When you try and try
how can it be
life's not easy for me
When you give your all
still it's not enough
there always wanting more
can't they see
Ive got nothing else
**** my bones clean
If you want
there's nothing I can do
I've got nothing else to give
I try I try nothing is all
I'm coming up with
You can't know my pain
I live with it everyday
Wonder why this hell
won't give me a break
Can't it tell I'm doing my best
can't it just let me rest
I need a change
I'm begging for change
A little happiness
Why is it not for me
Why am I not worth
as much as this life
Where can I hide
Where can I find
a little peace
I work and can do
just about anything
I have a soul it is kind
my intentions are good
So how do I stop the bleeding
it's ripping me apart
I feel like jumping
I feel like not breathing
would then I find
at best a little rest ..
© Jennifer Delong 3/6/18

You are my dreams in red silk, peaches in the sunlight, matches lit in the dark or in the rain, something red like rubies, bathing in moonlight, or a cold glass of milk.  You're the uprooter, the fiddler, the fool and the carnivore, a lion let out of the ringmaster's trance, a final foot down at the amphetamine dance.  I say your name under covers, under smoke and under darkness, under my breath like it's trying to get out.  It can't. You know that. Kids playing games don't kiss like that.  Then tell me.  You figure it out. Don't kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like it's the last one you'll ever get.  You've got the cards. I'll cut the deck. We've got all night, sweetheart.  What will you do with it?

it's that little voice inside your head that screams anything is possible ******, go shave your head go kiss that human that looks so beautiful tonight. It doesn't matter who you are today if you want to be someone new tomorrow. i find glowing and growing with this unattainable energy each time I visit the big apple seeing one thousand faces today I'll never see again past this moment.

we are so ******* little in the bigger scheme of life, in the most beautiful, unique, unrepeatable way.

This is a poem about love
and sticking your ***** in a dove.
Getting married in a church
of Satan.

I went to dunkin donuts
to get some ******* donuts.
A black man yelled at me
so loud that it made me ***.

So I unzipped my pants
and put my ding-**** on a table
then said "beat that ******!"
and he started beating himself while smoking a black and mild with a KFC bucket in his arms full of cow turds.
(I HATE ******* POETRY)

Poetry is the language of love.
No wonder it's full of *******.
Lust is where it's at
when I finger bang your uncle's grandpa's cat.

Randomness is fun
especially when you do crack.
I still ******* hate poetry.
You can **** my 20 foot purple headed yogurt slinger full of tar.

I am Bill Clinton and I approve this message.

I was expecting time to heal, but it hurt
you take my friend, I'll take the summer in the dark.
I feel like when I look at you
I'm looking at my own grave
So come out spiders, for all to see
I've been losing it for a while now
Was it true, how once upon a time,
you truly had some faith in me?
Now It's me against the world.

The darkness hides the spiders crawling on me
and my irrational fears caress me and turn me astray.
another hope to me,
is another reason to stay in bed.
I'd rather get lost in the beats roaring in my ears
It's okay I understand why you're with them.
It's probably just because they're better than me.
Is that why you left in the first place?

Forgive me, I counted off again, I know.
I know the days will only get worse from here
but still I hope today will be the only day
I'll say, "I've never felt so dead in my whole life."
Everyone moves on so quick, I'm so slow.
Can something just go right for a change?
Is something coming? Or is everything leaving?

So open your mind, though I'd rather turn it off
when I move, I'm spazzing out.  
Wait for me friends, I'm almost there
Just let me fight through this.

Now that I'm sure you're not coming back
you probably never needed me in the first place
and I probably wont ever move to you
I won't try either way now.
I'll still see you around though.
Though I can't promise I'll wave or smile.

Maybe tomorrow will be better
Part of me never wants to find out
and the rest of me wishes to skip summer
Yes, I know, I'm losing
and God knows it too.
**maybe if I just give it some more time...

Why did I do that?
Why am I being so cruel
to you and myself?
I shouldn't have let that happen.
I said we were done
and I meant it.
So why aren't we done?
I'm such a foolish little girl
and you're my heart beat.
I love you.
I hate you.
I love you.
For everything.
****.