no you and me?


Kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’
by Michael R. Burch

Kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’
the bees rise
in a dizzy circle of two.
Oh, when I’m with you,
I feel like kissin’ ’n’ buzzin’ too.

how do you still make my heart
fester and swell and thump thumpity
jump to the brim of my throat
like a frog waiting to belch it’s
morning croak croakity—
choking back his thick, velvety shot of tarish espresso
knowing **** well there was nothing else in the world
he wanted to drink drinkity, let
sink sinkity into the lining of his stomach
to drown out the fluttering butterflies
of self afflicting lust. tsk.

and now i can’t even look your way,
without feeling like I took a step
steppity
LEPT too far, and i missed the lilypad
by an inch!
so of course, I splashed splashity
crashed into its chill— still surface,
distorting it and rippling my surroundings
still while being submerged
in this silly, suffocating. pond i call
delusion.

w.c.

As the fox watches in the bushes, He notices two frogs minding their existence.
The fox stares at the water dwellers with ill intent in his heart, but as the fox waits for a time to strike. He soon comes to realize that he would intrude upon a scene he was not meant to see. As the fox retreats from the pond, much to the dismay of his empty stomach, he finds that his companion brought something for both of them.

A fish can say to a frog
   "I am a tree
    And you a leaf"
But that doesn't make it so
In truth or shade
Midst nature and in light
They were designed as neither such to be
On top of which
It's different languages they speak

All the animals have come to play,
before you gently rest your head.
They have been waiting all day,
to see you before you to go to bed.

The bunny excitedly jumps around,
wiggling his nose, not making a sound.
The teddy bear, a faithful friend,
hopes the friendship will never end.

The lion awakens from his slumber,
his growl as loud as thunder.
The panda eats his bamboo,
thinking he is lucky to have found you.

The frog with his body of green,
jumps on the bed with dangling feet.
Do not forget the elephant with floppy ears
for drying up your tiny tears.

ALesiach © 11/6/2014

i often wonder
if perfection
is attainable
in simple things
like a rose
although it has thorns.
like the neon frogs
despite its poison.
like the sun
despite it's blinding beauty.
in you,
although all you've ever done is hurt me

Here come dat boi hey wassup?
Here come dat boi hey wassup?
Here come dat boi hey wassup?
Here come dat boi hey wassup?
Watch him rollin watch him go
Watch him rollin watch him go
He be rolling down the street he be rolling to dat beat
He be rolling down the street he be rolling to dat beat
Watch him roll
Hey wassup
Watch him roll
HEY WASSUP!!!