my oldest friend
who I barely even knew
disappeared into memory
left alone with the new

The names change, the game remains the same.
it's a life of haste
but the pace is set by someone else's actions.
The attraction, I guess
Is the subtle inaction
a kind-of
cruise control slip stream
free from distraction.

Travel to distant corners
and don't tell anyone you're there.
Escape to encase yourself in life's impermanence
cuddling like a warm coat on a cold day
rather than something that surprises you with such despair
once or twice a year.
Nothing lasts forever.
and that, really, is the essence of everything beautiful.
This moment
right now
is the death of you, ten times over.
Use it to your advantage
go the extra mile
or sit still, in silence. I guess it doesn't matter.
Just inhale with contentedness and
exhale with relief
because nothing lasts forever

Travel through the darkness alone
and fall in love with who you become in the process
let yourself fall as far as you can
but know that you will always stand back up.
you will always, also, fall.
again and again.
but you will always stand back up.
slowly you'll begin to understand a deeper you,
underneath the mask and
the layers of insecurities.
and even the buried traumas of the past
start to unravel into nothing but dreams
as you introduce yourself again to the immovable depths
of your being.
an infinite spring across finite winters.

Sunlight settles on the space you once filled,
I wait patiently for its warmth to spill.
A test of mettle sinks my soul a step too deep,
I can't help to quell the emptiness
so I repeat what's left of you.

The season has changed, with a heavy heart.
Outside, the vinings grow
Twisting quietly inside.
I used to feel like a witness -
Watching love spring from behind my kitchen window
wishing I was encased in the bloom.
I would
lock the back door and
shut the windows tight,
out of fear that the twists might entwine
into the walls of my life.
So much fear for so much beauty.
Love, I know now, is a release;
   to give up -
an acceptance and surrender to decay.
I used to think that love is growth
as if love is to guide oneself, to light up the path in the night time.
as if love was
to assume that I know how best for you to bloom.
Love is freedom
an acceptance of what is.
Love is the pathway, not the light.
An unshakable trust in what is,
not what might be.
Too often we confuse it with it's opposite - possession.
'I am yours and you are mine'   -
What words of such desperate fear they are

You felt the weight of the world
before you'd finished your youth
and on the back of your hand
were the signs that you already knew
A hope of life again for you
The start of something new.

You've been through it all
the black and the blue
the darkest of nights
And still, you made it through.
Honestly,
I've lost my soul
A silent surrender
A relinquished control

But when I look at you
I know we'll be fine
I'll remember your face
it's engraved in my mind
I promise you
Something new
Each and every time

Just for you
Just for you

We've been through the darkness
and come through unscathed
Our frailties have left us
only bravery remains
and when I look at you
I know I'll be fine
It's something I want

Just for you
Just for you

Does he know
something I don't?
does he show you the ways
that I wanted but failed
to love you?
Once we're old
And our stories are told to your friends,
will the details look different
Will the context be changed in the end?
Will my pain be a footnote
Found just by an asterix
barely on show on the page?
Does he know
how you made me feel weak?
Did he laugh as you told him
that you feel more real in his arms?
That my part in your story
was never important?
That the scars that are left
would ultimately be worth all the harm?