The circus came back to town last night,
Red and gold and little bit torn,
Like my heart on my sleeve, a bit weather-worn

I woke up in sequins and static again,
Mascara moons under my eyes, implying my sins.
Everyone claps when I make it look fun,
But no one sticks around when the lights come undone.

I’ve been the sad ******* the tightrope too long
Singing ballads to ghosts, always someone else’s song.
Balancing grief in a pink chiffon slip
Sipping my meds from a flask on my hip.

The elephants cry when they think we don’t see,
Caged in nostalgia just like me.
The trapeze swings, but I stay still
Frozen in mid air with no more will.

And God isn’t that the trick of the act?
To look like you’re flying with chains on your back?
To glitter in gold while you’re silently dying,
Turning breakdowns into something, something worth buying?

Carousel thoughts spin too fast,
A mirrored maze of my shattered past,
The crowd just wants their sweet matinee,
And I’m just the girl out on display.

The spotlight’s warm, but the glow’s all fake,
And I’m tired of bending just so I don’t break.
Call it a show. Call it a phase.
Call it depression in a pink beret.

Whatever it is, it’s mine to bear,
A circus of sorrow spun through the air.
And darling, I’d leave if I only knew how,
But the tent’s in my mind…
And the show’s starting now.

My demons haunt me.
They watch me closley.
Glowing in the dark with their big eyes hoping to trap me.
In the fairy tales all ends well

The hero defeats its enemy and is hailed before the masses.
This is no story and the enemy is relentless.
No pause, no rest, you have to keep defensive.

Demons don't lurk in the shadows here,
instead they are deep inside avoiding your attention.
Though they give clues leading to their detection.
You are soon thrown into a world of deception.

As you struggle battling between your comprehension and defeating the demons, they get away laughing at your grievance.

Busy trying to cope, keep hope,
in myself and everything that means most.
Failure is not an alternative but the fear of it weighs heavier in me than the energy to prevent it.

The soul will only heal when I look within, then my demons will not have room to grow therein.

I have these demons and they sing to me;
With woeful somber sonnets of abysmal dismay.
Their voices seemingly calling out with glee;
And their talons ready to grasp me within the fray.
But I am chains to the nothingness and wish to be free;
While its weight pulls me down like an anchor on the bay.
These demons are not friendly nor will they ever be;
But I lack friends, and they always stand beside me, come what may.

The stars cascade into their myriad shapes,
Connecting the dots across the vast expanse.
In the hopes of finding you within an upward glance,
I search for you.
But beneath me lies the dirt and the ******,
And remnants of you were where you once stood.
Your footprints have been carried off onto the sands,
And I am drowning in the waters like the somber of tears.
I will drink from you every drop until the memories tear me apart.