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Specs Jul 2018
A bridge broken from one side to another.
A telephone wire cut.
Something's wrong inside my head.
The thing is, I don't know just what.

Chirping alarms
Whirring fans
Smoky smells
Red. Blinking. Lights.

A robot whose been programmed wrong,
An exposed sparking wire.
The buttons don't click all the way.
Hazardous, watch for fire.

Danger
Danger
Danger
Do not approach

This automatic switch is supposed to make me excited
This one makes a genuine smile.
Nobody notices, though, that I'm on manual control
And have been for a while.

Overheating
Overworking
Overdoing
Over

Electricity and buttons and wires
Do not mix well with water, I think.
But because I'm in desperate need of repair
I'm in constant thirst for a drink.

"Should have bought that extended warranty."
"Did you turn it off and on again?"
No.
No. Because it's broken.

Hard drive shorting
Lights are blinking
And I'm thinking
My last thoughts exporting

Crackling
Clicking
Clattering
Clanking
Clunking

The only thing that works well anymore
Is the part that goes through the motions.
Perseverance is my constant notion
As I burn myself out on the shore.

It's hot to the touch.
Back off.
Soon, it might Explode
Hollow Jan 2018
Don’t be afraid to take a big step, you can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps. David Lloyd George

Chasm
The definition of chasm can come in two forms
1. A deep fissure in the earth, rock, or another surface.
2. A profound difference between people, viewpoints, feelings, etc.

Taking a big step is needed to cross both.
To get over both
and fetch for sanity.
To reach for the furthest branch
To take the leap
To jump and release.

Plummet towards the earth.
Lose all sense of reality
Master containing hope.
Just don’t let go of that rope.

Dangling from the tree of life
Channeling the strength to fight
No other human in sight.
Hindered by the gift of design.
Hindered by the thought of this lie.

Desperate to forge tonight
Hold my body up to the light.
This law we cant defy.  
Is this all we’re willing to try?
Cedric Oct 2017
In front of a silky white chair,
An aura of complete despair,
We try to contrast and compare,
This monochromatic nightmare.

I stand before this noose I dare,
To loop my neck and mark a tear,
On my skin that is not so fair,
A bright red strip exposed and bare.

I try to jump without a care,
The chair and rope comes in a pair,
Yet I loosened it with a swear,
I need to live... a life unfair.
A textula type of poem in English rather than Filipino.
Michaela Ferris Mar 2017
A long day of forced, faked smiles
But you can't see behind a computer screen...
Just my bitter words.

Words I've now said
Which could lay us to rest
Because I can't say I'm feeling insecure,
Just in a bad place.

Breaking down on either end.
Distance holding us back from those three words
Which I've never said to anyone but you.
Now what do I regret?

Why does this always get the better of me?
Tear me down till I lose everything I've ever held close
Because "you're a worthless failure" haunts me,
Tortures me till I stop in my tracks...
Numb... because I can't say I'm really not okay!
I never lost my virginity
At the age of 19
To a boy who promised
That it will not hurt
I never bled
I never bit my lips
I never cried

I never slept with a writer,
Musician, chemist,
An engineer or even a *******
I never tried a pregnancy test kit
I am not scared
Of those two red lines

I never loved my best friend
Or those strangers
Who painfully ripped my body
I love those stains
Of a long forgotten past
Embedded on crumpled sheets  

I was never molested
When I was 5 or so
It was just a game
I never cursed that night
I never hated my brother

I want men to crave for me
I never wanted their affection
I don’t want to ******* **** them
On streets in the middle of the night
With cat calls

I am not depressed
I love my scars
I never took ******
Just to sleep at night
Or wept in the middle of nowhere

I am a strong woman
I am not damaged
I ******* hate this life
It’s too beautiful for someone like me  

This is not a poem
Of a broken girl
I am okay.
I wanna live.
I am not a liar.

