I act all tough
But underneath the surface
I am fragile.

Because I hide my pain
You break me over and over again.

I constantly seek your approval
But no matter how hard I try
I never get it.

Because I don’t understand
I see myself as the problem.

I look for answers in my flaws
When in reality
The problem is you.

i'm sorry
i'm ****** up
at least that's what i think
i promise i'm trying to be better
if not for you then me
i just wanna be the starry sky you see
when your alone at sea
but i can't
because i'm falling apart
i'm becoming a skeleton
that can't hold itself together
i wanted to be the thing that brought light to your darkest nights
but i can't even create enough light
to diminish the darkness in all of mine
i'm sorry
i've been trying to ******* hard
but it didn't work and now all of you are gone
i need to find the strength again
and i'm searching ******* everywhere
maybe i'll find it soon
and i'll pull myself together
maybe you've found the light for your nights
and i could've never done that
but at least i'm trying, i've tried, and i don't think i'll ever stop
at least i've found the love i've always needed
not in all the people that i found but the ones that found me
and i'm not the only one trying to bring light in others lives
there's light here and there's people here too
trying has never failed me, so i'll continue to
and even when the trying's hard at least their trying to

A child who's eyes shone bright
Entered an unwanted fight
A friend who has lost his way
Watches as his life fades away
The two who both were mistaken
Have had their innocence taken

A teen who's eyes shone dark
Is ready to finally embark
A grave who has lost his role
Watches over the teen's soul
The two who met with calamity
Have held on to their amity

I don't remember how our faces look like
but I know yours was so beautiful
I don't know what our names are
but I know yours brings comfort
I don't know who I am
but you are here

It’s been the longest month,
Missing you.
My heart seemed to grow,
Fonder despite my distance from you.

Seeing you here again,
Fills my body with ecstasy.
But I have to play the role of the friend,
As I don’t know if you’re ready for me.

And I wish that I could be someone else,
Someone who has the courage to tell you.
To tell you that the truth is,
I think I might be falling in love with you.

But I can’t say it,
Now’s not the time,
You’re not ready for it,
I wish that I could read your mind,

But please fool me a little more,
Pretend I stand a chance like I thought before,
Even if you’ll never want me that way,
I’d be nice to think that you might some day.

I don’t know what to believe,
I don’t know what to feel.
You’ve managed to make me question,
If anything we shared was even real.

I don’t know what to say,
How do I question your darkest secrets?
Made me feel like I was your friend,
But you filled my trust with lies and that's all we have between us.

I don’t know if anything we had was true,
That’s my punishment for trusting you.
One tiny white lie raises doubt,
And it snowballs and makes me wanna push you out.

And I don’t want to hurt you,
I know you’ve got your reasons.
But you’re not someone I can believe in,
And there’s nothing here to stop me from leaving.

So I’m wishing you the best,
I hope you can get help.
But I had to walk away,
Because I owe it to myself.

Not something I wanted
Or planned for
Happened today
A boy
Was decent
No physical tension
Or ****** implications
The air was light
The conversation between
Just friends
Flowed like a breeze
I cancelled my next **** appointment
That desire came to an end
Because I realized
I just want another male friend