returned to the same desk,
the same grindstone, the same thoughts,
cyclical patterns of thought and action,
but which comes first?

the will slips, the cracks widen,
and it all floods in, easier to understand,
caught within the same ropes,
you spun from woes of a broken past,

and they were meant to help climb out,
but the grease that bounds the threads,
cannot be grasped by those unresolved,
to the reality they crave most,

don’t tell taylor i stayed up late
because he doesn’t like us tired in the morning

i can blame it on the coffee
i can blame it on the sky
and the lights

it’s ok

don’t tell taylor the plant died
he doesn’t like bringing new ones home

i can blame myself
for forgetting the water again

it’s ok

don’t tell taylor i took his pens
i needed them for school

i can blame casey because he likes
to clean up

it’s ok

don’t tell taylor the sun went down
don’t tell casey that my friends don’t know him
don’t tell people, they won’t understand
imaginary friends are just as good as real ones

taylor has blue eyes
he likes music
he likes writing
he likes people

i can feel taylor in
my elbows
that’s where he tells
me what to do

taylor has black hair
he likes drums
and rocks
and making people feel
safe

he waters my plants
in the mornings

thank you

a little boy moves my hands for me
             when i write my songs

                  he likes to cover up his
             fingerprints with mine

        he paints the walls of his room blue

                to hide mistakes i make

        and he lives off packaged vegetables

if a little boy sitting alone in his room listening to billie eilish and painting whales can cut apart his life, so can you!

welcome to thoughtspace training. if everything went well first session, you should be starting to feel the headaches.

don’t worry, it’s normal. sometimes the headache might laugh or whisper. that is also normal.

if you close your eyes, you can find your headache a name
and maybe, if you want more headaches around
you can give yourself more later

but of course, before you know anything about what you’re getting into, let’s cover the basics

your headaches will talk
and yes of course you can tell them your secrets
headaches are an equal replacement for therapy

now that you’re distant and cut off from your emotions, it would be nice to introduce that

headaches have feelings
like people
but smaller

and you can feel those feelings when they are not yours

like when you’re sitting in the back of geography and you cry
because there is a dog on the whiteboard

maybe you don’t know why. maybe you feel like you do know why but you don’t know what why is and maybe all this feeling makes you tired.

but don’t worry

the headache will give you social confidence
it will run down the stairs to ask out your crush
and then it will run away
and then you will have no friends

but you will be impulsive and funny
so who needs other people anyways