Yeah, I know I don't go down like wine;
I'm not one of
gentle
refinements.
I've been told I'm more of a whiskey.
But I swear that tastes like love.
I know because I've drunk the bottle.
If you ever tasted-
You know there's no such thing called a glass.

You kind of remind me of her, when you laugh,
and your brown crow's feet
lines smile, and I can't help but wonder
what you're doing here
at a place like this
dark and empty and stained
with beer so I'll order you another drink
from the bartender and pay in cash
and conversate and stare
(and by the way, that's a cute hat)
because you remind me
so much of her.

MThis is the month
Momma sets up the christmas tree
Daddy helps string the lights
Brother puts the ornaments on the bright tree
I sip my sweet tea
Sister And I set up the miniture christmas village
The christmas tree and village are created
Warm coco and candy canes await
Across the street the another New York Family
Is setting up their own tree
Back at the gold's
Coco is slurped And candy
Chewn but really all the presents
Under the tree soon to be seen have a happy
Place to be til christmas
*then to come will be a special New Years and it's Eve

he always asks,
what's there to enjoy about alcohol? It tastes disgusting.
I reply every time,
alcohol is not to be enjoyed. You drink fruit punch if you want to drink something for taste. Alcohol is to get rid of the even worse taste in your mouth that every awful person in your life has left.

Sometimes after I've
Had a drink or two,
Or a few more,
I convince myself that I can
Find what I want
In the superficial distractions,
Building my ego in faked conversations,
Pretending to be the careless girl
I've never really been able to be,
But pass me one more beer
So I can text every other
Y-chromosome in my phone
And pretend the meaningless
Exchange of dialogue
Even minimally replaces the gross
Urge I repress
To send you the stifled sonnets
That lay dormant at the pit of
My suppression.

first date conversation: research
on lemurs and taxis without floors
because the city is too poor
for upscale renovation

and we exchange backgrounds and
drug stories and some-day-soon
kind of musings

/a southern peach and a sour
stiletto; the man in corner singing
slowly Nobody's Child/

and eventually we write our names in chalk
on the ceiling (and the wall because
I'm tired of places appearing as if I'd
never been there at all)

and later still we write our names in heat
against the cloudy window (twice
because the steam keeps swallowing up
our evidence of existence)

but it's easy to write again and
again because our names are the same
and I'm starting to believe in this idea
of genuine permanence

Drink
After drink
After drink
He gave more without asking
I wasn't paying so what did I care

Drink
After drink
After drink
He took me home
To his home that is

Tried
Dizzy
Numb
I could feel it
It hit

Lay down just for a little bit
Ten minutes
Twenty minutes
How did I end up in his bed?

I want to sleep
I'm safe I know him
Silent without a peep
He likes me I know it
I can trust him I've known him for years
It was only a few beers

Stop
It's not what I want
Different I was wrong
You were worse than him

I no longer feel safe
I can't move
Too many drinks
I don't want this

We were suppose to be something
Move slow
You were my friend
My dignity was at the end

You took it from me
My thoughts won't let me be
I know I should blame you
But I was dumb enough to think what we had was true

Chilling with my crew
doing what we do
drinking some brew
not too many, just a few

We are in the bay tonight
The weather is just right
No ******* trying to fight
friends got their pipe, trees & a light

Happy girl right here
Thinking of someone makes me smile ear to ear
So get me a beer
Raise your glass & cheer

So high you can’t stand straight.
So you call me up even though it’s late.
It’s been six months since the last time we talked,
But at 2 a.m I took that extra long walk.
I was tired as ****, but I definitely did it,
Because I still cared for you,
Even though I should have quit it.

I carried you home that night on my back.
And the next day, you didn’t even have the courtesy to text me back.
Until three months later when you were in the same predicament.
And once again, I got up to take care of your incident.

That night you were too drunk to drive,
Even though you grabbed your keys and were about to say goodbye.
Luckily, your friend Lucy called me on my phone.
Said she wanted me to take you home.

I tucked you into bed and I told you goodnight,
Slept on the couch, until the day shined light.
And in walked your mom, She asked why I wasn’t home.
I had to tell her I didn’t want you sleeping alone.

I said you were sick and I just left.
I did want to be the one to talk about our mess.
After that day, we never said hi,
Even though I saw you getting high
Right after school by the coffee shop,
I just walked pass, didn’t want to stop.

You didn’t make any moves,
I guess that’s cool.
Just realize what I did for you.

What I did was love after you ****** me over,
Before our relationship, I was like your brother.
And like my real family, you just walked out.
Explanation is the key sentence you left out.

It’s all good though; I try not to care anyways.
I try to stay positive, look forward to better days.
I’ll find love, and maybe this time it’ll be different.
That’s if I buck up and just listen.

He stepped into the bar like a refugee finally hitting free land.
The cool washed over him as inevitably everyone turned around to see who was coming through the door.

You always saw people come through here during the summer the marina drew them in like flies to honey in this stranger was no different than the rest.
What can I help you with pal I asked knowing full well what his answer would be but hey it's my ******* job all right.

As I'd expected he was just here launching a boat .
The weather was perfect the water as smooth as glass but this man wasn't  out for enjoyment as I can see out the window at the dock his family waiting impatiently for him to get his *** out there and get this little family get-together on the road so to speak.

Want a beer bud , I asked.
Man I ******* wish might make this trip a little fun actually he said in a he wasn't really joking kind of manner.

It's always good to see someone stripped of their ***** a person who works there *** off all week only to be tortured just a little bit more on his off time maybe  that's why never had family or maybe I was just a self-centered ******* you probably agree with the latter.

So you off with the family for a little boat ride huh?
Yeah man I wish I was sitting here in this ice cold air conditioner drinking a even colder beer **** it would be nice, he said as no later did his new mother  better known as his wife opened the door.

David come on were  waiting so  get your *** in gear, The high-pitched speaking banshee yelled looking up at a room full of drunks in a repulsed manner such a charming woman no wonder this man had a look in his eyes like he rather chew through his own wrist then set sail with his charming wife and already bored and over it children.

I'm coming Gloria he replied as he looked back to me and rolled his eyes.
She slammed the door as she stomped off like a little child who'd been denied a toy from a store.

The man paid his launching fee  as he turned to leave I told him to wait.
As I poured a stiff double bourbon placing it down on the bar in front of him.

He looked at me, puzzled I didn't order that.
No my friend but you dam sure need it and I said to him.
Well I can argue with that one he took the shot kicked it back like a man wandering the desert who just discovered a oasis.

Hey man you know of any places out there on the sound that got really good views he asked me as I poured him another double.
Just then a just of age brunette walked to the bar in a pair of tight shorts and a  snug top and leaned over the bar hey there I'll have my usual she said shooting me and the stranger a smile that I'm sure had gotten her more than just prompt service before.

The poor sap stared at this young woman like a prisoner seeing some half naked young thing driving by in a convertible waving to him as he stood on the other side of the fence.

Well amigo as for the water I can't really say but from where I stand the ******* view is outstanding.

The guy took one last shot and headed out the door and as the launched his boat he nodded his head as he shot me a look like **** I wish  I was staying at the bar.

I just nodded my head and turned my back.
Yes for some the white picket fence the dog out in the front yard shtting all over their lawn screaming kids and wife who greet you every day when you get home and secretly plots to poison you or **** you in your sleep.

Yes that delusion cast dream may seem like a stable paradise for some.
But viewing the beautiful wicked little creature across the bar seemed a far better evening than one spent in a nonstop ******* purgatory.

Cheers stay crazy

Gonzo