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Liz Carlson Aug 2018
i long for the body i used to have.
strong and fierce.

obsessing over my weight
and the food i consume
comes far too easily.

can't be mentally stable and healthy,
can't be happy and healthy.

no solution.
that Se function in INFJs though... OBSESSIVE.
Willow Aug 2018
Age 4, Your father broke your heart before any boy had the chance too.

Your life will be completely different without a father

Age 5, No one to call you princess

You cry when you see your friend's father call them princess

Age 6, No one to hug you when you cry from bullies

You hate going to school

Age 7, No one to tell you "I'll beat up every guy that hurts you"

You don't get to laugh when he says that

Age 8, No one to tell you are beautiful

You hate your body and think your fat

Age 9, No one to tell you "It's okay"

You cry yourself to sleep every night

Age 10, No one to tell you, "You are perfect"

You think you are the ugliest person in your school

Age 11, No one to tell you, "You are too young for boys"

You get your heart broken over and over too young

Age 12, Your father is not there

You miss him and ask yourself why he left

Age 13, Being told you have "Daddy Issues"

Age 14, No father to tell you, "You look beautiful without make up"

You beat your face with make up

Age 15, No father to say to your first date, "If you hurt her, I will **** you"

You get hurt

Age 16, No one to dance with you when they call in daddy daughter dance on your sweet sixteen

You ask yourself why he left again

Age 17, No one to tell you to change out of that clothes because he knows guys couldn't resist

You might get *****.

Age 18, No one to tell you, "My little princess, you have come so far, I am a proud father"

You see all your friend's father telling them this and miss you

Age 19, No one to warn you about ***** boys

You have to fight off a guy

Age 20, No one to tell your boyfriend, "I have a rifle, I am not afraid to use it"

You don't get to say "Dad!!!"

18+ age, No one to walk you down the aisle

You tell yourself, "I made it, I made it through the good and bad"
You have a husband or wife or neither, you made it without him.
You made it through the tears, the heart aches, the pain of missing him. He missed your whole life, you realize he didn't deserve you or seeing your life grow.
Nina Campos Jul 2018
Eat
You need to be, to be beautiful
But I can’t
My tears in the dark make me ugly
My insides are rotting
My heart is icing
Like on a cake
But I ate too much
You tell me how I shake the world
And it hurts me
My bones break
My back bends
My muscles hurt
I still keep up with your requests
You want me to be beautiful
But I can’t change how you make me feel
KAE Jul 2018
I used to have an issue with my body.
Three years ago. 2015. The year of horrors.
My weight was 60 kilograms and I don’t remember if I had a few grams more, but it doesn’t a matter. The issues is that I was a bit fat. I have never been fat. I was sad about it and I had a lot of problems more in that year.
My principal problem was that when all of my girlfriends developed their body, I had a little girl body. My body begins to develop and that was when I turned fat, I didn’t like myself, personal problems, more issues. I increased 15 kilograms. I was really depressed. I started hating me more.
Between 2016 and 2017, my body started changing. I lost weight, I hadn’t got issues with me anymore. That was really amazing.
End of 2017 and this year (2018), my body changed completely. I don’t have the body that I used to own in 2015. I am thin and happy, but sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, unconsciously I see myself as I was in 2015, fat.
That kills me.
Kills me more knowing that I couldn’t talk with my mother about it, because she didn’t understand it. But I could talk with my best friend and with my auntie because they understand it. I’m thankful about it.
What more kills me is the fact that I know that my body it’s thin but my mind shows me another thing, which I hate and makes me sad.
But today, July 25, 2018. My weight is 48 kilograms. I see the real me. I see myself thin. Now my unconscious accepts that I’m thin again. I’m really happy now because that is the body that I had all my entire life, that is the body that I want and which I’m in love with. I’m glad that I got back what I always wanted.
Laura Jul 2018
Bun o'clock
I'm hungry but I don't say anything
Because I can hold on longer

Chew pm
Someone says I look thin
Have I lost weight??

Three pounds
Potentially three pounds
But I don't know because I always think I look bloated

Four ice cubes to tie me over
I don't need to eat
I'm okay

Five fat shaming *******
Stroll past me in their skinny jeans
Reminding me who deserves to be a size 0

Tricks o' the mind
Start to play
As I tell myself I don't need to eat because I did yesterday

Age seven is when
Mama first told me to stretch my shirts
Hide my figure
Watch what I eat
Stop taking second helpings
No dessert

Eight
Looks like a couple of donuts.
Muffins.  Pizzas.
Any round food.
My round stomach.

Nibble pm.
It's okay to eat a little?  Maybe?

Ten pm?
Or ten candy bars?

Eleven hours later
Nothing in my belly
But four ice cubes

Twelve: time to taunt my taste buds
Trick myself
Tell myself that I'll eat tomorrow
Tomorrow will be the day
The day I really splurge
Everyone knows that's a lie
But my tummy doesn't
Sarah Maher Jun 2018
I look in  the mirror.
I hate what I see.
I squeeze myself into my clothes.
I am disgusted.
They all say, "You're beautiful."
But why don't I believe them?
I should have control over the way I look.
But I don't.
I have no will power.
Time to buckle down and make some changes.
I WILL lose the weight.
I WILL stay active.
I WILL push myself to get stuff done.
I WILL continue to fight.
BUT
BUT
BUT
I WILL NOT GIVE UP.
Again
Aa Harvey Jun 2018
Weight watchers paradise


Lemon pies, with feathered wings,
Floating in the sky, as the sun sits and glistens,
Against their skin; yes the beautiful people.
The ones who say, all that food is pure evil.


The bright morning sun kills off the dark blue night
And shows us the way to a weight watchers paradise,
With cream filled donuts and chocolate gold bars,
With the sponge cake motorways, full of jelly made motor cars.


So super-size me; put me on the Elvis diet.
I can’t talk right now, for I have to eat.
Oh and don’t forget, to cut the bacon off my fat;
I have no wish, to look anorexic.


Big, fat and beautiful, look at me!
All you jealous skinny girls, are only jealous of these.
My two lethal weapons, that get me all I want;
So take me to a Heaven, named McDonald’s,
With Burger Kings, feeding on Kentucky Fried Chickens.
This tasty goodness is so **** finger licking.


Rabbit food?  Don’t make me puke!
I have no desire, to become bulimic.
I’m not Princess Di; I have no wish to die.
No I don’t love to watch, my cholesterol level rise;
But I do love my **** body and I do love my super-size.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
georgia sophie Jun 2018
you're fat you're fat you're fat
get skinny get skinny get skinny
i hate myself
i hate not looking the way i want to
i hate looking into mirrors
i hate my reflection
i try to get thinner
nothing ever works
i give into emotion
ugh
what is wrong with me
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