Oh, gentle spring rain...
Softens what bitter winter pain.
Then summer again...
Tears tittered as anxiety falls 'way
But strikes freely as you recall the day
These cries weren’t like a gentle rain—but when you used to play
Alone
That lonely autumn roam on the playground with no home
In which to return.
On yourself you were so stern...
"Never let them in,"
Ascertained, “Love never will begin.”
But here it has begun, and your heart’s song once unsung,
So unsung,
Plays on the brittle harp among this young
Love to whom you’ve now arrived...
They’ve intruded through what fortress fortifies the lies
‘Round the eyes like skies
Once full of birds but now emptier than the glass you leave in the quiet nights.
Safe no more are you in the barbed wire wrapped right wrong over your ribs.
Place down that nimble nib so eloquent with the fib
Of that which you feed yourself in this wintry crib...
The gentle spring rain is the shedding of your skin.
You let love in,
Afraid your bones will break at the first touch,
Wondering which is the last such...

You let love in and your weeps weaken to whimpers
Because you are so tired...your soul is so tired.
And finally you let love in...and you surrender.
To the touch that is so, so tender.
And everything
Is okay.

heart’s heavy like an anvil in my chest
weighing down my entire body and i am filled with a sense of unease and fear
one word repeating it’s self every time i say your name
i’m not i tell myself, i’m not, i can’t be.
this word has turned itself into bullets
piercing my flesh with each mention of it’s cursed syllables
love, love rings a cacophony in my ears
causes a loss of breath and an overflow of tears
am i falling in love? this is what that feels like?
i feel like i a drowning myself in the pacific
my lungs feel heavy and my chest heaves with each gasp for sweet oxygen
constant choke hold, light headed despair
i feel like i’m dying
is that what love is?
i feel like i’m floating
is that what love is?
am i falling in love?
oh god, am i falling in love?
oh god,
i’m falling in love.

I gave you my heart when no one was looking.
The time taken to realize how mature we've become.
I fooled myself into believing substitutes are better than substance.
None of this was true.
Giving perspective to how I sought what I already have.
What I gave was vital.
Exchanging hands while no one looked.
A different insight to what we digested.
How well we perceive.
Learning to be patient while everything around moves.
I gave you my heart when no one was looking
Because it is something that is not easily obtained.
To show a side of me that no one else sees.
Over by the table while no one was looking because what's between us
should stay between us.
I waited until no one was looking as people do things out of spite.
Disguising my heart in a red solo cup.
Careful not to spill a single drop
handing you this cup.
How careful your lips were.
The assumption that forever has an interchangeable appearance.
It was never about what I could buy you.
The exciting places I could take you.
Sure these things come with time,
But the experience of experience itself.
Is what I obsessed with until the very moment.
The momentary happiness material things bring never lasts.
Just as the cup is disposable.
It's the contents that are most fragile.
Cleverly disguised due to our environment.
I felt at ease.
Giving this piece of me to you.
Not of fear.
Not of shame.
This warmth shared in personal awareness.
Your tastebuds the only witness to
What's kept between you and I.
The rest of the party carried on.
While no one was looking we created our own playlist.
Songs beginning with you and I.
Nothing digested ever stays put

And like a stone I fell.
Nothing quite the same.
Knowing stillness, I paced myself.
Falling fast.
Head first.
The best thing I've known.
It's not so bad.
Falling.
The fear of crashing, crumbling into pieces.
This seems the way to go.
Missing the experience that brought fear to life.
Stubborn.
Like a stone.
These cobwebs thrown to the wind.
Finding each breath more desirable than the next.
A feeling that I've waited for.
Sitting still.
Like a rock.
Afraid to fly.
Until you came along.
Shattered into a million pieces.
The expectation of anything else.
Without need to hide your hand

I've never been very good at listening.
I imagine that I resonate with a piece of you that reminds me of the same piece of me.
When I come face to face with this piece.
I realize that not everything can be changed.
That's what makes it important.
Otherwise the urge to speak would never come.
Realizing this occurrence,
It becomes familar.
Not once does fear strike.
All in all there's no interruption.
The well being of ourselves.
The very things that no matter what, we tend to recognize.
No matter the grief.
And like that very thing I become a child.
Not realizing the meaning of being alive.
Within these moments I turn to you for guidance.
I look up and realize a stubbornness.

I admit.
I've never been good at listening.
Although I vocalize the feeling.
We go through extreme measures when the appearance isn't quite right.
In light of innocence I am struck time and time again.
The lashings of what I'll always believe.
It becomes excessive.
Coming into contact with this same piece of me that I have found in you.
That no matter the argument.
We understand that there is an accord that cannot be ignored.
We live in a state where this paradox becomes conscious.
Separating what is right, as well as wrong.
At times we may disagree, proving in these times that it takes growth to be heard.
And I have heard you this whole time.
This piece of me that has fallen in love with every piece of you.
Both stubborn and impatient

I laid across your heart like a bed.
Secure, soaring through the air.
Goodbye to the linen I left back at home.
Stuck in an room.
I felt at ease.
My back falling splat into comfort.
An endless supply of sheets.
Laying in complete peace.
My every woe.
My every ache.
Thereby at the door.
There's nothing outside this moment.
Soon I will be sleep.
That's all left to do.
Snore.
A dream closer than the eye.
Sandman.
Stay where you are.
Away from me and my cache
made of heart.
I hope you don't mind that I've laid here.
Contouring to your every shape.
To lay away in this elation I have towards you.
I hope to catch more than a decent sleep.
My neck twisted left.
In a deep sleep in the contours of your heart

Never fall in love with a stranger,
You never know what lies deeper,
Their heart might have a different intention.
The intention to make you feel eager
to explore the evil of the world,
and lead youself into danger,
they will cast  you when you are deeply in love with them,
and tell you, "we are just strangers"
"What do you mean we are just strangers?"
you will wonder.
Your heart sink into pain because of those four words,
that changed your world,
you realize your mistakes,
and your evil ways,
you feel so sober and plain,
but he is not there say,
"Don't worry, you can lean on me,"
or all those things that made him sound meek,
You feel so lonely,
like you didn't have a life before.
To heal your broken bond,
you made another one,
with a common stranger,
you played with his heart,
and made him fall for you,
you made him miserable after he asked,
"What are we?" and you replied,
"We are just strangers."

Counting the reasons I fell for you
Watching reasons fray
Even if every reason was true
Then they all left me broken in two
And you left me broken just the same

Call the crimes of your magic
That got the best of me
It all looks better from the outside
The posts and pictures we hide behind
Because blind love is the best way to believe

"Loving You Blind" -JP

Not until steping closer.
I realized that I was in the palm of your hand.
I left my parachute without regret,
Moving one step closer staring down.
I deeply wanted to understand how free love was.
Standing here,
Realizing how high up everything really is.
Your palm sustaining my weight.
I wasn't at all anixous.
Now thinking that the wind could have shifted me forward before time.
Constantly aware that at any moment.
I will close my eyes and lean forward.
Pass the ridges of pants and tile floor.
Leaving behind everything I knew best.
My comfort zone.
This was me falling in love.
This was me overcoming my fear of heights
Forever in debt to the strength of your hand

Sitting on that roof with you terrified me. It wasn’t the idea that I was sitting on the edge, seven stories from the ground or even the idea that if I did fall I would instantly die. No, that did not scare me at all. What scared me was you, sitting there across from me.  The feelings I have for you as I am sitting there seem way more frightening to me than actually falling to my death. I am unable to get my head around how irrational my fears are at that time. It would seem that the easier solution for me would be to make myself fall from that roof right then and there than to fall for you.