Can I be selfish for once?
Can i leave my friends because i cannot deal with fighting for them
When i am already fighting to survive
I want to be selfish
I want to cry in front of my girlfriend and have her hug me
I want to curl in a ball and go quiet wishes for touch
But i cant
If im selfish i will loose my best friend
So i will run myself into the ground
If im selfish i will lose you
#i want you
So i will breathe another day, for you
But one day it will get too much
And i wont fight for you
Because i didnt fight for myself

Its been 9 months-
9 months since i last saw you smile at me
since we laughed on the walk home
since u loved me

9 months of trying to understand what I did wrong
What made me so irritated?
Everyone tells me it's your fault.
And I know that but
Why does it still hurt when we brush past each other?

I'd rather be with friends
than on the receiving end
of another certification
of my value in the tainted nation
fated to find its way back to masters
who offer no explanation
as to why they cast this draining paper
into a world that could be castless
if only we checked our own behaviour.

I'd rather be with friends
than working on a promised future
my abuser talking of a nuisance youth
and pointing fingers saying 'useless'
while they stuff us into suits
and boots that bare no resemblance
to the feet that marked our ascendance,
I seek not vengeance for the things we lost
I simply wish to reduce the cost
of being what we've become
cold and lost
and to continue what we've begun
to press on despite the cost and animosity
and all the atrocities
despite this we strive to build a world
that tempers its ferocity
and lets me be.

With friends.

A friend said today you don't speak as much,
Another told me you don't feel the same,
Honestly it's not like I hold any grudge,
It's just that my friends don't feel "friends" anymore,
I don't what else to write , my words don't feel enough anymore.

Forget every pain
While playing in this rain
Everyone will get happiness
In the pose of oneness

Whenever I falter
Just give me shelter
No cut paste at any waste
feel the oneness at every taste

Unheard desire to express
Time heals from severe stress
Rain weaves dreams
Oceanic Feelings at various streams
Dreams are on eyelids
Breezing with Cold winds

Forget every pain
While playing in this rain
Everyone will get happiness
In the pose of oneness...........(2)

Even when i made the wish, apon evrey shooting star;
finding a place where i could keep you in my life, grew ever so more afar.

you lost all my respect, and even more so my trust;
Because all you wanted to do was lie, and hide in lust.

And now i wounder, if one day my heart will ever mend;
Or am i just waiting for my life, to finally come to an end..

Clearly I see
That my diligent Ego
Ran Me into Me
Mad cop versus Good Cop

Clearly I seek
A real life
Where Me is a fan of Me again
Where I am not my undoing
Instead, I am my best asset
My best friend.

so you made me choose
between losing myself and losing you

and I'm still here