It was the thought i had that set me on fire that day.

It was only three years ago when I realized I was stuck in a limbo,
constantly living the same results time and time again.

A bird would sit beside me
No, a cat
And would peer into my soul with the wicked eyes of blue.

"I see what you're thinking"
It would seem to say, and I would cower in my mind
descending into darkness,
time becoming absent
chaos becoming the realm i reside in

channeling every demon and every sin i ever committed
why
why
why
I would drone
balled up fury begging to go back home
and in that darkness came clarity

this is not what's meant to be
im ok
i'm ok
i'm ok.
I'm ok.
It became my mantra
singing the sour revival of my brittle broken soul
ascending

back into reality
and with that came the question

If this were where I were to end,
i would be stopping a great story from finishing

And i came back to life.
Just like that


A rollercoaster never-ending
From life
To death
Like a merry-go-round
I see it coming
It sees me leaving

Forever being chased around until the endless darkness swallows me whole

and that...that scares me

smooth
sounds pouring out the walls
bouncing from ceiling to floor and back again
waiting for a call from a certain friend
never thought today would be the end
of this whole ordeal
although i don't think it is
i tried to steal
but she never missed
never cried over myself
always there for me
never needed my help
and the sounds worked their way back to my ears
pounding, drumming, not quite clear
and i accepted what had become of this day
and anticipated the next
with no delay