That flesh’d vizard – does it decay,
So much alike the ******.
My mortal stature – emaciated –
Forthwith; it’s programmed.

Do those lines – like trenches deep –
Carve moats for tears to flow.
And do they flow – like rivers march
My countenance; fallowed.

To rejuvenate – vials and vials,
Ointments in plethora.
I rub and rub, till the vizard cracks
Lo! Restore my aura.

Pseudoscience, falsehoods galore –
A vice of fiscality.
Like a cyst, does it tremor,
Melting my vanity.

Visage – deep – a pick inside my soul.
Those flakes of ego crumb.
A mien so ******, yet so loved…
Can they not see how numb
                         I am.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I listen to praise and ridicule,
I listen to who I seem and
Not who I am or
Who I want to be.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I listen to desire and shame,
I listen to the self-evident lies
That attempt to free me from blame.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
Ignoring the ticking of the clock.
I delude that I have time,
And that whenever I want it will stop.
And if I ask it will extend to me its hand,
And that if I only plead,
Time shall make sure that I succeed...
Somehow.

Ignoring the thoughts of warning,
I forget my inevitable destination:
A place and time where my actions can no longer be redeemed,
A place and time
Where everything is exactly how it seemed,
And my mistakes upon mistakes
Will look out to me in shame
Behind the shoulder of my thoughts of warning
Who emphasize
That I am only to blame.

You are an act of the Creator,
But your ego makes you feel superior
-a tragedy of the human mind.

You can't outrun a Cheetah nor
can you outlive a Banyan tree.
Observe other life far superior than you,
and perceive the higher force all around.

Become humble while there is still time.

Thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking.
Who’d have thought?
My thinking is against me.
It’s pulling at my arms as I try to run.

Stuckstuckstuckstuck
Stuck in the pattern
Emotional quicksand
Dragging me back under
Over and over and over and over and over

I can never escape
  Never escape
The loop

I SCREAMED TO GOD FOR HELP

each time I gasp for air and get dragged back under

I don’t even know if I’m making progress

God give me a sign that I’m making progress