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Kate Lion Nov 2014
i dangle my feet over the edge of hell.
i'll never do it,
but i wonder if i will ever be able to braid my hair by myself
tie my shoes
smile like a two year-old who thinks cookies are the purpose of having teeth and a tongue

if i search in darkness, i will surely find despair
and there is a cellphone light glowing in my face
as i write this
so i should pursue this happiness
this temporary thrill i get from internet existence
My place in the world,
Small, fleeting,
Stressful, insignificant,
Oh, but blissful, rewarding,
Earning your keep,
Meeting your goals,
Dealing with people,
Getting better every day,
Mastering your craft,
Oh the paycheck ain't great,
And I don't have a fancy education,
Nothing a book could teach me,
Or a teacher lecture me,
That could reach my core,
And fill the emptiness,
So I left.
And, now, like every American,
I fell down at some point but,
Yes, I'm Free!
Yes I'm finding what it means to,
Pursue being happy,
And I hate that you don't wanna be here,
I hate that you don't want to support me,
I hate that my journey takes me,
Far away from you,
I hate that, you look down upon me,
With half-fond memories, stained by,
All the hasbeens and could beens,
And almost was's that we were,
That maybe if I'd just never fell,
Maybe if I hadn't wasted that year,
Maybe if I hadn't needed you so much,
In the worst of ways,
Oh my if I had just stayed the way I was,
For a few years longer,
Your ghost wouldn't be here haunting,
Scathing, judging, from so far,
so near.
I need an exorcist, darlin,
you are my demon, you are my fear,
you are my nightmare, my everywhere.
I hate that I met you, that I loved you so,
To this day, pathetically, you are the,
one piece of my life that,
will always be,
missing.
s Dec 2014
My mind is exploding.
I have so much in my head.
This oxygen, I'm breathing, I'm surviving.
I'm killing time.
I'm killing my thoughts.
I need less.
I need less of me.
I need less ideas.
I'm fighting my head.
It's a literal war.
The sad thing is that
I don't think I'm winning.
In every moment
There is a forever
In every second
There is eternity
You will live eternally
In this moment
I have to write this because I don't live as long as you humans
I'm just listening to Counting Crows,
and I get this feeling,
That I am so close to understanding,
Something, myself? Something.
And it leads to this eerie feeling of contentedness,
In the darkness.
But I'm just a step behind,
And the more I think, the more...
I lose my way, The more I question,
instead of listen.
But it scares me to let such a moment pass,
without pursuing... it.
Whatever it is.
Poetry? I think not,
Just splutter along the road of my soul.
Sure to be meaningless in the end, but,
Looking at it now, looking back a bit...
Oh to be **** half in the past,
And nirvana just out there,
A bit further along the way.
Almost childly, I blindly,
Reach my hand out and up,
Hoping that I'll be able to grasp the Sun,
As if I won't get burnt,
That since it seems so close,
I just need to grasp,
and the world will be mine.
But some things are not for mortals.
And demons, like kids,
Must too, one day,
Wake up.
JES Nov 2014
life is all about perspective
what have I done?
maintain my sanity.
optimistic.
polite.
worn out, burnout
worry about
control.
so different.
I am a daughter
I adjust as needed
annvelope Oct 2014
What kind of feeling would I have,
Without you around to hold?
One Pusumane Sep 2014
I keep hoping that this god will answer my prayers..
I wonder....
and

   wonder.....

Why does he keep me alive when  all I have is pain? I watched my mother walk out on me at the age of One.... I needed my father and he was only a figure in some stupid fairy tale book.. I need you to hold me in your arms,,
for once I want to admit that I am not okay. for once I want take off this mask....

for once I want to admit that I enjoy this pain, for once I want this sharp blade to love me even harder,,, deeper and in more ways that my other could not..... stay here with me and be a father that I desperately needed.....

I dont see stars in the sky,,, all I see is darkness , pain and suffering,,,, There was never a happy ending,, only a fragment of your imagination because you could not take the pain and for once know the meaning of pleasure..
Nicole Jul 2014
I think one of the biggest struggles about being on your own is realizing that you can't run from things anymore.
No matter how small, if you put something out of your mind,
it comes back and it really *****
because you're forced to face everything that you're afraid of
and every emotion that you'd rather not have,
all at the same time.
Anything that you've shut out,
everything that you regret,
especially things you try to deny to yourself,
you can't escape.
I guess it's part of growing up but no one warns you about it
and if you don't know how to handle it
it's one of the hardest things.
brahim Jul 2014
Bored of the land and all on it

Wondering what lies above that above me.

A field of blue with tufts of white like little cushions for gods .

Off to another plane  where the irregular is regular .

May be in the clouds there are no worries .

May be in the clouds there are no fears

A promise of heaven a promise of peace Free of hurt and filled with bliss

Now I envy the dead *** they don't feel

Calmly laying there after a life spent
Souls headed for the clouds

Forever starts where life ends .
Pain changes people
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