(n.   a state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence)

Maybe it's the thrill of adventure that lures you-
The thought of getting caught red-handed,
The feeling of flesh parting and revealing,
The spray of fresh warm blood on your skin.

Maybe it's a thirst that spur you forward-
The need for the adrenaline rushes,
The desire for vengeance or payback,
The want to fulfill your deep blood lust.

And so it happens, swing after swing after swing-
Ruptured veins and crimson staining your vision and soul-
As hateful and warm as the hell you know you'll burn in-
Come what may, you think, as you fall and the kuebiko settles in.

I went to visit my friend, Frank
I shouted his name and to no response...
this was the first time in six months
that I went to visit him....
he already depressed about losing his father
and having his wife leave him....
I tried to get his number, to call him
but... he simply disappeared
I got in touch with one of his co-workers
to get his address...

the first I notice when I visited was the unhinged doors
and the broken wine bottles

I went to the kitchen
the first thing I noticed there was the smell of spoiled milk
and the first thing I saw were the rat droppings
and roaches crawling in the bread pantry

I spotted the rusty knives, and smashed plates
the walls were filled with fungus and mold
the roof was the leaking and the doors
were torn off their hinges....
the garbage bags were ripped apart
rotten apple cores, half-eaten oranges
1/3 of a whole pizza and a rusty razor blade
laid bare...

I went upstairs,
they creaked and any second they were about to cave in

on the first door to the right was his room
spiderwebs cuddled with the doorknob
once inside, all I saw was stacked up **** magazines
dried up tissue, and a static TV.....
the pictures were smashed and there was hole in the wall
*******, rusty needles and ****** filled his dresser

I walked out and went to the second on my left
there was the attic.... filled with yearbooks,
degrees, pictures, just so many memories left untouched...

I walked to the last door on my right
that was his bathroom...
I open the door, the first thing I noticed...

it was Frank's body hanging from the rafters
he was wearing a white wedding dress
with makeup smeared all over his face
roaches ate his eyes and his arms
were coated with dry blood...
the toilet was filled with feces
the shower curtains were ripped
and the sink ran brown water
there was no note.....
but the body spoke for itself...

your fingernails under my skin
your skin, my fingernails within

blood boiled over and what for?
your guts gushed on the floor

your body oozing into mine
brothers, us lovers of clandestine

how the crow sings for you, my love
and for me, oh, the mourning dove

Candle lit room
Illuminated by moon light
A faint smile from the unknown lady of the night

I found her wandering in the boulevard
She's smiling for a person with unsatisfied carnal desires

She undresses and starts spreading sheets above us
Faint scent of her hair
A beauty, no doubt

I listened to her stories with a lit cigarette
How she used to be an honor student

She undresses me and kisses me
She knows where to lead her mouth and hands
She moves- making me quiver with her damp thighs

I will never know your name.
Only the shared cigarette and your story

She slides it in- Moaning, scraping, pulling, tugging.
I lost myself in ecstasy falling in my vivid dreams in the hedonist dimension of the universe.

*She grabbed my wallet and ran.
She opened it; and saw a picture of herself in my arms as a toddler.

On of the things i commonly see that disturbs me massively
Is a man wanting full control over a woman
It upsets me dramatically and i would never desire such a horrid concept
I want my girl to be free, as she bows to no one.

In my dreams, the nightmares of my mind,
My subconscious torments me,
Bringing me horror as I sleep.
Making me debate whether sleep is friend or foe,
As I drift deeper and deeper into the realm of dreams.

My name I hear, like a whisper.
As if the wind brought it straight to my ear.
My blood is ice.
I must run,
I must flee,
As I drift deeper and deeper into the realm of dreams.

I run.
Past tall, twisting trees.
The whisper now a cackle as something gives chase.
It breaths down my neck, hot and wet.
Legs moving faster, my fear mounts,
As I drift deeper and deeper into the realm of dreams.

I skid to a stop,
A wall of rock blocks my way.
I turn, then go still as the grave.
It is there.
The creature that feeds on fear.
It grins and advances,
Swinging a hangman's noose
As I drift deeper and deeper into the realm of dreams.