I tried a lot to keep my ego
not to destroy,
But I couldn't restrict it that it did not grow...
Because I feel everything ten times deeper,
ten times harder always, as you know...
You wanted my heart as a colorful and light toy
that greatly pleased and illuminated you
You could play with it as much as you wanted,
however, as you carelessly juggled and stirred,
Sometimes it crashed to the floor,
shattered into pieces
and cut your soft hands,
it made me hurt
and yet I am confused:
what a thing you really were
that happened to me!
You wanted to see me while I was rising,
Because you maybe wanted to feel only proud
You wanted to be loved by a genius,
whereas, yet I am myself - a regretful nihilist,
tired of purposes, targets and all...
And for me, it is much harder
to completely break up,
as I do not fool myself that you were ideal
and you were very gentle with my love which was too excessive.
I understood that you were not a durable state,
You know, I am like at home when the aura is depressive
and I have to accept this ******* hard reality
that I will always be alone
at my gloomy 'home'
without you...
It has no door,
It has no windows,
No place to sit,
Neither soft chairs,
Nor soft pillows...
And master says that;
when a suffering friend wants a place
to lean back in comfort,
Direct him to that, but
show a maximum effort
to be sure if the 'bed' is tough enough!
I came back my 'home' and came back to my place,
My 'bed' is ready
for the next phase of a craze.
Tough it is! Tough enough!
Too tough even for friendship!

I can hear you calling out to me,
Like a sailor hears the cries of the sea,
Like a seagull, or like a sparrow,
In the warmth of the sea breeze.

There are no trees, nor snow,
So I don't know what time it is,
The sand is eternal,
But for the traces it leaves.

I can hear your cries again,
And I cannot resist no more.

So please embrace me,
I am yours!
Have some mercy,
Before we go,
Let me hear the roar of the sea,
Once more.

As the rain outside gets louder,
With our favorite song on repeat,
I kept thinking, will I get better?
Will I cry again in discreet?
No, it was never easy.
To heal by yourself,
to keep your unsaid feelings in the shelf.
Every raindrop I hear, makes it harder to cover
Makes the pain heavier than ever
Every raindrop I hear, makes it harder to be strong
"I can last long, I can go along"
But it still hurts, I'm still stuck on that repeated song
And you're already on the next track

Woke up in my cold bed, i feel blank
Looking at the other side of it has made my heart sank
My tears are calling me again,
Like a clock, who doesn't stop ticking
I swallowed the big lump on my throat
And started to say what I feel in the form of silent cry
I kept asking myself, is there an antidote?
Will these tears soon run dry?
I turned the shower on, wishing this will wash the pain away
Every drop covers the tears from today
It makes me look like I'm still okay
Every drop, and I still feel the same way
I still feel like a drop, or perhaps, I really am
I was up there happy before you let go of my hand
And I got dropped on the ground.

Please forgive me
for i have not
been
so innocent
since
your
day of departure,
when i promised
to forget you,
i selfishly
promised myself
not to.

You hold echoes of a shift
so plaintively
against the swell
of midnight summer rain—
within the roar of the planes
on cold faded glass
the stuffy air at the airport

There was no way around it
that I could see—
the world still kept its spinning

You lock your stare here
and how I wish
I was packed up too,

snug heartbeats in your leather briefcase.

© BT

Our time together was brief,
Yet the bond ran deeper than a reef.

Your departure was too soon,
Needless to say I wasn't over the moon.

I still feel your touch in my palm,
A strange chaos within my state of calm.

Just want you to know I truly cared,
About your wellbeing and how you fared.

Your being and presence will be missed,
This is as far as we go, here's a goodbye kiss.