What I don't understand,
Is that I feel it when
We hold hands,
Or when she rests in my arms
And steals a quick glance,
When she thinks I'm not looking.
Or
When she half smiles,
And though shes been silent for awhile,
How there's a faint glimmer,
In those otherwise
Indifferent eyes.
How about when we tease
Each other, and talk ****?
Then we exhale
She rests her head on my chest
For a bit,
While her hand graces my thigh.
I feel it so strongly,
But I can't understand why
She won't say it
First?
My eyes feel so cloudburst.
I try not to make
It matter,
I know her better than that -
And for the sake
Of what we have,
I won't let it shake
Me, I let it be...
Call me an old young man -
I am old fashioned
In that sense,
I feel so juvenile
Cause I hated the word
"Boyfriend"
For the longest time
Yet it'd make me feel better,
Even if just for awhile.
Some of her peers know,
Through the affection we show,
But most don't
Is it a can't, or won't?
Perhaps I'm still a risk,
Cause I don't feel like a constant.
Maybe that's why sometimes she feels so...
Distant.
Is it real?
Is she worth it?
Of course it is,
Of course she is.
I can tell from all this
Fleeting bliss.
Cause I sense it,
When I'm half asleep,
With her curled up next to me.
Or when she places her lips
Ever lightly on my cheek,
When she runs her fingers through my hair,
In those moments,
I know she cares.
I try to think otherwise,
That its not a must.
I don't want to force her
To define what this is,
But I am selfish.
Because I need to know,
That shes willing to show,
That we are more than just friends -
That this is a means
That I am an end.
I know she loves me,
And that I love her
But sometimes
I need to make sure.
Am I that insecure,
To need to want more?
Grow up, Aidan.
