what gold have i
tremble
to me
in
clydesdales dreams


that my shoes
may fill these streets
all my chaos
be
strung
with violen strings


here me playing
in
streets

watch schollard mockers
read my display
watch
me
cry
in
the
corner


what child has mistaken me
that my love be
bubble
gum
blown


my child like thoughts
my man like dreams
these hands
these hands
these hands
could
****** you


walking  medalions quiver
leading
stalking
stallions silver
?








...
..
.

No one understands the pain I am in.
I sit here in complete silence
but the silence is deafening.
My thoughts grow louder and louder,
and before I know it I'm drowning in words
with no way to speak.

This eerie silence make me hear tinnitus,
My own brain buzzes noisily as always...

The saddening grief & the aggrieved sad,
Both terms are mine and am myself so..

There beats a heart of mine in her chest,
Seated in her ribcage between the *******.

I might be able to smile someday again,
And the smile be creditable to satisfaction..

The silence scares me & is so deafening,
Beeps continuously the tinnitus within...

the ***** of your chin is
gentle
nothing will numb you more
than the epitome of nothingness
soft collared shirts and grey-scale jeans
I feel music in you
like water
abounding with reluctance
here I stand
gently begging you to
be deafening.

chanting silently
we are here we were here
HERE WE ARE

with pale long dancing fingers I am
certain that the end is not near
nor will it ever be
for you

ever felt so many emotions
you went numb

ever heard silence so loud
it was deafening

ever saw light so bright
all you saw was darkness

because your life is a paradox

you gave it too much meaning now
*it means nothing at all

No calm
before storm.
Leaving, I will not tip toe
to the back door.
Not wait until you're
asleep.
Let clack of heels
break deafening
silence.
Refuse you satisfaction,
of thinking this would be
easy.
I told you already,
I am not your sometimes,
time left, is
up.

I want to scream it
like the sunshine gleaming in the window
like the movement of the moment
the descent of time
streaming slowly into never
... so loud...
... so eternal.
I want to scream it
like the whispers in your ear, persistent
the tick-tock
the rustle of the sheets.
I want to scream it
like the creaking in the branches
the footsteps in the hallway
the clatter of the dishes
the closing of the door.
I want to scream it
like shattering glass
the chatter in the distance
the twisting tornado
the breath from your nose...
the slip of that tear...
the quiet of this moment...
It's screaming at me.

The nights are so still
So quiet
So deafening,
That the unrelenting squeezing of my pounding heartbeat beats me to sleep like mama used to
Or did she rock me to sleep?
I have no time for memories.

I can hear the slow dribble of cells and waste and filth and disgust slide through my veins like honey and molasses from the mouthes of posh babes.

I feel my heart flutter and bang around and bruise itself up trying to escape from it's dank cage.
I'm sorry I don't have a better room to offer my Ruler.