The alligator in my dreams
Stomped on all my pretty things
He gobbled down
My favorite clown
He quickly tuned around
Chased me till he found
All he need do is open his jaws
In I'd crawl
In the belly of the beast
I found the thief
That stole my heart
So I took back my part
Turned around and strolled right out
Between the teeth, in that beast's snout
Pinched myself, so I would awaken
So I could placed back the heart that's was forsaken

I'm lost
when his hands are out of reach
and all is
inaccessible now he leaves

I've lost
everything I imagined us to be
and all is
inaccessible in my dreams

He's gone
and still I reach for something
that's just as
inaccessible as it seems

God will never forsake people but many have forsaken him.
We need God now more than ever because things are so grim.
Many have chosen to forsake God and live such sinful ways.
But the Lord isn't like that, he's in my heart and he's here to stay.
Some people do or sell drugs, some are greedy and some steal.
Others commit ****, adultery, arson and some even ****.
But those people will eventually suffer because of their wicked ways.
Every one of those people will face God's judgement and they will pay.

He sits with his arm draped around his girl,
Everyone knows they're together,
They all see them,
Together. Happy.

They don't see his eyes wonder,
to the same plain girl,
with scars like snakes on her arms,
Alone. Quite.

He thinks of her,
Longs for her,
wants her,
Morbid. Disgusting.

He wants the girl in his arms,
to be her,
he forgets of the world.
Her. Him. Together.

I walked a summer day, warm and fair
Thirst my only burden, and lightly so
For all was light before the sun
I found a rabbit upon the ground

He lay on the soil, shivering
Despite the bright he grew cold
Beside him a hemlock plant was cut
I stayed with him till the end.

I sat in the buttercups and poison leaves
And spoke to him.
'I am sorry, wise friend, for you who knew all
Could not make a gambit of this ****.'

I lay him to rest and walked on, the thirst taking hold
And met a fawn, poison creeping through her too
Her legs shook, I held them tight
And spoke to her.

'Alas, many of you, wise friends have fallen to this evil,
On this wonderful day I feel nothing but remorse
A fear of what has befallen you,
Why did you not run?'

The fawn, sharp of eye and tongue, yet deep of heart
Said nothing, though her eyes were full of words
I lay with her and read her pity
'Til the very end.

Lastly, taking my throat in dry anguish
I walked on, the heat now unbearable,
The path lay ahead
With broken souls of wise thinkers

I heard, in my anguish
A hoot, and looked up
An owl on a branch who did not cry
But could not fly for torment

'Why have all these great beings fallen?'
I asked him, sour of tongue
He could not speak, but pointed
At the old forest, which was no more

In its place, fields of hemlock stood
Before it I could not, and wept.

'You see, dear human, our forest is gone
And with it our world and our souls
Your kind has committed what we would call wrong,
But you would call reaching your goals.

With nothing to eat, they fed on the stalks,
With nothing to drink, they drank of the sap
Great thinkers and knowers these walkers of walks
Are fallen at the claws of your trap.'

And with his words in my mind he flew from his tree
And fled the fields for the sky
Above me the mountains, below me the sea
My thirst was such that my eye

Sought out some water, but such was there none
Just hemlock, and that I did take
I drank of the sap and like them I was done
Like my own kind my life was forsake'.

My bed has become too big for me.

And not in the sense where my limbs are dangling off the edges,
But in the sense that there shouldn't be just one person lying alone in the dark listening to the stories the walls are telling.

I've come to the point where my tears either burn on my skin like the razor blades you once turned me off of or I've not any left to shed
Because my soul has become as dry as the desert on account of bleeding out until I had no cells left to live for.

There is no more little bird fluttering it's wings to help me know I'm alive, its pulse has left with mine to go off to paradise and ive become a walking distaster-piece trying to find any amount of solace in being forsaken.

My bed beckons me to come back; to uncover it of whatever clean laundry I didn't feel strongly enough about to put in its proper place, to lay down in its arms again and stay a while..

But I no longer find comfort there.

See, my couch has only room for me just as my heart only had room for you, but now I've been left vacant like another apartment after the lease has expired.

I may as well wonder around with a sign reading 'Damaged heart for rent, contact Valerie at 1-800-MYFEELINGSDON'TMATTER' as advertisement.

I've clearly peaked your interest as some sort of toy long enough for you to continuously return and play with me.

So, go ahead and make an attempt at erasing the history we have between us, officially published or not it still exists and it still bestows significance within our lives.
In yours.
In mine.

You pick up your phone, your hand trembling as your fingertips carress the numbers designed to reach me and me especially.

Go ahead and make love to me one day and then later treat it like a one night stand because I don't have emotions and God FORBID I would call you out on the way you kissed me goodbye that night and didn't talk to me for days following.

You carefully reach towards the green call button to make the engagement more realistic.

Go ahead and abandon me like everyone else, I don't expect you to need me when I don't even need myself.

"I'm sorry. The number you have dialed is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error please check the number and try again."

1-800-MYFEELINGSDON'TMATTER

I'm going back to bed.

I cursed every tear that dripped from my blue forsaken eyes, rolled down my cheeks, to rest at my lips, the ones that never got to call you dad.