A happy girl
Wrote this
Waiting for her prince charming
To free this damsel in distress
From the tower of anguish
And to live happily ever after
Ottar May 2015
hold up a mirror,
say what you said
cracks, in the furor,
when there was three
of you and one of me,
you came at me from
all sides and not one
of them was "on my" side,
world is wide
ocean is deep,
you have too much pride
you are a known creep,
you are all over the details
sink to a new low,
say hello to the great whales,
as they are sounding to
be louder than you
oh let me sink into that
deep blue, I will play
chess all the way to the
bottom, and when I land
it will be lunar, see,
it will be telling, sea,
because the bottom of
the ocean, the sea, the gulf, the lake, the puddle,
already know, my weakness, my muddle,
they are looking for yours,
I warned them you were here,
"Code Name Dysthymia, dear."
It is supposed to be short term, this sack *****, lets the tears out and the water in....

the three, me myself and I, they gang up ... at times.
Ottar Mar 2015
the suns rays stray
bent in an array
no diffusing the display

few shy away from ultraviolet play

skin tones grow red,
hair lighter on the head,
start and finish colours bled,

the corpse moves again instead

The distance from point to point,
the distance from oil to anoint
the distance from toking that first joint,
  
end result was to be broken legs, if the male parent I did disappoint,

Think can become will, with stones of little steps,
A person of another country, is it possible to annex,
Dreamer, truth, no track record of success, the convex

Reflection of the sun, disperses all light
Leaves the fool in the dark
Pound sand,
tasting salty tears
no anger here, for tonight the son ... has faded
Ottar Feb 2015
two eyes,
blank stare,
glazed glasses,
be aware,
of numbness,
of nothing...
must be ice,
no, too nice,
trace a finger, cold can burn,
as much as fire, so can desire,
if ...
can one see beyond,
beyond the flesh,
find inspired fuel,
or a be the fool,
stand before the muse
transparent, transported,
just by moving frosbit lips,
against the willing warmth,
of acceptance,
yet where be the muse,
yet let there be  amuse-
ment,
because this ice is seriously,
frozen to this heart.

No light moments,
may laughter, shatter
the cast cold and surely,
refusing to be released,

it is not the fingers that
need to write but the
block that is the
frozen heart,

move
closer
please.
Not a happy place.
Kara Sep 2014
Its usually happens during the day,
I will catch myself laughing,
radiating genuine joy instead of the usual fraudulent happiness.
I'll feel the relief wash over me like a wave,
carrying away every dark thought i've ever had.
Leaving me feeling weightless and euphoric.
And in that brief moment
I can finally see the rays on sunlight
shining through the murkey waters of my mind.
I will be overwhelmed at the concept
to have finally made it.
To finally see the significant beauty of life
through untainted eyes.

Yet at 2am,
when the worlds asleep and i'm all alone.
The only company being
my bedroom walls.
The air will begin to thicken in my lungs,
and I will forget how to breathe.
The silence will scream at me as the empty
walls start to close in.
I will feel the numbness sink in,
and it will consume me,
as I let the tears fall begin to fall.

I will cry for myself,
and i'll cry for everyone I love.
I will cry for the ones who betrayed me,
and for all the people I have betrayed.
I will cry because there is nothing
I can do to stop the feeling of nothingness
and imense sadness hit me
in these early hours.
Tearing away my sanity with it's
claw like nails.


And only in the early hours
will I curse myself for being so niave,
foolish to think I could ever
escape my mind.
To think that I was ever ok.
I have not been diagnosed with dysthymia, i just get sad sometimes.
Liz Jun 2014
Grayness swells and burns as ice
Coldness fills hollow creeks
My mindless ghost of a shell
But drifts ever so quietly

Ghostly shells as mine
Follow the current
Follow the breeze
Too weak to fight
To swim upstream

Now I am told the sun returns
But will it return without help?
Without artificial dawn?
Will this dusk be everlasting?
Never reaching devil's hour
And never returning to shiny morning

My ghost ever mourning
A loss of some unfamiliar friend
Sick for a home that has never existed
I forever dwell on my oscillating waking

— The End —